


you can read me like a book

by superhoney



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Anal Sex, Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Dean, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean, Cas relives his eyeliner phase, Castiel Works in a Bookstore, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Crush at First Sight, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean likes it, First Meetings, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Mechanic Dean, Minor Balthazar/Castiel, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Misunderstandings, Slow Burn, Top Castiel, and resulting nightmares, implied bottom Cas, mentioned past Dean/Aaron Bass, mentioned past Dean/Lisa Braeden, mentioned past cas/others, mentioned past dean/others, mentions of fire, they're just friends though really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-06-03 04:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6595846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superhoney/pseuds/superhoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sam leaves for Stanford, Dean is left with some extra time on his hands and a mission to make himself a better person. When he goes looking for inspiration in the Self-Help section of the local bookstore, he finds Castiel instead- the hottest bookstore employee Dean has ever seen, even in that terrible vest. As Dean tries to figure out a way to get to know Castiel without looking like a total creep, Cas finds himself increasingly attracted to the green-eyed mechanic. Will they get their happily ever after?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first long-fic I've written for this fandom, and I'm really excited about it, but fair warning, it is a work in progress. I will try to update every week or so, and am aiming for about ten chapters all together. 
> 
> If you ever find yourself shaking your head in disbelief at some of the situations described as part of Cas' work, they are all inspired by my own experiences as a bookseller. 
> 
> Title from You Silly Git by Dan Mangan.

Castiel hated August.

Mostly, he hated what it wasn’t-- it wasn’t September. Considering that he had a Master’s degree under his belt and no plans to pursue his doctorate, his love for the month of September seemed odd to many people, even after his explanation: September was prime season for new releases in the book world.

Castiel loved books. This was a convenient aspect of his personality, seeing as he had been working part-time at this bookstore for the last two and a half years. Most days, he loved his job.

Today was not one of those days.

The air conditioning in the store was malfunctioning, the humidity causing the pages of the books to curl up, often leading to them overbalancing and falling off both shelves and endcap displays. Several customers had already complained about the less-than-pristine condition of the items they wished to purchase, and with two hours left in his shift, Cas’ patience was wearing very, very thin.

“Excuse me,” a pleasantly deep voice said from behind him.

“How can I help you?” Cas asked automatically as he turned to face his latest customer. Oh. What a face it was. Handsome features, faint freckles, plush lips, and a pair of startling green eyes that crinkled at the corners with the man’s smile.

“I’m looking for the Self-Help section,” the man said.

“Of course, right this way,” Cas replied, dodging around an elderly couple examining a display of gardening manuals. “Was there a particular title you were looking for today?”

“Nah,” the man said. “I’m just browsing for inspiration, you know? Don’t usually read much non-fiction.”

“Well, here we are,” Cas said, stopping in front of a table stacked high with the latest guides to a healthier, happier life. “Please let me know if you have any more questions.”

“Thanks man,” the handsome customer said with another smile, then turned examine the shelves, giving Cas the perfect chance to check out his broad shoulders, strong back, and truly spectacular ass.

The heat was becoming unbearable. Cas wondered if he would have time to grab a cold drink from the in-store cafe during his break, or if he would have to wait so long in line that he wouldn’t have time to enjoy his order. He allowed himself to briefly entertain a fantasy of having coffee with his attractive customer. But what would they have to discuss? It wasn’t as though their brief interaction had given Cas any real reason to suspect their compatibility. In fact, Cas had a rather deep-rooted dislike of self-help books. Though the man had said he didn’t usually read non-fiction…maybe they would have things in common after all. 

But daydreaming about coffee dates with customers was pointless, though it was a common pastime for Cas and his co-workers. It was an accepted fact of bookstore culture that attractive men shopping alone were a rare and mythical breed, and the staff made a point of notifying each other whenever such a unicorn appeared in their midst. Eighty percent of the time, a wife or girlfriend would show up later, dashing the hopes of the small group of single employees who were attracted to men. But it was still a good way to keep spirits up, particularly on rough days, so Cas made a point of subtly indicating the man still browsing in Self-Help as Anna passed by with another customer in tow. She widened her eyes in appreciation, never breaking stride, and continued to smile and make encouraging noises as her customer explained at length that she was looking for something light, but not dumb, with no violence or action, but definitely not typical ‘chick-lit’ either. Cas was certainly glad that he hadn’t gotten stuck with that woman. He helped a few more people, most of whom were looking for specific titles, and was starting to make his way to the staff room in anticipation of his break when the attractive man from earlier waved him over.

“Hey again,” the green-eyed man said. “You got any recommendations? I’m having a hard time picking something. They all make themselves sound like the only book I’ll ever need.”

“Well, what exactly are you looking to improve or change in your life?” Cas asked diplomatically. His break could wait.

“Kind of a bit of everything,” the man laughed. “I dunno. I’m sort of on my own for the first time in awhile, and I’ve got all this time to do nothing but think about myself, and all the shit I’m terrible at- oh, sorry for the language, public place and all.”

“Not to worry, though I do appreciate your consideration for others. I don’t mean to pry, but you said you recently found yourself with more time alone?”

A break-up, maybe?

“My brother just left for college, and I’m used to looking after him, so now I’m just worrying about him long-distance.”

Not a break-up. Cas wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

“And looking to work on yourself in the meantime?”

“Yeah, Sam says I should just do what makes me happy, that I don’t need to be better or whatever, but he’s gone off to college with the plan to become a lawyer, so he’s got a handle on making the whole world a better place, you know? I figure I should start small, work on myself a bit, maybe someday I’ll catch up to him.”

“Of course. That’s very admirable of both of you, you and your brother. However, you don’t seem particularly enthused about any of these books.”

“I’m full of good ideas but awful at the follow through, I guess,” the man said wryly. 

“May I suggest instead that you can learn just as much from fiction as you can from non-fiction, and often in more enjoyable ways?” 

“You trying to talk me out of buying something? Guessing you don’t work on commission.” 

“No, I don’t,” Cas said. “I apologize. This one,” pointing to a book on the shelf beside them, “is quite popular. I believe the author was on Oprah last week.”

“Do I look like the kind of guy who watches Oprah?”

“Is there a correct answer to that question?” Cas asked cautiously. He hoped he hadn’t offended the man. It was hard to gauge sometimes, but he seemed like the kind of customer you could be more casual with, not such a stickler for the rules of overly polite service. 

“I’m just teasing you, man. Screw Oprah. What would you pick for me?”

Cas looked him over, his plain green t-shirt, jeans, and practical boots, ornamented with a silver ring on one hand (though not the ring finger, thanks heavens). Something dense, since he mentioned having a lot of time to spare, but not too dark, Cas thought. 

“How do you feel about fantasy?” he asked.

“I like Tolkien and Robert Jordan and stuff,” the man replied.

“Perfect.”

Cas led him to the Fantasy section, stooping to pick a thick paperback off one of the lower shelves.

“Tigana,” the man said, examining the cover. “Never heard of it.”

“The author is a personal favourite of mine,” Cas explained, gesturing to the Staff Pick sticker on the front cover. “He writes alternate-history fantasies, most of which are stand-alones, but they all feature large casts of complex characters and sweeping political drama, all in beautifully poetic prose.”

“And why do you think this will be more helpful to me than the latest Dr. Phil book?”

“It’s incredibly…” Cas paused, searching for the best word. “Human. In all of its beauty and darkness. Difficult situations, and the strength it takes to face them.”

“Hmn,” the man said, scanning the description on the back cover. “It does sound pretty cool. But if I don’t like it, I’m holding you directly responsible for my lack of personal growth. I know your name now, buddy,” looking pointedly at Cas’ nametag, “though I’m not sure ‘Castiel’ isn’t a made-up name from one of these fantasy books you seem to like so much.”

“It’s an angelic name, actually. Most people just call me Cas, but the managers insisted on putting my full name on the tag.”

“Cas it is, then. I’m Dean, by the way.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you today, Dean?” Cas asked, enjoying the way the other man’s name sounded as it rolled off his tongue. It suited him. 

“Not this time, but I’ll be sure to look for you next time I’m here. Thanks, Cas.”

“Have a good day,” Cas said automatically, and watched as Dean walked off towards checkout with the book in hand. Sighing, Cas turned away and headed to the staff room to take his now rather late break. Worth it, he thought to himself. He very much hoped Dean would enjoy the book. Maybe they could discuss it over coffee, sharing their favourite moments, their most and least liked characters, the biggest surprises… but he was daydreaming again. Crushes on customers never led anywhere. The store was big enough that only the most frequent shoppers were true regulars, and with only part-time hours, there was no guarantee Cas would even be working if Dean were to return. It had been nice to have an interaction that was painless, and that the customer was attractive was simply a bonus. Cas resolved to forget the matter entirely, for the sake of both his concentration and his sanity. 

\---------

This was not at all how Dean had pictured his trip to the bookstore going. 

Usually he just went to the library when he needed something to read, but once he’d gotten this idea to use his suddenly Sam-free time in a quest for self-improvement, he decided that buying a self-help book would be a symbolic action, the kicking off of his new project. He knew there were smaller, independent bookstores downtown, the kind of places the college kids loved, but he also knew that they stocked more fiction and social science titles than they did self-help. So off he went to the chain store, knowing that at least it would have a lot to look at.

How was he to know that the employees there were far more interesting to look at than the books?

He hadn’t even been trying to pick the best-looking one. He had just spotted a figure wearing what looked like a uniform and gone for it, and then the guy turned around and hit him with that slightly stubbled jaw and those goddamn blue eyes. Dean was pretty new to the whole liking-guys-too thing, or at least to admitting it. If he had met this guy earlier in his life, he probably would have figured it out a lot sooner. 

Once the employee (Castiel, his name tag said) had left him to browse in the Self-Help section, Dean wondered if he should have kept him longer, asked more questions, acted more useless. He hadn’t even been able to summon up the patented Winchester charm. It had taken all of his energy just to interact with Castiel in a somewhat normal fashion rather than blurting out something incriminating about how pretty his eyes were.

But really, these books were freaking confusing. Every single one claimed to solve all of his problems, but how could they all know the exact levels of deep-rooted insecurity and feelings of inadequacy Dean kept covered up with his leather jackets and tough-guy attitude? Looking at the author photos didn’t help- all these people looked so calm, so placid, so boring. Maybe he did need more help after all, and if that happened to give him another chance to talk to Hot Bookstore Employee Castiel, so be it. 

And then they did talk again, and Dean blew it. Again. 

Well, at least they had a sustained conversation, though Dean was pretty sure that Castiel had been itching to get away from him the whole time, or at least until they started talking about books not in the Self-Help section. Leave it to Dean to turn this poor guy into his therapist. He probably wasn’t being paid nearly enough to have to put up with that kind of crap. Cas had seemed nice, though. Maybe he didn’t mind that Dean had overshared about the reason he wanted a new book. It had helped him pick something out, after all. 

Dean was overthinking things. Just because the guy had been hot, and obviously smart from the way he described the book Dean had ended up buying, and hot, and… well, that was about all Dean knew about him. But he wanted to know more, and that was the tough part. Attraction was one thing. It was fun, it was simple, whether it led to anything more or not. But anything deeper than that was a mess Dean really didn’t want to get into. 

Too late, he thought ruefully as he climbed into his car. Just looking at the Staff Pick sticker with Castiel’s name on it on the cover of his new book gave him butterflies. This was going to be trouble. As he pulled out of the parking lot, Dean considered his options.

One, he could give the book away to someone else, never set foot in the store again, and do his best to forget about Castiel.  
Two, he could read the book, hopefully enjoy it, and do his best to forget about who had recommended it to him.

Three, he could read the book, hopefully enjoy it, then go back to the store, find Castiel again, and at least make an effort to invite him for coffee to talk about it. In a neutral, two guys talking about fantasy novels kind of way. 

This was such a pain. Dean really hoped Charlie was home. She would know what to do.

“Bradbury, you here?” Dean called out as he unlocked the door to their apartment. “I need an audience with you, Your Majesty!”

Charlie’s head poked out of her room. “That sound serious, Handmaiden! Give me a second to put on pants, and then you may tell me your woes.”

Dean grabbed the ice cream out of the freezer and two spoons from the drawer and settled onto the couch. Charlie came out of her room and sat down beside him, grabbing both a spoon and the ice cream.

“So, what can I assist you with?” she asked.

“I, uh, might have developed an intense crush on a hot guy working at the bookstore,” Dean mumbled.

“And what’s the problem?” said Charlie. “Was he a dick to you? Or was he wearing a ring?”

“No, neither. I just freaked out a bit and told him too much about me and I was looking for a goddamn self-help book, Charlie, that isn’t exactly an attractive quality in a guy.”

“I don’t know, it means you’re both self-aware and that you take initiative, but that you have poor decision-making skills.”

“Yeah. Super hot.”

“You are super hot, Dean Winchester,” Charlie said sternly. “Even I can recognize that, despite my commitment to the fairer sex.”

“Well, this guy was hotter. Even in that ugly-ass vest those suckers have to wear.”

“I’m still not entirely sure what the real problem is here.”

“I don’t know how to flirt with guys!” Dean exclaimed.

“And you think I do?” Charlie asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Not exactly, but you know how to go after someone you’re interested in pretty well.”

“True, true. I do have a certain single-minded determination. It’s how I became Queen, after all.”

Dean shook his head fondly. Charlie was his best friend, and had been since they met at at a comics store years ago. She had dragged him into her world of LARP-ing and tabletop gaming, and they had ended up moving into this apartment together a few years back. She was one of the few people Dean had discussed his sexuality with, both because he knew she wouldn’t judge him and because he knew he could count on her for anything. Except, apparently, advice on what to do about Hot Bookstore Employee Castiel. 

“Okay, well, you know where he works, right? Normally I wouldn’t condone stalking in any way shape or form, but I’m always down for a trip to the bookstore. We go in, have a browse, see if he’s working. You say something about how helpful he was and bat those ridiculous eyelashes of yours, and I’ll try to assess his reaction,” Charlie said confidently.

“That sorta sounds like stalking.”

“Urgh. Okay. So what, you’re never going to go back there?”

“That was on my list of options, yeah,” Dean said.

“You are a brave warrior of Moondor,” Charlie scolded. “You can do this. Just keep an eye out for him next time you’re at the store, and tell him how much you liked the book you got. You did get a book, right?”

“Yeah, something he recommended, actually.”

“That’s perfect! He’ll be so happy that you liked it, and then you’ll have something to talk about.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to talk to me about it?”

“Then it’s his loss. Whether it’s just as friends with a mutual appreciation of quality literature, or as something more, you could use more people to talk to, Dean.”

“Thanks, Charlie,” Dean said, reaching out to take the tub of ice cream back from her. “You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am,” said Charlie. “Now let’s go over our strategies for next week’s tournament, okay?”

Talking to Charlie helped, as it always did. After they finished the ice cream, Charlie retreated to her room to work on one of her top-secret hacking projects, the kind that the less Dean knew about the better, or so she said. “So you can’t reveal anything under enhanced interrogation,” she said when asked. 

Dean had his own project to work on. He changed into a pair of plaid pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt, fluffed up his pillows, and settled into bed. He looked at Castiel’s name on the sticker on his book again, then deliberately peeled it off and tossed it in the trash. As much as he wanted to keep thinking about Castiel, that train of thought would likely lead to certain other bedtime activities, and he really did want to give the book a try tonight.

He opened the book, and began to read.


	2. Chapter 2

The next week passed slowly, the late August heat continuing to reduce Castiel to a sweaty, grumpy mess even inside the supposedly air-conditioned store. He was an expert at pushing through the discomfort, though, and he prided himself on never letting his customers see how irritable he was. He wasn’t convinced that they were worth it most of the time. 

Dean still hadn’t come back, or if he had, it hadn’t been while Cas was working. And none of his coworkers had mentioned anyone asking after him.

It had only been a week, Castiel reminded himself. And the book Dean had bought was quite thick. He probably hadn’t finished it yet, let alone come in looking for something else to start straightaway. Not everyone was as obsessive about always having a book on the go as Cas was. 

“Cas, it’s almost five,” Anna said as she walked past him on her way to the staff room. “You’re done now too, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Cas replied absently. 

“Big plans tonight?” she asked, winking at him in an exaggerated manner.

“Oh you know me, always out on the prowl on these lucky Friday nights off,” Cas joked.

“Well, I don’t know. I thought maybe you and Balthazar had a date or something.”

“Balthazar and I don’t go on dates, Anna. That’s not how our relationship works,” Cas replied as he opened the door to the staff room and held it for Anna to pass through. “We have a casual arrangement based on the fact that we like each other’s company, and have not insignificant physical chemistry. But we’re not together.”  
“I know, I guess I just thought maybe things had moved past that by now. I forget not everyone is looking for the grand romance like I am,” Anna said.

“Oh, I’m definitely open to grand romance. I just know it won’t be with Balthazar.”

“Fair enough. Too bad I don’t want to date him either. Does he have any friends he could set me up with?”

“I can certainly ask him,” Cas said, “though I don’t know if anyone he considers a friend would be a good match for you.”

“I’m not exactly a blushing violet, Cas,” Anna said. “I love all my friends, and my family, but sometimes I’m bored with them, because I’ve known them forever. Mostly I just want to get to know someone new, even if it doesn’t go anywhere. Do you ever feel that way?”

Anna had hit upon a feeling that Cas was very familiar with. His social circle was relatively small, consisting of his brother/roommate Gabriel, his college friends Samandriel and Hannah, Balthazar, and Anna and his other coworkers. He had also known most of them for years, and while their continued presence in his life was indicative of the strength of their relationships, he too felt the desire to meet new people now and then. Sure, working retail meant encountering new people every day, but half of them barely treated Cas or Anna as human, let alone as potential friends or partners. 

“I do,” Cas replied. “But I’m not quite sure what to do about it.”

“Let’s go out tonight,” Anna said. “ Somewhere fun, but not too loud or anything. Though we’ll need to bring more people with us, otherwise everyone will assume we’re on a date.”

“The perils of heteronormativity,” Cas sighed. “I’m sure Gabriel could be persuaded to join us. And I can ask Balthazar. If he doesn’t already have plans, he’ll probably come, and maybe bring a few people as well.”

“Perfect,” Anna said. “Look at us, being all decisive and goal-oriented.”

“Onwards and upwards,” Cas said solemnly. “I’ll text you later tonight, try to think up the best place to go in the meantime, okay?”

“Sure thing. See you later, Cas!”

Castiel waved as Anna left the room, then grabbed his leather bag and followed her out the door. He was lucky enough to live within walking distance of work, but on hot days like this, the twenty minute walk felt like forever. He wiped the sweat from his brow and increased his pace, knowing that it would make him sweat more but also get him home and in the shower faster.   
Arriving at the small house that he and Gabriel shared, he found his black cat, Faithful, lurking on the porch. 

“What are you doing out here in this weather, hmn?” Cas asked as he picked up his pet. “You are the most contrary creature I’ve ever known. Inside when it’s nice out, outside when it’s awful.” Faithful meowed and thrust his head against Castiel’s chin, obviously pleased to see him. 

Stepping inside the house, Cas looked for his brother, but found no signs of him. He deposited Faithful in the kitchen to drink some water, then headed for the bathroom, dropping his clothes on the floor and stepping into the shower with relief. The cool water was both soothing and invigorating. After his shower, Cas dressed simply in dark jeans and a lightweight blue button-down, then returned to the kitchen to contemplate dinner options.

Gabriel was sitting at the table, petting Faithful with one hand and eating a slice of pizza with the other. “Your cat is trying to steal our dinner,” he complained when he saw Cas.

“Clearly you’re indulging him,” said Cas, reaching for his own slice of pizza. “You feel up for going out tonight?”

Gabriel was only three years older than Cas, but his life was far more settled. He owned a small bakery downtown that specialized in custom cakes, though everything they made was delicious. Owning a business gave Gabriel a respectful air, which he countered with a mischievous manner whenever possible. He was devoted to the bakery, though, and often bowed out of nights on the town so that he could be at work at ungodly hours the next morning. 

“Is it a special occasion, or just a typical Friday night thing?” Gabriel asked.

“Nothing special, just Anna and I bemoaning the lack of new and shiny people in our lives and trying to go out and do something about it,” Cas said.

“You’re going out cruising?” Gabe asked gleefully. “Oh, I definitely can’t miss that.”

“I wouldn’t call it cruising. Just hoping for some nice human interaction with people who don’t remember my awkward eyeliner phase, that’s all.”

“You rocked that look and don’t let anyone tell you differently,” Gabe said. “But I take your point. Where are we headed?”

“Anna’s supposed to text me some options, hopefully soon. I’m going to invite Balthazar as well.”

“Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of going out looking to meet people? Or maybe it’s just really efficient, bringing your booty-call along so if no one else catches your eye, you’re guaranteed to get laid no matter what.”  
“Don’t be crude,” Cas said. “You always forget that Balth and I are genuinely friends, and have been since long before we started occasionally sleeping together.”

“I know, I just like to tease you about it.”

Just then, Cas’ phone lit up with a text message from Anna. 

'Hey Cas', the message read. 'The Roadhouse, 9PM? Gabe coming?'

'Hey Anna, sounds good', Cas texted back. 'Gabe is a yes, not sure on anyone else yet. See you then.' 

While he had his phone out, Cas sent a message to Balthazar as well. 'Going to The Roadhouse with Anna and Gabe tonight, meet us there? Bring people if you want.'

He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Unless he was at the office or in bed with someone, Balthazar almost always had his phone in hand. 'Sounds lovely. Will make my way there, see what strays I can pick up along the way. Xoxox.'

Cas smiled at the reply. He was always happy to see Balthazar, though he had no intention of sleeping with him tonight. They had been friends since a shared rhetoric class in sophomore year of college, and had bonded over their similarly snarky commentary on the professor and many of the other students. It wasn’t that Balthazar disliked people, just that he tended to treat them as things to study and collect and analyze. When he did make friends, he was generous and loyal, though always sarcastic. He was an outrageous flirt, and was notorious for charming people of all genders into his bed. Cas wasn’t ashamed to be one of them, but he knew it would never go beyond that, and didn’t want it to. They had slept together for the first time the night of their college graduation, just over two years ago now, and had mutually agreed to keep the physical side of their relationship casual and infrequent.

“Gabe, is my outfit okay?” Cas asked. 

“Shirt’s good, but can’t tell about the pants. Stand up, turn around,” Gabe ordered. Cas did so, feeling somewhat foolish.

“Oh yeah, your booty looks bangable,” Gabe said. “Good choice, little bro.”

“That wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but I suppose I’ll take it,” Cas said. “Are you looking for yourself tonight, or just coming along for moral support?”

“Oh, I think I’ll be keeping myself pleasantly buzzed without going overboard while laughing at your attempts to flirt.”

“I don’t know why you think I’m so socially inept. My job literally depends on me being personable.”

“Yeah, but you’re the taller brother, and there’s not much I can do about that other than invest in some heels, so I have to find ways to pretend I’ve got some advantages, and I picked social skills,” replied Gabe. 

“You are a very odd person,” Cas informed his brother.

“Yes I am. Let me know when it’s time to go, okay?”

Cas nodded his agreement, then picked Faithful up and retreated to his room to settle in with a book for a few hours before heading out. As much as he was looking forward to an evening out, he liked to balance it with some alone time with his book and his cat. Nine o’clock would come soon enough, and then Cas would be off on his own adventures for once, rather than just reading about them. 

\--------

Dean was having a pretty good day. He had a few more jobs to get through before the end of his workday, but they were all simple fixes, and then he had the whole weekend to relax, one of the many perks of working for a man he considered family. Bobby Singer wasn’t technically a relative, but he had been a supportive presence in Dean’s life for so long, he might as well have been.

When John Winchester passed away from a heart attack two years ago, Bobby was the one to take Sam and Dean in, no questions asked. Being twenty at the time, Dean was legally an adult, but he couldn’t bear to stay in the same house where he had now lost both parents. He had already been working at Bobby’s garage for two years at that point, and he knew how soft his boss’ heart was under that gruff exterior. 

“Almost done there, Dean?” Bobby asked, inspecting the car Dean was currently working on.

“Yeah, Bobby, she’s about ready to go,” Dean replied. “There’s two more back there that need a look, but shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“You going out tonight?”

“Thinking about it. Charlie said something about it, but she’s been known to change her mind.”

Friday nights were particularly strange for Dean now that Sam was off in California. When the brothers had moved in with Bobby two years ago, it had been more for Sam’s benefit than for Dean’s. Once it became clear that Sam was flourishing in a stable home environment, Bobby encouraged Dean to move out on his own, not because he didn’t want him there, but because he figured it was time for Dean to have something of his own. That was how Dean and Charlie had become roommates, and as much as he loved sharing an apartment with her, he had never been very good at being apart from Sam. So it became a tradition for the two of them to get together on Friday nights, grab something to eat or play video games or poker or just hang out. Sam had been gone for a few weeks now, and Dean’s schedule hadn’t quite adjusted to his absence.

“All I know is, Ellen’s been badgering me non-stop about you the past few weeks,” Bobby said. “Says she hasn’t seen you in awhile, wants to make sure you’re okay. Don’t know why she won’t just call you directly.”

“She probably doesn’t want to admit how much she cares,” Dean replied. “Too late, though, I know she’s just as big a softie as you are.”

If Bobby was Dean’s surrogate father figure, then Ellen Harvelle was currently the closest thing Dean had to a mother. Another old family friend, she owned the best bar and grill in town, The Roadhouse, and had perfected the combination of compassion and attitude it took to operate a drinking establishment. Her burgers were legendary, her beers always cold, and her advice always well-meant and directly delivered. She and her daughter Jo were good people to have in your corner, and Dean did feel bad that he hadn’t dropped in to see them lately.

“Well, if you ain’t got other plans, go grab a beer at the Roadhouse tonight, say hi to Jo, and get Ellen off my back, would you?” Bobby suggested. 

“Sure thing, Bobby. I think I can manage that.”

Dean didn’t bother making plans with anyone else for the night. When he arrived home after work, Charlie wasn’t there, which suggested that she had gotten distracted and gone off somewhere else. The good thing about going to the Roadhouse was that Dean was always among friends there. It was pretty early, but Dean figured he had a better shot of actually being able to chat with Ellen and Jo if he arrived before the crowd. 

He was right, and the place was pretty empty when he walked in, just a few regulars having a quiet drink at the bar. “Dean!” Jo exclaimed, looking up from the glass she was polishing. She came around the bar to hug him, wrapping him up in her surprisingly strong arms. 

“Hey, Jo,” Dean said. “Sorry I haven’t been by in a few weeks. What’s new?”

“New? We don’t know what that word means around here,” Jo joked. “The beers are all classic American, the menu hasn’t changed in years, and god forbid anyone try to play a song from the last decade unless it’s on karaoke night.”

“Well, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” Ellen said as she came out of the small office tucked into the corner of the bar. “Which is why I can assume you’ll be having your regular, Dean?”

“Yes ma’am,” Dean said. 

“Good. How have you been doing, son? Missing that brother of yours? The one who actually calls me to let me know how he is now and then.”

“Hey, I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Yes you are, and you thought that would somehow lead to you not getting any tough love?” Jo said.

“The Roadhouse: come for the burgers and beer, stay for the overbearing women,” Dean muttered.

Jo slapped at him with her dishtowel. “Overbearing, maybe, but also sharp of hearing.”

They continued to snipe at each other good-naturedly while Dean ate his cheeseburger and downed a couple of beers. The bar was steadily filling up, meaning that Jo had to actually do some work, but she still managed to chat to Dean when she had a spare second. By shortly after nine, Dean was considering calling it a night and going home to catch up on his Netflix queue before heading to bed. 

As he stood up to leave, he caught sight of a group that had just sat down at one of the large booths in the back. They looked to be around his age, and if Dean wasn’t mistaken, the dark-haired one was the guy from the bookstore last week. Cas. Hot Bookstore Employee Cas was here? Dean tried to catch a better glimpse to be sure, but they were sitting far enough away that he couldn’t tell. Part of him wished he was brave enough to go over and say hi, but he had only met the guy once, and their interaction had been in the context of Cas’ job. Besides, it was impossible to tell what the situation was between Cas and the people he was with: a shorter man with golden brown hair, a taller one with sandy hair and a haughty yet amused expression on his face, and a pretty redheaded girl. They might have all just been friends, but Dean wasn’t about to make a fool of himself by trying to hit on a guy whose relationship status and sexuality he had no information about.

“Who are you looking at?” Jo asked. “You keep looking over at the booths like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Just somebody I think I met somewhere,” Dean said.

“That’s incredibly vague. The group in the booth there? Which one?”

“The dark-haired guy,” Dean admitted.

Jo raised her eyebrows at that but thankfully didn’t comment. “Well, all I can tell you is that they have so far been perfectly friendly and polite,” she said. “So just go say hi. They don’t seem like they bite.”

“I don’t really know him, though. I just talked to him at the bookstore awhile ago. He works there.”

“Hot,” Jo said. “But I can see why you’re hesitating. I can’t figure out the dynamic over there. Stick around a bit longer, see if he comes up to the bar.”

“Good idea,” Dean said. “In that case, I’m going to need another beer.”

“Then I’ll be needing your keys,” Ellen said, appearing as if out of thin air. 

“Jesus, where did you come from?”

“The land of we-don’t-take-kindly-to-driving-while-impaired,” Ellen said sternly. 

Dean gave her his keys without further argument. There was no way he would ever risk his precious car driving under the influence anyways. He accepted his beer from Jo, angling himself slightly in his seat so he would have a better view of the booths. Cas was sitting beside the redheaded girl and across from the man with the sandy hair, but that was as much as Dean could tell from over here. 

All of a sudden, Cas was standing up and leaving the booth, but it looked like he was heading for the washroom, not the bar. Dean tamped down the impulse to follow him. That would be incredibly creepy, he told himself. His best bet was to stay here and hope maybe Cas would stop at the bar on his way back out. Just in case, he ran his fingers through his hair, fluffing it up a bit. Couldn’t hurt, right?

Dean tried to look casual as he waited for Cas to re-emerge from the washroom. Just a regular guy, drinking a beer by himself on a Friday night. Not a stalker, not a low-life with nothing better to do. Just then, Cas walked out of the washroom. Dean watched him, silently hoping he would make for the bar, and lo and behold, Cas did just that. 

Cas found a space for himself just to the right of Dean, though there were a few people in between them. Dean tried to angle himself in his seat to catch his attention, but it didn’t seem to be working. Jo was back behind the bar, and she noticed what Dean was trying to do, and gave him an exasperated look. After taking Cas’ order, she moved to where Dean was sitting and asked loudly if he needed anything else, making sure to use his name. Cas must have heard, because his head whipped around, and he saw Dean.

God bless Jo Harvelle, Dean thought, smiling at Cas and giving him a little wave. He was going to have to get her something particularly awesome for Christmas this year.

Once he had gotten his drink, Cas stood and came over to Dean. 

“Hello, Dean,” he said.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied. “Gotta say, I’m pretty impressed that you remember me at all, let alone my name. You probably see hundreds of people at work, that’s some memory you’ve got there.”

“I do have a better memory than some,” Cas said, “but it’s also possible that you were particularly memorable.”

Is Cas saying what Dean thinks he’s saying?

“After all, I try to keep track of which customers take my recommendations to heart. In case they do come back to complain.”

Oh. Dean’s purchase was what made him memorable. That was a downer.

“Have you had the chance to start the book yet?” Cas asked.

Dean could still do this. He could still have a conversation with Cas. They were in neutral territory now, maybe he could eventually get him to talk about something other than books.

“Not very far in, it’s a big one, but I’m digging it so far,” Dean said. “You were definitely right about the style, the guy’s an incredible writer.”

Cas smiled at Dean, teeth flashing in the dim light of the bar. I take that back, Dean thought to himself. I will keep talking about books forever if it makes him smile like that again.

“Who’s an incredible writer?” a voice asked from behind Castiel.

Oh. It was the guy with the sandy hair who had been sitting with Cas in the booth. Up close, he was attractive in a distinguished sort of way, and his accent made him more so. He stood quite close to Castiel, and ruffled his hair with comfortable familiarity. Dean wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t good for him.

“I convinced Dean to purchase a certain book at the store last week,” Cas said. “We were just discussing it.”

“I thought we had a rule about not discussing work on Friday nights, hmn?” the man said.

“Balthazar,” Cas began, but the other man cut him off with a hand over his mouth. Definitely familiar. Dean was so not in the mood for this. Of course Cas had a boyfriend. Of course he was older, and European, and well-dressed, and probably well-educated, and probably everything Dean himself was not.

“Hey, man, it was nice to see you again,” Dean said to Castiel. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“Oh, are you leaving?” Cas asked, and Dean could have sworn he looked disappointed. He was probably just imagining it though. Wishful thinking.

“I think I scared the poor man,” said Balthazar. “Don’t leave on my account.”

“Nah, I’ve been here awhile already, it’s about time I head home,” Dean said. 

“Well, if you must,” Balthazar said.

“Good to see you again, too, Dean,” said Cas. “Maybe we’ll run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe,” Dean said, and then he left. As he was heading out the door, he turned back to see Balthazar sling his arm around Cas and pull him in closely, while Cas dropped his head onto the other man’s shoulder. It would have been cute if it didn’t hurt so much. What was Dean doing, getting so invested in this random stranger? Just because Cas was the first person in a long time Dean had both been attracted to and genuinely liked didn’t mean it was meant to be. 

This was real life, not some story. Not everything worked out. But as he caught a cab to take him home to his empty apartment and lonely bed, Dean really wished things could have been different for he and Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note updated tags, we're starting to see that E rating come into play a bit in this chapter.

Cas couldn’t believe his luck when he saw Dean sitting by himself at the bar. He had gathered what little courage he possessed and approached the other man, and Dean had seemed pleased to see him. At least at first. Cas had difficulty finding something to talk about since they barely knew one another, but Dean hadn’t seemed to mind. Until Balthazar interrupted them, they had been making perfectly civil conversation, and Cas had been growing more comfortable, hoping their conversation could become more personal. 

So why had Dean left so suddenly?

“He was very pretty, Cas, I’ll give him that,” Balthazar said, jarring Cas out of his train of thought. “But a bit dull if he’s going home this early in the evening. Don’t worry, there are plenty more out there.” He wrapped an arm around Cas and gave him a firm squeeze, and Cas leaned into the comforting gesture instinctively, letting his head drop onto Balthazar’s shoulder.

Then a thought struck him. This easy physicality, the way Balthazar had touched his hair, then covered Cas’ mouth with his hand- was that what had bothered Dean? Maybe he was uncomfortable with two men being affectionate towards one another in public. Or maybe he was jealous, the hopeful part of his brain chimed in. 

“Balthazar,” Cas said sternly, lifting his head from his friend’s shoulder, “did you come over here purposely to scare away anyone showing an interest in me?”

To his credit, Balthazar looked genuinely surprised and upset at Cas’ question. “Of course not,” he exclaimed. “I was just going to give you a hand bringing drinks back to the table.”

“And you didn’t stop to think how your actions might have been interpreted? The physical intimacy, the joking?”

“Cas, that’s just the way I am, it’s never bothered you before.”

“I know. Just swear to me this wasn’t some sort of primal territorial claim,” Cas said. “That you weren’t trying to make Dean leave.”

“Is that truly what you think of me?” Balthazar asked. He really did look quite upset. “I’m perfectly happy with our relationship as it is. We’ve both been with other people since we started hooking up, and it’s never been an issue. I would never begrudge you whatever happiness you found, let alone get in the way of it.”

Castiel was ashamed of himself for even thinking that Balthazar would deliberately sabotage his chances with Dean, but he couldn’t deny the chain of causality between Balthazar’s arrival and Dean’s departure.

“I’m sorry,” Cas said. “I know you would never mess things up for me intentionally, but I do think Dean would have stayed if you hadn’t interrupted us.”

“Well, bloody inconsiderate of me then,” Balthazar said. “You really liked him, hmn?”

“Yes. He came into the bookstore last week, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and then here he was tonight, and then he was just gone. Now I don’t know when I’ll run into him again.”

“I do apologize, Cas. I would have tried harder to convince him to stay, or made myself scarce earlier.”

“It’s not your fault. I just wish I had gotten a chance to figure out what was going on between us. I haven’t talked to him long enough to tell if he’s just friendly, or if he’s interested, or if he’s just humouring me. But it’s too late now. Anna and Gabe will be wondering where we’ve gotten to, let’s head back to the table.”

As they made their way back to the booth, Cas realized that there was an extra figure sitting with Gabriel and Anna. The man was dark-haired and attractive, and looked slightly familiar, though Cas couldn’t remember where he knew him from. He was also sitting quite close to Anna, whose fair skin was flushed pink, possibly from the drinks or from the handsome man beside her. 

“Boys, you’re back!” Gabriel said. “Did you get lost or what?”

“No, I just unintentionally cock-blocked Cas, and now he’s all miserable,” Balthazar said. “But I see we have a new friend?”

“Hi, I’m Michael,” said the dark-haired man. “Nice to meet you both, Gabe and Anna have been telling me all about you.”

“Oh, I know you!” Cas exclaimed. “Friday afternoons, GQ and Esquire.”

“Is that code for something dirty?” Gabe asked.

“Oh, sorry, no,” Cas explained. “I recognize people by their purchases, sometimes. I believe you frequent my place of employment, Michael.”

“Makes sense,” Michael replied. “I was just telling Anna how surprised I was that I had never seen her at the store before, considering how regularly I’m there.”

“I would definitely remember you, and not just for the things you bought,” Anna said, then looked surprised, as if she hadn’t expected to say that out loud. Fortunately, Michael didn’t seem bothered by her comment. He just smiled and slid closer to her.

Cas was happy to see that Anna was having a successful night, at least. He caught Balthazar’s sympathetic smile from across the table, and willed himself to just enjoy the night for what it was rather than wondering what could have been. He was always getting lost in speculation, wandering through romantic daydreams, probably because he spent so much time with his nose stuck in a book. For now, he had to content himself with being a supporting (and supportive) character in Anna’s narrative. It was becoming clear that she and Michael were paying less and less attention to the others, and Cas wondered how best to gracefully allow the two of them some space.

Gabriel had no such respect for subtlety. 

“Cas, Balth, let’s leave these two alone,” he announced. “Shots at the bar, maybe?”

Anna looked like she was about to protest, but when both Castiel and Balthazar smiled encouragingly at her, she smiled back and waved them away. 

“Don’t forget there’s three of us and only one of you,” Balthazar said to Michael as they stood up. 

Michael raised an eyebrow, but didn’t seem particularly threatened.

“I’ll remember, but that won’t be necessary,” he said. “I’m pretty sure Anna can handle herself.” This was certainly true. Castiel knew for a fact that Anna had taken self-defense classes, and that she had no problem speaking her mind if she felt uncomfortable. Satisfied that she would be fine on her own, he, Gabriel, and Balthazar made their way to the bar.

“What can I get for you?” asked the pretty blonde bartender. 

“Whiskey, I believe,” said Gabriel. 

“Coming right up,” she said, and poured them each a shot.

“To friends,” said Castiel.

“To Fridays,” said Gabriel.

“To attractive strangers,” said Balthazar, with a wink to the bartender. To her credit, she didn’t look particularly impressed. “Aren’t you here with him?” she asked, gesturing towards Cas.

“Oh dear heavens, no,” Balthazar said. “I really do need to tone it down a bit, don’t I?”

“Shit, sorry,” said the bartender. “Classic Jo. I get ahead of myself a lot.”

“That’s quite alright,” Castiel said. “I think I know a way you can make it up to us.”

“Let me guess, free drinks?”

“No,” Cas laughed. “Actually, I couldn’t help but notice you talking to someone who was here earlier this evening. Dean. It seems like you know each other fairly well?”

“Yeah, we’re old friends,” Jo said, now sounding suspicious. “Why are you asking about him?”

“Since we’ve roped you into being our bartender-slash-therapist, here’s the deal,” Balthazar said. “Castiel here likes your friend Dean. We think we may have inadvertently given him the impression that Castiel and I are together, thus ruining any potential romance blossoming between them.”

“Is this why you guys were taking so long at the bar earlier?” Gabriel asked. “I missed out on this whole juicy thing?”

“Yes, sorry for not calling you over to witness it,” Cas said drily.

“Look, I’m possibly even more confused than before,” Jo said. “What exactly is it that you want here?”

“Tips? Advice? The twelve-step program to wooing the strong-jawed object of Cas’ affection?” Balthazar suggested.

“I don’t know about any of that,” Jo said, resting her elbows on the bar and looking at Castiel seriously. “I’m not going to make you any promises, but just because I was surprised that Dean left when he did, this is what I know: he was going to go over to talk to you earlier, when he saw you at your table. Then he decided to wait here and see if you came by, which you did. Then you noticed him, and then apparently your friend here scared him away.”

“He knew I was here before I came over to the bar?” Cas asked, unable to keep the note of surprised pleasure out of his voice. 

Jo rolled her eyes, but she seemed to have been caught up in the melodramatics as well. 

“Yes, he saw you earlier. Yes, I made sure to say his name when I talked to him so maybe you would realize he was there. You two are ridiculous, why can’t you just talk to each other like normal people do? It’s a bar. People talk to strangers all the time.”

“See, I told you you’re socially inept,” Gabriel chimed in. “Even this nice young lady can tell and she’s just met you.”

“I’m not nice,” Jo protested.

“Sure you are, because you’re going to tell us if, in your professional opinion, Cas here has a shot with your boy Dean,” Gabriel said.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Jo said. “And no, I’m not going to tell you that, because I honestly don’t know. As I said, I know he was glad to see you here. I don’t know what that means for you, or for him, so I’m just going to leave it at that.”

“Well, he certainly inspires a respectable amount of loyalty,” Balthazar said. “Just do us this one last favour? If you do speak with Dean, and he mentions anything about this, please let it be known that Cas and I are not together. You can even tell him I flirted outrageously with you to prove the point if necessary.”

“Please don’t do that,” Jo said. “I don’t want to have to throw you out.”

“I think it’s about time we were leaving anyways,” Cas said. “Jo, thank you for the support and the information.”

“You’re polite, at least,” she said. “And this has made my night more interesting. See you later, boys. Get home safe.”

All three men left generous tips for Jo, then stopped to say goodnight to Anna and Michael on their way out. Castiel was pleased to note that they were still engrossed in conversation. He would have been just as happy if the two had already left together, but it was nice that they obviously had a connection that went beyond the physical, since he knew that was what Anna had been hoping for.

Waiting outside the bar for a cab, Balthazar nudged Cas’ shoulder. “I really am sorry about earlier,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Cas replied. “If I’m meant to see Dean again, I will. And if not, well, I still had a good night.”

“That’s the spirit,” Balthazar said as they climbed into the cab that had just pulled up. 

“Boring though,” Gabriel said. “It’s way more fun to scheme.”

“I think we did enough of that, harassing the poor bartender,” said Cas.

“I’m pretty sure she would agree with me about the scheming. I saw that light in her eyes,” Gabriel replied. Cas rolled his eyes, and they dropped into a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride.

After dropping Balthazar off first, Gabriel and Cas arrived back at their house. As soon as they stepped inside, Faithful was twining around their ankles, meowing loudly.

“One day I’m going to come home drunk and trip over that damn cat,” Gabriel said.

“And it won’t be anyone’s fault but yours,” said Castiel, reaching down to pick the cat up. “Faithful knows how to behave himself, unlike you.”

“Too tired to argue,”” Gabriel mumbled. “Nighty night, little brother.”

“Goodnight, Gabriel,” Cas replied.

Cas got himself ready for bed, then settled in with Faithful curled up beside him, and let the cat’s soft purring lull him to sleep.

\---------

Dean woke up just before eight o’clock on Saturday morning, debating whether to get out of bed or just grab his laptop and hide from the world for a few more hours. He sighed, stretched his limbs out to all four corners of his bed, then got up. 

Right, he said to himself. New and improved Dean Winchester. Greeting the dawn, ready to attack the day. 

Except that he had no real plans, and so the whole empty weekend loomed ahead of him. 

Breakfast, he decided. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day. Pulling on an old pair of sweats and loose t-shirt, he exited his room and headed into the kitchen. Charlie’s bedroom door was closed, so she must have gotten in some time after Dean last night. He knew from long experience that nothing woke her up in a better mood than the smell of someone making breakfast, so he got to work.

Dean hummed to himself as he bustled around the kitchen, whipping up some pancake batter and frying up some bacon. He even chopped up the random assortment of fruits and berries he found in the fridge to make a fruit salad. Dean was a competent cook after years of taking care of Sam and himself, though he didn’t usually bother with anything fancy. Charlie was still impressed that he made his pancakes from scratch, using his mom’s old recipe. He had vague memories of his mother in the kitchen, preparing snacks for him or baking something special as a treat on the weekend. Cooking was a nice way to feel close to her again. 

“Pancakes and bacon?” Charlie said, stumbling out of her room and seating herself at the small kitchen table. “What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” Dean replied, keeping an eye on the food so it wouldn’t burn. “Just felt like a good breakfast, and I knew you would appreciate it, since it must have been something special you ditched me for last night.”

Charlie’s face turned nearly as red as her hair. “It’s possible that I entirely forgot about our plans,” she admitted.

“You’re so lucky I’m still making you breakfast,” Dean said, pointing the spatula at her. “You’d better be telling me all the juicy details in exchange.”

“Gilda asked me out! I thought she was seeing someone, and she kind of was I guess, but apparently it wasn’t working out. Anyways, we were talking about Moondor stuff for awhile and then out of nowhere she was like, do you want to grab a drink tonight, so I said yes, obviously.”

“But I’m not making breakfast for three because…”

“She just got out of a kinda crappy situation,” Charlie said. “We stayed out late, but it was all very PG. We’re taking it slow, because as much as we both like each other, we don’t want it to just be a rebound thing, you know?”

“Oh yeah, I know,” Dean said. 

He knew very well, in fact. Dean hadn’t had many serious relationships in his life, but after things ended with Lisa, his last girlfriend, he had gone on a bit of a spree. He was always honest about it, doing his best not to lead anyone on or make them think it was more than a one-night thing, but he also knew it wasn’t just because he liked the sex (which he did, obviously). When Lisa broke up with him, just over a year ago now, she had told him that as much as she cared about him, she didn’t see a future with him. Since they were both still so young, that shouldn’t have been a problem, except that Dean did see a future with her. And the fact that she wasn’t on the same page cut deeply, hence the string of hook-ups and the validation they provided. 

“Hey, are you burning the bacon?” Charlie asked, startling Dean out of his thoughts. 

“Nah, just getting it nice and crispy,” he said. “It’s all ready if you wanna grab some plates and stuff.”

Dean and Charlie got the table ready with the ease of long practice, setting out coffee and cutlery and maple syrup. Then they sat down to eat in comfortable silence broken only by appreciative noises at the taste of the meal. Just as Dean was polishing off the last of his bacon and debating getting up for a second helping, he heard his phone chime from the bedroom.

“Who the hell is texting you this early on a Saturday?” Charlie asked.

“Dunno,” Dean replied, standing up to retrieve the phone from the other room. “Oh, it’s Jo.”

‘Dean, last night was weird, and I’ll tell you the whole thing later, but for now: the guy whose attention you were trying to get? Not dating the other guy he was with.’

‘What? How do you know?’ Dean texted back.

‘They came up after, with the other guy, the short one. Had some shots, asked about you. I don’t know what’s going on here, and you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready, but the dark-haired guy is not dating the British one. Do with that information what you will.’

‘Thanks, Jo.’

“What’s going on? Did you leave something at the bar last night?” Charlie asked.

“No,” Dean said slowly. “I ran into Hot Bookstore Employee at The Roadhouse last night, and we talked for a few minutes, but then this other guy came up and was acting kinda touchy-feely with him, so I figured they were together and just turned tail and ran. And now Jo just texted me saying they’re not together.”

“How does she know that?”

“Apparently they told her. Felt bad for giving me the wrong impression or whatever.”

“So Hot Bookstore Employee is into you, then?”

“His name is Cas, and maybe? He was asking Jo about me, at least. What do you think?”

“I think all signs point to yes,” Charlie said. “He was probably confused about why you ran off so quickly, and disappointed that he didn’t get to talk to you more. So he somehow roped Jo into playing messenger so you would know he’s available. Which means the ball is in your court now.”

“Yeah, especially since I actually sort of know how to find him. I don’t want to be a creep, though, showing up at his work looking for him.”

“As we discussed last time, going in hoping to see him is not the same thing as going in looking for him” Charlie pointed out. “I think you might be overthinking this whole thing. You’ve already run into him elsewhere once, that could happen again too. When you finish this book, I will personally accompany you to his place of employment. We will browse around, and if you see him, great. If not, we will still be good paying customers.”

“It’s weird how you’re a hacker and yet have such respect for personal boundaries,” Dean mused, which was essentially his way of saying thank you, Charlie, for being the voice of reason.

“Yeah, it’s weird how people can simultaneously hold seemingly opposing viewpoints, huh?” she teased. 

“Shut up and finish your breakfast,” Dean grumbled. 

After breakfast, Charlie retreated to her room once more, probably for a nap. Being a self-employed computer genius lent itself well to strange sleeping patterns. Dean did the dishes and tidied up the kitchen, then checked the clock over the stove. Just after eleven. 

There was still a whole lot of day to fill.

Dean found things to do. He went down to the building’s parking garage and washed his car, giving Baby all the love and attention she deserved. Once she was squeaky clean and shining like new, he took her out to run a few errands, stopping at the grocery store and the pharmacy to pick up a few things. He texted Sam to check in, but his brother was pretty busy with orientation week activities, so they didn’t have time for a real chat. 

By late afternoon, Dean was back at home. The sun was perfectly angled to stream in through the living room windows, so he grabbed his book and made himself comfortable on the couch with a cold beer. He was so wrapped up in the story that he barely noticed the time passing until his stomach started to rumble. He debated just ordering a pizza, but since he had the time, he figured he might as well do some actual cooking now and save takeout for days when he needed a quick fix.

Charlie had disappeared again while Dean was out, so he assumed he was only cooking for one. He settled on a quick shrimp stir-fry, and once it was ready, he sat at the kitchen table and continued to read while he ate. This seemed like an efficient use of his time, right up until he dropped a mouthful of stir-fry on the page. 

Oh, charming, he thought to himself. Nice way to treat a book. It could have been worse, though. The stain wouldn’t be visible from the side, and at least it was his own copy and not something from the library. 

Taking this as a sign, he put the book aside and finished his meal quickly, then headed back to the couch to watch a few episodes of Star Trek. No matter how many times he saw them, he always enjoyed them, and it was the perfect way to end his day. He found himself yawning after just a few episodes, and since he wasn’t exactly doing anything important, he figured he might as well call it an early night.

Dean was used to showering at all times of the day depending on how greasy and dirty he had gotten at work, but he liked evening showers the best, finding them the best way to relax and unwind before going to bed. And since Charlie wasn’t home, there was no danger of her needing the bathroom, so he could take as long as he wanted without being interrupted. 

He stripped off his clothes and turned the water on warm but not hot, then stepped under the spray. He hummed to himself as he washed his hair, some catchy pop song that had played several times in the stores he had visited that afternoon. Sappy lyrics, but a good tune. Except that the sappy lyrics made him think about Cas. And thinking about Cas when he was naked and relaxed, well, it lent itself to certain activities that Dean hadn’t even considered until this point.

He let his hands drift slowly over his torso, lingering over his nipples, the warm water making everything slick and sweet. He could hear his own breathing speed up as he moved his hands lower, gently brushing over his cock. He wondered what it would be like if Cas were the one touching him like this, feeling free to imagine the scenario now that he knew Cas was unattached. He had looked so good at the bar last night, even in the dim lighting. His simple shirt and jeans had shown off that long, lean body, and the way he had rolled up his sleeves had drawn Dean’s attention to his gorgeous forearms and large, capable-looking hands. 

Dean groaned, imagining that it was Cas’ hands on his dick rather than his own. He moved his hands faster now, wondering what kind of noises Cas would make. What it would feel like to kiss those full, slightly chapped lips. Christ, Dean was close already. He braced himself against the wall of the shower with one hand, twisting the other around himself, rubbing his thumb over the head. With one last flick of his wrist, he was coming, the sensation so intense his knees nearly buckled. Good thing he had thought to hold himself up against the wall. He stroked himself through the aftershocks, enjoying the lingering feelings, then straightened back up and made sure all the evidence washed away down the drain. 

Well, he thought to himself as he turned off the shower and reached for a towel, if that’s what it’s like to come just thinking about the guy, I should probably suck it up and ask him out so I’ve got a shot at finding out just how good it could feel to do that with him for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

It was the first Tuesday of September, and Castiel was in a very good mood.Three of his most-anticipated fall releases were available today, and he had already helped several people find each of them. Nothing pleased him more than knowing that people were buying things he also enjoyed. He tried his best not to be a snob, to read widely and to only turn up his nose at works that were actively harmful. His passion for books was what kept him at this job despite the low pay and often irritating customers. 

“Cas, can you head over to Fiction General, there was someone shopping over there but they need me up at cash,” Anna asked as she dashed past him.

“On my way,” Cas replied. He located the customer easily enough, standing in front of the James Patterson novels with a bemused expression on his face.

“Can I help you find something?” Cas inquired.

“Finally,” the man grumbled. “The wife sent me in for the newest Patterson book, but there’s like a million of them. Can’t you just sort them by the newest or something?”

“That would certainly be helpful,” Cas replied, “but unfortunately I fear they would never stay that way on the shelves, which would only lead to more confusion. Patterson has several series on the go at the moment, did you know which one your wife was reading?”

“She reads all of them, just give me the newest one,” the man said.

Cas plucked a thick hardcover off the shelf. “This one just came out today,” he said.

“No, I want the paperback,” the man said, as though Cas should have instinctively known that.

“It’s a new release, it’s not yet available in paperback, sorry,” Cas said, rolling his eyes internally. 

“And the hardcovers are three times more expensive!” the man exclaimed. “What a rip-off.”

“It is a bestseller, so it’s on promotion for 40% off,” Cas offered.

“Whatever,” the man said, grabbing the book from Cas’ hands and walking away, still grumbling to himself. 

Cas shook his hand at the man’s back. His complaints were nothing new, nor was his attitude. Frankly, it could have been a lot worse. 

There were two young men in the same aisle, but when Cas asked if they needed help, they said they had already found what they were looking for. Noting the copies of Fight Club in their hands, Cas smiled. Typical. 

He wandered back out to the main aisle, but it had quieted down, with few customers visible. Since he didn’t see anyone immediately requiring service, he made his to the Fantasy section, his preferred area to tidy and maintain, since it also gave him the chance to browse for himself. 

He didn’t see anyone at this end of the store either, so Cas wandered down the aisle, starting at the beginning of the alphabet, straightening spines and shifting titles as he went, keeping note of stock levels as well. Not all the employees paid so much attention, but Cas had developed a reputation as a hard-worker who took his job seriously, and it gave him a comfortable rapport with his managers that came in useful in numerous ways. 

Just as he reached the end of the row and turned to begin the process on the other side, he heard a cheerful female voice approaching and straightened up, ready to be of assistance if required. The owner of the voice came into view: a petite red-head with a bright grin and a novelty t-shirt featuring Lying Cat, from the Saga graphic novel series. Cas smiled at the sight. He was a fan of the series as well.

“I like your shirt,” he said. “Can I help you find anything today?”

“Oh, thanks!” the girl said. “No, I’m good, just browsing today.” She seemed like she was about to say more, then paused, glancing briefly at his chest before looking back at his face.

Castiel had a brief moment of panic, thinking she was checking him out. Had she taken his comment on her shirt as a flirtation? She was certainly pretty, and obviously had good taste, but Cas was not generally attracted to women. 

“Castiel,” the girl said, now grinning slyly, “that’s an unusual name.” 

Oh dear, Cas thought.

“Yes, it’s the name of an angel,” Cas started to explain, but he stopped when a tall man turned the corner and came to stand right beside the girl.

It was Dean.

Dean was here, and oh no, maybe this was his girlfriend, maybe she hadn’t been flirting with Cas, she had heard about him from Dean, how that weird guy from the bookstore had talked to him at the bar and…

“Hey, Cas!” Dean said, with a full-blown smile that caused the skin around his eyes to crinkle charmingly.

“Hello,” Cas replied weakly. Still friendly, at least. Maybe they were just an adorable nerd couple who liked making equally nerdy new friends. That would explain why Dean was now handing the girl one of those complicated-looking frozen coffee beverages, keeping another cup for himself- this was obviously something they did often, picking up coffee and browsing for books. If he hadn’t been so personally attracted to Dean and therefore intensely jealous, he would have found the two of them charming.

“Oh, you go by Cas?” the girl asked. “I’m Charlie, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” Cas said automatically. Not really, he thought.

“So I finished Tigana last night,” Dean said. “It was incredible, you were right about it. I might pick up another one of his today, but what else have you got for me?”

Oh good. A task. This gave Cas something else to focus on other than Dean’s relationship status.

“You know what, I’m gonna go browse the YA section for a bit,” Charlie said. “I’ll meet you guys back here in a few.”

Dean gave her a little wave as she walked away with her drink, then turned back to Cas.

“You two are very sweet together,” Cas said, feeling that he had to acknowledged the situation somehow. Or maybe he just wanted to flesh out the details of their relationship to make himself suffer more. 

“Oh, no, no!” Dean said. “God, no. Me and Charlie aren’t together. She’s my best friend and my roommate, but we are definitely not an item. She doesn’t swing my way, and even if she did, it’s just never been like that between us.”

Well, shit. Cas cursed himself for making assumptions. Two people of different genders were certainly capable of having close relationships that were not romantic or sexual in nature. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed,” Cas said. 

“It’s no big deal, happens all the time,” Dean shrugged. “Besides, I think I might owe you an apology for making the same mistake about you, that night at The Roadhouse.”

So they were going to talk about it. Publicly. In the middle of Cas’ place of employment. Oh well. It was a slow night, and technically Dean had asked for help finding something, so he was still doing his job.

“Your friend the bartender did pass along the message, I see. I wasn’t sure that she would,” Cas admitted.

“Yeah, Jo told me,” Dean said. “She didn’t say much, just that you wanted me to know you weren’t with the European guy.”

“Balthazar and I are just friends,” Cas said. “Well, to be entirely honest, friends with very rare benefits. But it’s not serious.”

“That’s good,” Dean said.

“Is it?”

“Yeah. Cause I wanna know if you’ll let me take you out for coffee sometime,” Dean said.

Cas stared at Dean for what felt like a full minute. He was not expecting that at all. He thought, based on the strangeness of their brief interactions to date, that it would take a lot more awkward conversation before either of them worked up the nerve to do anything about the growing tension between them.

“Shit,” Dean said. “Did I read this wrong? Just cause you’re single and okay with hooking up with guys doesn’t mean you’re into me. I don’t wanna pressure you, man, especially not while you’re working. Forget I asked.”

“No, no,” Cas said hurriedly, trying to regain his composure. “I was just surprised. I would love to go for coffee with you, Dean.”

Dean’s smile was nearly blinding. Cas couldn’t believe it. This beautiful man had just asked him out? At work, no less? The other employees would be over the moon about this story. Usually when they got asked out at work, it was by people they would never consider saying yes to. But not this time.

“Awesome,” Dean said. “I gotta admit, I had really been hoping to talk to you more that night at The Roadhouse, but then your friend came over, and I kinda lost my nerve, started thinking that obviously a guy as hot as you would be taken, and I just bailed.”

Dean thought he was too hot to be single? Cas knew he wasn’t unattractive, but this was high praise indeed.

“It is too bad that we missed a chance then,” Cas said. “We’ll just have to make up for it, I suppose.”

“So if I were to ask for your number…?” Dean said.

Cas smiled at him, then reached into the pocket of his vest and found a pen and notebook. He wrote his number down, then tore out the page and handed it to Dean.

“Guess those vests do come in handy,” Dean joked.

“I’m honestly shocked to be considered attractive in this outfit,” Cas said. “I think these things were designed to be as unflattering as possible.”

“Good thing you’ve still got that pretty face, then, huh,” Dean replied.

Cas blushed. Dean’s confidence seemed to be growing now that their interest in one another had been made clear, and he was flirting so smoothly that Cas felt slightly overwhelmed. In the best possible way, of course.

“Do you actually want to look at some books?” he asked. “Or did you just come here to comment on my uniform?”

“No, I really do want something else to read. Charlie will be awhile over in YA, since she was obviously giving us space to talk.”

“She’s very intuitive, if she picked up on things between us that quickly.”

“It’s possible that I mentioned you to her after the first time we met,” Dean admitted. “She knows pretty much everything about me, sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Cas said. “I think it’s nice to see that you have such good friends, between her and Jo. And I quite like the idea of you telling her about me.”

‘Shut up,” Dean said, and it seemed as though he was now the one blushing. “Let’s talk books, okay?”

Cas rather enjoyed making Dean blush. He hoped he would get the chance to do it again soon. For now, though, he settled for placing a hand on Dean’s arm and smiling up at him. “Let’s talk books,” he agreed. 

\----------

It’s not like Dean had purposely been trying to finish his book faster so that he would have an excuse to go look for Cas at the bookstore.

Really.

He was just enjoying the book, and maybe he started bringing it with him to work to read on break instead of dicking around his phone. But that was because the tension was amping up and he wanted to know how things were going to turn out.

If finishing the book gave him an excuse to go on his casual, hopeful, not at all creepy bookstore trip, well that was just a bonus.

So when he read the last thirty pages on his lunch on Tuesday, he let out a deep breath, smiled, and shot off a quick text to Charlie, asking if she would be amenable to some bookstore browsing that night. She was quick to reply yes, and so the plan was made.

After dinner, they would head over, grab some coffee, and have a nice leisurely stroll around.

Dean wasn’t really expecting it to turn out this well. Things didn’t generally go this smoothly for him. When he realized who Charlie was talking to when he came back from grabbing their coffees, he almost turned right back around again.

But then he thought, maybe Destiny was giving him a break for once. Not doing all the work and just plopping Cas down in his bed and in his life, but at least giving him the chance to make that happen. And now it was up to Dean to see it through.

New and improved Dean Winchester, going after what he wants.

And then Cas had gone and gotten confused about the nature of Dean and Charlie’s friendship, which wasn’t exactly uncommon, and the look on his face when Dean clarified that they were just friends, well, that sealed the deal. He wasn’t just projecting. Cas was definitely into him. He could do this.

And so, Dean asked Cas out.

And after gaping at him like a deer in headlights for a minute, and after Dean’s frantic back-pedalling, and after Cas’ quick reassurance, finally things reached the conclusion they had been building to for the past few weeks: Dean and Cas were going to go on a date.

Thank God.

Except now Dean had made his move, and he had Cas’ number, and it should have been time to make a graceful exit, but Charlie wasn’t back yet, and Cas was still blushing faintly, and those big blue eyes were laser-focused on Dean like he was the best thing they had ever seen, and Dean didn’t want to leave quite yet.

So he didn’t.

“Let’s talk books,” he said instead, and watched Cas’ eyes light up even brighter than he thought possible.

“I’m wondering what else you think might be good for me,” Dean continued.

“That’s very vague, Dean,” Cas said sternly. “You’re going to have give me more to go on than that.”

“Okay, fine. I liked the last one a lot, don’t get me wrong, and I think I went through it at a good speed, but let’s maybe go for something a bit breezier this time. Thoughtful is fine, but a little bit more action-heavy.”

Cas appeared to think about this for a second, then frowned slightly. “Please tell me you’re not one of those people who thinks YA is for children and cat ladies.”

“Uh, no?” Dean answered. “Haven’t really read a lot of it, I admit, but Charlie’s always going on about how the term is misunderstood and how much great work is being done and how it’s way more progressive than stuff aimed at adults.”

“Good,” Cas said, then turned and headed out into the empty main aisle like a man on a mission, leaving Dean no choice but to follow. Good view, though.

Dean caught up to Cas a few aisles over, where he was reaching up to take a reasonable-sized paperback off the shelf.

“The Coldest Girl in Coldtown,” Dean read. “Cool title. Tell me about it. Much better than reading the back.”

“It’s a vampire novel,” Cas began.

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Like that Twilight crap?”

“In the sense that it’s about vampires, yes, but there’s little other resemblance.”

“Go on.”

“What’s interesting is that it reads like more of a zombie story.”

“Love me some zombies,” Dean admitted.

“Perfect,” Cas said. “In this book, becoming a vampire is treated like a contagious disease. If you’re bitten, you get the disease, but it won’t turn you until you drink human blood. If you can resist, you stand a chance. But no one ever resists, so society has created these quarantine zones called Coldtowns for the infected.”

“Sounds pretty good so far. Is it a whole series, or just the one?”

“It’s a standalone, though if you enjoy it, I would recommend checking out the author’s other works as well.”

“Okay, now hit me with the freshman English Lit buzzwords for this one.”

Cas laughed. “I would be so pleased to see this on any syllabus, but I fear even most Children’s or Young Adult Literature courses get so adventurous. One can only hope that I’m wrong. I would say the big one here is self-determination and agency. What choices define us, what makes us human. What our faults and our strengths both say about us.”

“Sold,” Dean said, and reached out to take the book from Cas’ hands. Their fingers brushed slightly in the process, and Dean swore he felt the warmth of Cas’ touch all the way up his arm. Shit. This was some Disney-level nonsense. 

Dean was just standing there, trying to come up with something clever to say, when he saw Charlie come around the corner. She had a small stack of books in her arms, and she seemed surprised to find Dean shopping in the same section as her. 

“Hey guys,” she said tentatively. “Are you luring Dean over to the Dark Side, Cas?”

“It would seem so,” Cas replied. 

“Oh, nice!” Charlie exclaimed, catching sight of the book in Dean’s hands. “Holly Black is wicked cool, and she’s writing the new Lucifer series, which is awesome, by the way.”

“Are you a comics fan as well, Dean?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, but I’m a bit more old-school than Charlie here,” Dean said. “More of a classic superhero kind of a guy, not that I’m not open to trying new things.”

“That’s a good attitude to have,” Cas said, looking at Dean very intently.

Dean really, really liked the way Cas looked at him. Like he wanted to know everything about him, memorize it, and treasure it forever. Kinda made him wonder what his face looked like when he looked at Cas.

Judging by Charlie’s amused expression, it was probably pretty damn sappy. She cleared her throat pointedly. “Why don’t I go pay for these,” she said, “and then meet you by the doors?”

“Oh, I gotta pay too,” Dean said, tearing his gaze away from Cas.

Charlie reached out and took his book from him. “Problem solved,” she said. “I think I can afford the extra ten bucks, and you know I’ll end up reading this one too, so it’s all good.”

“Thanks, Charlie,” Dean said, ruffling her hair just for the sake of it. “You’re a champ.”

“It was very nice to meet you, Charlie,” Cas said, and he sounded about 300% more sincere about it than he had when he thought Dean and Charlie were together. 

“Later, bitches,” Charlie said, heading off to make her purchases.

Which left Dean and Cas staring at each other again. They were going to have to work on their communication skills at some point.

“So, uh,” Dean began.

“This is awkward,” Cas said.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “I guess this is the point where I say I’ll call you, right?”

“Only if you mean it,” Cas replied a little warily.

“I wouldn’t have asked for your number if I didn’t mean to use it,” Dean said.

“Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll call you.”

They continued staring at each other.

“I really want to kiss you,” Dean blurted out. “Like, even on the cheek or whatever. But I know I can’t, cause you’re working.”

“I appreciate your consideration,” Cas said. “Since we’re being so blunt, I’d really like it if you kissed me, even on the cheek. Or whatever.”

“Maybe next time,” Dean said.

“When I’m not constrained by the rules of professional conduct,” Cas said.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll call you,” Dean said. “I promise.”

“Have a good night, Dean,” Cas said.

“Yeah, you too,” Dean replied, and then finally forced himself to walk away.

He met Charlie by the doors, and she immediately launched about a thousand questions at him as they headed out into the parking lot.

“So?” she said. “Did you guys talk it out? Is he into guys? Is he into you? Did he ask you out? Or did you ask him out? When’s the wedding?”

“Calm down, kiddo,” Dean said. “I asked him out. I’ve got his number. I’m going to text him once we get home so he has mine, and we’re gonna figure out a time to go out. Those are the important parts.”

Charlie squealed and threw her arms around Dean, squeezing him tightly. He pried her off and opened the passenger door for her.

“But seriously, I’m proud of you,” she said as he started the car. “I know how hard it can be to ask anyone out, and then adding in being unsure of their orientation, well, it’s a big step.”

“Thanks, Charlie,” Dean said. “I just figured it’s about time I start doing the things I want, right? That’s what this whole thing was supposed to be about. So I knew what I wanted, and I went after it. And let me tell you, it feels damn good.”

They spent the rest of the drive in silence, though when Dean glanced over at her, he could see that Charlie was still sporting a slightly maniacal grin. That girl had a tendency to get over-invested in her friends’ lives, but he knew that it was just a by-product of her big heart. When they got home, he swept her up in a tight hug, silently thanking her for her support. That was the best thing about their relationship, really: when Dean needed to talk, Charlie was there, and when he didn’t have the words, she understood anyways. 

Dean debated immediately starting his new book, but he was feeling pretty tired. Who knew this whole take-charge attitude would be so exhausting? Instead, he grabbed his phone, mentally composing a text to Cas. He figured the other man would still be at work, since the store wouldn’t be closed quite yet, but a small part of him wanted Cas to see his message as soon as his shift finished. 

‘Hey, Cas,’ he sent. Might as well start simple.

‘Hope the rest of your night went well. Let me know what your schedule’s like over the next few days so we can arrange a time to meet up. I’m usually free evenings and weekends.’

Dean busied himself with a few household tasks, cleaning up the living room and getting his lunch ready for the next day. He knew it would be awhile before Cas could answer him, but the more excitable part of him wanted to keep checking his phone every five minutes nevertheless. 

Just after nine o’clock, Dean heard his phone beep from the other room. He raced over to grab it, flopping down on his bed with a foolish grin on his face.

‘Hello, Dean,’ Cas had written. ‘My night was uneventful after you left, sadly. Are you free Friday night? I work until 5, so I’m available any time after that.’

‘Friday night sounds perfect,’ Dean texted back. ‘I’ll get back to you later in the week to make detailed plans.’

‘Can’t wait,’ Cas replied.

Dean put his phone down, still smiling. He had a confirmed date with Hot Bookstore Employee, and if he was reading the situation correctly, Cas was just as excited about it as he was. No more games. Dean wasn’t naive enough to assume that just because they were attracted to one another everything would go perfectly from here on out, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hope for the best. 

Dean didn’t think he had ever been looking forward to a Friday night more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise early update because the next few days are a bit busy for me, so hopefully this tides you over for awhile! Also I'm having so much writing this, especially now that these two dorks are making some progress. I hope you're having fun reading it too :)


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday passed with no word from Dean, and Cas was beginning to think he had dreamed their entire interaction at the store. He had said he would be in touch later in the week. It was later, right? Logically, Cas knew that there was no reason to be worried. He also knew that he was perfectly capable of sending Dean a text himself to make plans for Friday. Cas didn’t want to play games. He knew he wanted to see Dean again. So he told himself that if he hadn’t heard from the other man by the end of the afternoon on Thursday, he would reach out himself.

As it turned out, Cas didn’t need to take matters into his own hands at all. He had an opening shift on Thursday, and by the time he was able to check his phone on his lunch break, he had a message from Dean waiting for him.

‘Hey Cas, you’re probably at work right now, but just wanted to check if we’re still on for tomorrow night!’ Dean had texted.

‘Yes, absolutely,’ Cas replied. Dean must have been on his lunch as well, because he replied almost immediately. ‘Great, send me your address and I’ll pick you up at 7? Hope you like burgers.’

‘Yes to all of the above,’ Cas sent back, and received a simple smiling emoticon in response. 

Cas berated himself for thinking that Dean had forgotten about him. People didn’t necessarily start texting each other all day every day just because they had gotten each other’s numbers. Dean seemed surprisingly old-fashioned in his approach to dating, getting Cas’ number and then arranging a date, offering to pick him up….it was refreshing, and even a bit charming, in the days of casual hook-ups and swiping left or right. It was also deeply rooted in heteronormative expectations of dating, however. Cas had no idea what Dean’s dating history looked like, but presumably it was something they would discuss at some point if they continued to see one another. 

Feeling much better now that he and Dean had gotten in contact, Cas went through the rest of Thursday on auto-pilot. Friday was the same, at least until five o’clock rolled around and Cas was done work for the day. All of the sudden, the first date panic that he had avoided thus far was hitting him all at once. He walked home quickly, showered, and then stood in front of his closet wrapped in his towel, completely unable to decide what to wear.

Faithful twined around his ankles, obviously unsympathetic to his owner’s state of panic. Cas was half tempted to throw a bunch of outfits down on the floor and see which one the cat rolled onto first, but that decision-making process would only result in cat hair all over the selected clothing. Fortunately, he heard the front door open, meaning that Gabriel was home, and that he would have someone to help him dress to his best advantage.

“Gabe, I need your help!” Cas shouted.

A few seconds later, Gabriel peered cautiously into Cas’ bedroom, clutching the fireplace poker in one hand. 

“What the hell are you doing with that?” Cas asked.

“You said you needed help, I thought we were being robbed or something,” Gabriel replied. “I take it that’s not the case?”

“No, it’s far more delicate a situation than straightforward home invasion. I have a date with Dean in approximately an hour and I have no idea what to wear.”

“Okay, first things first,” Gabe said. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a date! We could have planned this better.”

“I actually don’t know,” Cas said. “I think I forgot.”

“Fair enough. So where are you going? Helps to get a sense of the dress code, you know?”

“He said something about burgers, but that’s all I know.”

“So pretty casual, then,” Gabriel replied, shooing Cas aside and rummaging through his closet. 

“Seems likely,” Cas agreed. “Jeans, obviously. The dark ones?”

“The dark, tight ones,” Gabriel corrected. “I would say a lighter colour for the top, maybe white, but you can be a messy eater sometimes, kiddo, and we wouldn’t want you getting ketchup on your shirt.”

Cas would have protested, but Gabriel made a fair point.

“Why is this so difficult,” he said. “I already know he likes me, I already know he finds me attractive, he told me so point-blank while making a joke about how unflattering my work uniform is.”

“It would be much easier if you just got naked together right away, wouldn’t it?” Gabriel commented. 

“In some ways, yes,” Cas sighed, peering over his brother’s head and pulling something out from the back of the closet. “What about this?”

It was a simple cotton button-down in a dark, smoky grey, but Cas knew that its slim lines showed off the length of his torso, and if he rolled up the sleeves, the pinstripe pattern on the underside of the cuffs would be visible.

Gabe tilted his head consideringly. “I like it,” he said. “Simple, elegant, a little dark and brooding.”

“And it won’t show any burger stains,” Cas added.

“Who says you can’t be both practical and sexy!” Gabe replied, clapping Cas on the back. “Good work, team.”

He bent down to pick up the cat, removing him from the room while muttering something about leaving Cas alone to finish getting ready. Cas didn’t want to know what that implied about Gabe’s pre-date activities if he thought any of them would scandalize the cat. 

Cas got dressed, towel-dried his hair and messed around with it with his fingers until it looked purposely dishevelled, and made sure he had his wallet, phone and keys with him. He checked the clock, and he still had about half an hour before Dean was set to pick him up. He used the time to catch up on social media and news from earlier in the day, and was soon caught up reading a recent book review on The New York Times website.

Then the doorbell rang. Cas dashed downstairs, but he was too slow. Gabriel must have been waiting in the living room, because he beat Cas to the door and pulled it open to reveal Dean standing on the other side, looking unfairly attractive in jeans and a plain but well-fitting black t-shirt.

“Hi,” Dean said, sounding slightly confused. “I’m here to pick up Cas?”

“Not without my permission,” Gabriel said, as though Dean could possibly find him intimidating.

Cas pushed his brother aside and saw Dean’s face light up in relief as he came into view.

“Hey, Cas,” he said.

“Hi, Dean,” Cas said. “I apologize for my brother. He likes to pretend that he’s protective, but really he’s just nosy.”

Dean laughed. “Brother, huh? You two don’t look very much alike.” He stuck out his hand, which Gabriel shook.

“I’m Gabriel,” he said, “and yes, Cas got the tall genes, but I have other stellar qualities to make up for my lack of height.”

“I’m sure I’ll come to appreciate them in time,” Dean said, “But for now, can I steal your brother for the evening? I promise I’ll take good care of him.”

“I bet you will,” Gabe muttered. “Go, have your fun. I’ll just stay here with the cat for company.”

“Bye, Gabe,” Cas said, stepping through the door and closing it behind him.

“So,” Dean said with a smile. “You ready?”

“Yes,” Cas said. He was fairly certain that the answer to any question would be yes when Dean was smiling at him like that.

“You look nice, by the way,” Dean commented. 

“You too,” Cas said, watching the way Dean’s shoulders moved as he walked down the driveway to where his big black car was parked in front of the house.

“I admit that I don’t know much about cars,” Cas said, “but this one is particularly striking.”

“Yeah, Baby’s something special, all right,” Dean said, running a fond hand over her shiny surface. “She was my dad’s, but then, well,” he trailed off. “Long story short, she’s mine now.”

Cas sensed that the story was painful for Dean, so he let the matter drop. Instead, he opened the door and slid inside, and Dean did the same. 

“Where are we off to?” he asked once they left his street and turned onto the main road.

“There’s this new little burger bistro that just opened up downtown,” Dean replied. “I’ve been hearing good things about it from the guys at the shop, so I thought this would be a good time to check it out.”

“The shop?” Cas asked. Somehow, he realized, he still didn’t know what kind of work Dean did. It had never come up in their brief conversations.

Dean looked as though he had just realized the same thing. “Oh, yeah, I’m a mechanic,” he said. “Forgot you didn’t know that, sometimes I feel like it’s stuck on a sign on my back or something.”

“It makes sense that your car is in such wonderful shape, then,” Cas said. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t let anything happen to her,” Dean said. “What about you, man? How long have you been working at the bookstore?”

“About two and a half years now,” Cas replied. “I started as a way to pay off my college debts, but since my Master’s degree is unlikely to get me any better job offers, I’ve just settled into it at this point.”

“Shit, you’ve got two degrees?” Dean asked. “Way to make a guy feel inadequate. I would have dropped out of high school if my brother hadn’t kept bugging me to stick it out.”

“It doesn’t make you any less intelligent,” Cas said. “Higher education isn’t for everyone. I loved it, but it wasn’t the most practical choice career-wise.”

“What’d you study?” Dean asked. “Literature, I bet.”

“You’d lose that bet, then. History and Religious Studies, actually. Though I did take a number of Lit classes as electives.”

“And you didn’t want to keep going, get another few letters after your name?”

“No, not particularly. I enjoy coursework more than individual research, and I wanted a break from academia for awhile. Now that I’ve been out for a few years, I find the notion of going back less and less appealing.”

“Well, I think you’re great at the job you’ve got now,” Dean said. “Possibly overqualified, but if it makes you happy, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Thank you,” Cas said. “I hope you’re not saying that just because it was my job that allowed us to meet.”

Dean laughed at that. “Definitely not,” he said. “Oh, hey, we’re here.”

They managed to find a parking spot just a few doors down from the restaurant, and Cas waited while Dean fed the metre. When he came back, he surprised Cas by taking hold of his hand.

“Is this okay?” Dean asked, almost shyly.

Cas gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Definitely,” he said, and they entered the restaurant with their hands clasped together. 

\-------------

Dean felt a thrill of nervous excitement as he and Cas entered the bistro, hand in hand. So far, so good. He had been on time, Cas hadn’t cancelled at the last minute with some suspicious excuse, meeting Cas’ brother had gone about as well as could be expected…

Dean was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Sure, he had been on plenty of dates before. He knew the routine. But this was his first date with another man.

Oh, he’d known for years that he wasn’t only attracted to women, but it wasn’t something he discussed openly. Obviously Charlie knew, and Jo seemed to have some idea, considering how she had helped make this date between Dean and Cas happen. Bobby probably knew, since he knew pretty much everything, and didn’t say anything, waiting for Dean to tell him when he was ready. And Sam? Dean had no clue about Sam. Not that he was worried that the kid would care, just that he would probably be smothered under the weight of Sam’s support. 

There had been a few crushes here and there, plenty of appreciative glances, and lots of jerking off to the thoughts of his favourite actors and wrestlers, but Dean had only been physically intimate with one guy up until now.

Aaron Bass was a year older than Dean, and he was out and proud even in high school, though no one gave him shit about it because he was such a friendly, non-threatening stoner. They hadn’t known each other very well then, but after they had both graduated and Aaron had come to Bobby’s shop to get his car looked at and Dean caught the way Aaron looked at him as he bent over the hood of the car… they had ended up back at Aaron’s place with a couple of beers and some hardcore kissing and groping on his broken-down couch.

Neither of them were particularly interested in pursuing anything further, which worked out well for both of them. Dean had said his goodbyes, fixed up Aaron’s car, and only seen him in passing around town since then. It had been fun, and it had felt awesome, but Dean hadn’t felt any real emotional connection, and he hadn’t met another guy who piqued his interest enough for even another similarly casual encounter. Not until he met Cas.

He wasn’t sure if this was something he needed to tell Cas, or at what point. They would probably talk dating history eventually, but Dean kinda hoped he would get a chance to know Cas a bit better before that conversation happened. It was always a bit awkward hearing about someone’s past relationships, no matter how they ended.

Dean just had to focus on getting through this date without making a total fool of himself. That was the mission. 

The hostess welcomed them and showed them to their table. Dean was glad he he made a reservation, since the place was packed. Cas was looking around with interest, and Dean took the opportunity to admire the way his profile looked in the low lighting of the restaurant.

“This place is charming,” Cas said. “And it already smells fantastic.”

“Awesome,” Dean said. “I wasn’t sure what you would like, but I figured it was hard to go wrong with burgers. They even have a couple of vegetarian options, if that’s your thing.”

Cas smiled at him. “No, I eat meat,” he said, winking at Dean.

Damnit, that wink was lethal.

“That’s, uh, good,” Dean stammered, and was saved from having to think up a reply to that by the arrival of their server. He ordered a dark ale for himself, and Cas chose a hard cider.

“I enjoy beer, but I really like cider,” Cas explained. “And it’s nice to see places like this making an effort to bring different ones that aren’t readily available elsewhere.”

“Can’t say I’ve ever tried it,” Dean admitted.

“I’ll let you try mine.”

“Deal.”

“So, Dean, tell me about yourself,” Cas said, propping his elbows on the table and leaning in with a serious look on his face.

“What do you want to know?” Dean asked.

“Whatever you want to tell me,” Cas replied, smirking slightly.

That was just mean. Dean took a breath and tried to determine what details of his life Cas would be interested in hearing about.

“Well,” he said, “My name is Dean Winchester. I’m twenty-two, I’m an Aquarius, I’m a mechanic at my surrogate-dad Bobby Singer’s garage. I have a younger brother named Sam who’s just starting school at Stanford, and I live with my best friend Charlie and no pets other than her collection of computers and gaming consoles.”

Cas smiled at him. “See, that wasn’t so hard,” he said.

“Your turn,” Dean said.

“My name is Castiel Novak, but most people call me Cas. I’m twenty-four, I’m a Virgo, and I work at a bookstore. I have an older brother named Gabriel, who you met earlier this evening. He runs a bakery, so I spend a lot of my free time either eating sugary treats or running to work them off. I also have a cat named Faithful.”

“I’m allergic to cats,” Dean said. “Is that a deal-breaker?”

“No,” Cas replied, “but it is good to know.”

Their server returned to drop off their drinks and take their food orders. Dean ordered the beef burger with cheddar and caramelized onions, while Cas opted for a turkey burger with bacon and avocado. 

“Tell me more about your brother,” Cas said. Obviously he had a lot of experience guiding conversations, he was so smooth at it.

Fortunately, Sam was Dean’s favourite thing to talk about.

“He’s a good kid,” he said fondly. “Four years younger than me, and he’s already a few inches taller. Still kinda gangly though. He’s so smart too, got a full scholarship to Stanford. Pre-law.”

“Your parents must be proud,” Cas commented, and then seemed to realize his mistake when he saw Dean’s face fall. “Oh,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry, Dean, I shouldn’t have said anything, I should have realized you hadn’t mentioned them before.”

“It’s okay,” Dean said, trying to collect himself. “We’ll have to talk about it eventually, you know?”

“If you’re comfortable telling me, I’m listening,” Cas said, and he reached across the table to take Dean’s hand in a comforting gesture. 

This guy was a catch, seriously.

“So, my mom passed away when I was just a kid. Sam was only six months old, so he never really knew her, but I remember her a bit. She was beautiful, and caring, but she didn’t take anyone’s shit either.”

“What happened?” Cas asked.

“There was a fire. I carried Sam out, and Dad went back for her, but part of the roof caved in, and he couldn’t get to her in time.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago, but it changed everything,” Dean said. “She was the love of Dad’s life, he didn’t know what to do without her. He did his best with us, but he travelled a lot for work, so we were on our own a lot of the time. And then two years ago, he had a heart attack, and then it was just me and Sam.”

“You mentioned your boss, Bobby, was a father figure?”

“Yeah, he took us in after Dad died. I was twenty, you know, but Sam was just sixteen, and it was a lot for him to take in. He and Dad fought sometimes, but they loved each other a lot. I thought it would be good for Sam to have someone steady in his life, and it was. Bobby’s awesome. I lived there with them for a bit, but soon enough they were thick as thieves, so I moved out and got the place with Charlie.”

“You have a good support system,” Cas commented. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“What about you?” Dean asked. It had been difficult getting all of that backstory out in the open, but he did feel better for it. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. 

“My family is fairly boring,” Cas said, taking a sip of his cider. “My parents live out in the country now, but I was born and raised here. We get along well enough, but we’ve never been particularly close. Gabriel and I are three years apart, so a lot of the time our lives were too different to really relate to one another, but once I finished my undergrad, we got the house together to save money, and it’s been nice, deepening our relationship like that.”

Their food arrived, and they took several minutes to eat in silence. Dean’s burger was excellent. Cas seemed quite pleased with his as well, and Dean inwardly sighed with relief. Looked like he had made a good choice of venue. 

“So,” he said, pointing a fry towards Castiel, “tell me about the worst customer you’ve ever had.”

Cas laughed and set his burger down. “Oh, that’s a difficult question,” he said. “People are terrible in so many different ways, it’s hard to pick just one.”

“Maybe just a recent one, then,” Dean said. “As long as it’s not about me.”

“I hardly think you qualify as my worst customer,” Cas said. “But let me think. Oh! There was a woman the other day who tried to argue with me that the sixth Game of Thrones novel was out, because she had seen it at another store. I assured her that it was not, that perhaps she had seen one of the redesigned covers and thought it was something new. She wouldn’t drop it though. Finally we had to call over two other staff members to back me up, because she was so convinced that she was right and I was wrong. As if we wouldn’t be the first ones to know if that damn book ever gets a release date, let alone actually makes it to the shelves.”

Dean laughed. “Oh man,” he said. “I get a bit of that at work too, people thinking they know the best ways to fix their car. I mean, sure, sometimes they know a few things I might not, because it’s their car and they’re more familiar with its little quirks, but for the most part, they’re there because they need my help, and then they like to pretend that they know everything? Drives me up the wall.”

“I didn’t think there would be so many similarities between fixing cars and selling books,” Cas said. “But I suppose it’s dealing with customers that’s the common link, and that tends to be the same no matter the situation.”

They were almost done their food, but Dean didn’t want the night to end there.

“Did you want to get another drink?” he asked. “Or we could head somewhere else? If you want to.”

“I want to,” Cas said firmly. “I’m having a great time, Dean.”

“Yeah,” Dean mumbled. “Me too, Cas.”

“Let’s do something else,” Cas said. “It’s a nice night. We can go for a walk? It will have to be at a leisurely pace, though, since I’m feeling rather stuffed.”

“You and me both,” Dean laughed, and waved their server over to ask for the bill. He took care of it, despite Cas’ offer to split it. They finished the last of their drinks and headed out.

“Do we need to add extra money to the meter?” Cas asked.

“Nah, it’s good at this time of night,” Dean replied. 

“Let’s go to the park,” Cas said. “We can amble along with all the families out on their after-dinner walks.”

“We’ll fit right in,” Dean said.

After a moment’s hesitation, he reached down and took Cas’ hand again. Cas looked up at him, slightly surprised, then smiled and tightened his grip. 

“This is nice,” he said.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “Been awhile since I did this.”

Shit. That had just slipped out. They’d already semi-accidentally gone through Dean’s tragic family history, he was sorta hoping not to have to do the relationship history talk tonight as well.

But then again, Cas had been really great, listening to Dean talk about his two dead parents with the perfect mixture of compassion and silent support. Dean felt himself wanting to tell Cas everything, and to know everything about him in turn. 

“Hmn?” Cas said. “What, gone for a walk? Gone on a date? Held someone’s hand?”

“All of the above?” Dean said. 

“Me neither,” Cas replied. 

Really, Dean thought. That was a surprise. Guy like Cas, Dean would have thought he’d be breaking hearts left right and centre. It was kind of encouraging to know that Cas had been out of the game for awhile as well. 

“I’ll tell you my sob stories if you tell me yours,” Dean offered.

Cas looked over at him and laughed. “Good thing we’ve got all night,” he joked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, only-slightly-awkward first dates! More walking and talking and maybe a little somethin' somethin' to come in the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, so the first half of this is pretty much just Dean and Cas swapping stories about their past relationships. If that bothers you, sorry? You might want to skip it. But I hope you don't.

Castiel could hardly believe that this night was real. He knew he was probably seeing Dean through rose-tinted glasses at the moment, but god, the man was about as close to perfect as one could get. Cas didn’t think he had ever felt such a strong emotional connection with anyone after spending such a short time with them. 

He had certainly never felt this way in any of his past relationships. Which he was about to discuss with Dean.

“Should I go by chronological order, or by alphabetical?” he joked.

“No order necessary,” Dean said easily. “Just tell me what you want me to know.”

“There’s actually not all that much to tell,” Cas admitted. “I suppose I should be grateful that my dating life has been largely drama-free.”

“No juicy stories? Damn.”

“Not exactly. I didn’t date at all in high school, for no reason other than being too busy. I’ve known that I’m primarily attracted to men for a long time, and my close friends at the time knew as well. And while it wasn’t a secret at school, since I never dated anyone, I managed to avoid most of the gossip or bullying.”

“That’s good. Kids can be awful. So how about college?”

“College changed things, as it usually does,” Cas laughed. “It was a good time for me. I came out of my shell a lot, made some good friends. Lost my virginity to a foreign exchange student I never saw again. Had a few casual hook-ups, but nothing too wild. My first boyfriend wasn’t until sophomore year.”

“Was he cute?” Dean asked.

“Very,” Cas replied. “His name was Raphael. We had a brief, passionate, but unfortunately combative relationship. As much as we cared about each other, we always seemed to find other things to care about more, and in the end, it wasn’t worth fighting over.”

“Sucks.”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“Then what?”

“I had a brief fling with a woman named Meg, but again, it didn’t last. She was around during what you might call a rebellious phase in my junior year. I think she liked the idea of me when I liked the idea of myself as troublemaker, but once I decided I was done with that, any spark between us was gone.”

Dean looked like he wanted to ask a question, and started to, but then changed his mind. Since Cas was fairly certain he knew what the question was, he answered it without being prompted.

“Yes, I had a short relationship with a woman. Yes, she was the only one. I’m not opposed to the idea, it simply doesn’t work out that way for me very often,” he said.

“Oh, geeze,” Dean said. “Was I being that obvious?”

“Only a little,” Cas said. “And to be fair, it’s the same thing everyone wants to know whenever I bring her up.”

“Let me ask you something else, then,” Dean said. “What exactly did this rebellious phase of yours involve?”

Cas winced. 

“Mostly I walked around wearing all black, including nail polish and eyeliner, and made a lot of cryptic, pompous statements about the state of the world and of humanity.”

Dean stopped walking and stared at him for a second. Cas waited for him to burst into laughter, as people normally did when they heard this story. Dean didn’t look amused, however. He looked...intrigued?

“That’s incredibly hot,” he muttered.

“Not you, too,” Cas said. 

“Well, no, the doom and gloom commentary is a bummer,” Dean clarified. “And all black gets a little boring. But the eyeliner and the nail polish? Damn. I like the sound of that.”

Cas was going to have to file that information away for future reference. Just in case.

“So, rebellious phase done, back to good old regular Cas, who is also totally hot, by the way,” Dean said. “What next?”

They had reached the centre of the park, where there were several benches clustered around the fountain. Cas sat down and pulled Dean down beside him, still holding hands. 

“Next was Bartholomew,” he said. “He was a few years older, working on his MBA. Very driven, very ambitious. We dated for a few months, but he was always making little digs at my choice of major, telling me how even with a PhD in my field there was no guarantee I would find a related position. Eventually, I had enough, and we broke it off shortly before my graduation.”

“So I gotta ask, where’s Balthazar in all this?” Dean said.

“Still worried about him?” Cas teased gently.

“No, just curious,” Dean said, though Cas wasn’t convinced.

“Well, Balthazar and I had been friends since sophomore year, but there had never been anything more between us. We slept together the night of our graduation, in a celebratory, we made it sort of way, and while neither of us was interested in it going further, we both agreed that there was no point pretending it never happened either. So, on very rare occasions, things between us become physical, only for a night at a time. But I assure you, Dean, it’s nothing more than that.”

“I believe you,” Dean said, giving Cas’ hand a squeeze. “I’ve got nothing against that kind of situation, trust me. I just wanted to make sure I understood it, you know?”

“Thank you,” Cas said. “Well, that’s me. Right up until the present. Are you ready to share with the class?”

Dean laughed. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll just dive right into it. I was such a cocky kid in high school, man, it was terrible. Walking around like I owned the place. Lots of girls went nuts for that, but Robin saw right through it. She was my first kiss, first girlfriend, first everything. But then she moved away, which sucked, majorly, so I didn’t date anyone else seriously until after high school.”

“You were already working for Bobby at this point, right?”

“Yeah, no college rebellions for me,” Dean said. “Cassie and I dated for about six months, starting the summer after high school, but it didn’t work out. Nothing too dramatic there, just the way these things go. Then there was Lisa.”

Cas noticed the way Dean’s voice changed when he said her name. Obviously, this was going to be a more complicated story.

“We started dating right after my dad died,” Dean explained. “She was great. Beautiful, smart, kind, incredibly supportive. I fell hard and fast for her, and I thought she felt the same way about me. I mean, that wasn’t exactly my best time, you know? And we were together for almost a year, and I thought everything was going so well, until I noticed that she would avoid talking about anything down the road, like she didn’t want to make any plans for the two of us. Finally, she told me she just didn’t see a future with me. That she liked me a lot, but that it wasn’t enough. That I wasn’t enough. Took me completely by surprise.”

Part of Cas wanted to track this woman down and ask her what would make her feel that way, and the other part wanted to send her a fruit basket for letting Dean go, freeing him up to be on this date with Castiel now.

“That sounds awful,” he said. “Especially to be so blind-sided like that.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t great,” Dean said. “I’m doing a lot better now, though.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Cas said. “Now, may I ask you a somewhat rude question?”

“Do you mean rude like rude, or rude like dirty?” Dean asked jokingly.

“Not dirty,” Cas said.

“Too bad. But sure, shoot.”

Cas hesitated, trying to find the most diplomatic way to phrase his question.

“I couldn’t help noticing that based on the names and pronouns you used, all of these past relationships have been with women,” he said carefully. 

“That’s not really a question, Cas,” Dean said lightly, though his shoulders hunched up as if he was protecting himself.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Cas said, though he was incredibly curious. He had noted Dean’s perfect performance of Ideal Het Gentleman, and this overview of his relationship history only strengthened that image.

“This is my first date with another man,” Dean said quietly. 

Normally, Cas would have demanded a prize for guessing correctly, but in this case, the prize was getting to be the lucky guy Dean was on that first date with.

“Am I just that special, or…” Cas trailed off, letting Dean finish his thought.

“I’m not stuck in the closet or anything,” Dean said. “I know I’m attracted to men, I’ve known for a long time. But I love women too, and it just worked out easier to date them, pick them up at bars, you know? It’s always been what people expect, so it’s what I’ve always done, and it’s no hardship.”

“I can see that,” Cas commented.

“So, yeah, I’ve never made a big deal of the liking-guys-too thing. Charlie knows, obviously. Haven’t told Jo directly, but she seems to have figured it out. Haven’t told Sam or Bobby either, but I’ve been thinking that I will soon,” Dean said.

“Based on what you’ve told me about them, I can’t imagine it will change anything between you,” Cas said encouragingly.

“I think you’re right,” Dean agreed. 

He didn’t say anything further, and Cas let the silence settle for a few minutes, giving Dean his space. Then he decided he should probably say something reassuring, so Dean didn’t think he was put off by his newness to this situation.

“I want you to know that it doesn’t change anything between us either,” he said. “I know it can feel strange, when one person is more experienced than the other, but I don’t care about that.”

This seemed to have a positive effect on Dean, who looked up at Cas and smiled.

“Who said anything about experience?” he asked. “I told you this was my first date with another guy. Emphasis on date, not guy.”

Oh. Well then. 

“You can’t just say that and not give me any details,” Cas complained. 

Dean laughed. “Just teasing you,” he said. “And yeah, I’ve fooled around with another dude before. It was awesome, but we weren’t cut out for a relationship. So don’t go thinking I’m freaking out about the physical stuff, because I’m not. The dating stuff, maybe a bit.”

Even the sound of the words ‘fooled around’ and ‘physical stuff’ in Dean’s voice were better than dirty talk to Cas at that moment.

“That’s good to know,” he said stiffly, trying not to let Dean see just how much that glib statement had affected him. 

But Dean was clever, and socially intelligent, and he noticed Cas’ reaction.

“I think I know what you’re thinking,” he said, sliding closer to Cas on the bench. He let go of Cas’ hand in order to wrap that arm firmly around his shoulders, pulling Cas in towards his body. “And I think I’m thinking the same thing.”

“Now that the soul-spilling is over and we’ve solidified our emotional bond, we should probably take advantage of the romantic atmosphere?” Cas asked.

“My thoughts exactly,” Dean whispered, and leaned in to press his lips against Castiel’s in a firm, declarative sort of kiss. 

Cas let out a noise of pleasure and kissed back enthusiastically, his hand coming up to rest on Dean’s waist, keeping them pressed tightly against one another as they deepened their kiss. When Dean pulled away after what felt like an eternity, Cas leaned his forehead against Dean’s shoulder as the other man carded his fingers through Cas’ hair.

“Dean,” Cas said, turning his head slightly so as not to muffle his voice.

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean said, kissing him again, but more softly this time.

“This may be a bit forward of me, but I’m thinking that this public park is not the best place for this after all.”

“Are you suggesting we move somewhere more private?” Dean asked, and Cas could hear in his voice just how much he liked the idea.

“Yes,” Cas said.

“Then yes,” Dean said. “Let’s get out of here.”

\--------------

Somebody upstairs had apparently decided to give Dean Winchester a break, and in a big way.

He had made it through the date without screwing things up. He had been sincere, and honest, and communicative, and the world hadn’t ended- he made a mental note to tell that to Sam the next time they talked. Kid would be so proud.

And what had all of that led to?

Castiel Novak sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala, Dean driving them back to Cas’ house with their hands interlaced between them. Cas kept glancing over at Dean as he drove, as if he couldn’t bear to take his eyes off of him for even a minute. It was both mildly amusing and incredibly hot.

Dean pulled into Cas’ driveway, and reluctantly let go of the other man’s hand in order to exit the car. The lights in the house were all off. Dean hoped this meant they would have the place to themselves.

“Looks like Gabe’s gone out,” Cas commented, unknowingly echoing Dean’s thoughts.

“Is it wrong of me to be happy about that?” Dean asked.

“No,” Cas laughed. “Not when I was thinking the exact same thing.”

They smiled at each other, and Dean let Cas walk in front of him up the drive so he could unlock the house and let them in. When Dean stepped in, following Cas closely, the first thing he saw was a pair of glowing eyes staring at him from the stairs.

“Jesus,” he yelped. “I forgot you had a cat.”

Cas immediately strode over and picked up his pet, holding the little animal against his face and speaking softly to it. Dean had to admit, it was pretty cute. He joined Cas by the stairs and stuck out a hand for the cat to sniff.

“This is Faithful,” Cas said. “Faithful, this is Dean.”

Apparently Dean was programmed to find all of Cas’ oddities endearing, because in someone else, this behaviour would be off-putting, but coming from Cas it was just charming.

“Uh, hey, Faithful,” Dean said, gently petting the cat’s soft black fur. He was rewarded with enthusiastic purring.

“Okay, he likes you. That means you can stay,” Cas announced.

“Just out of curiosity, what would have happened if he had hissed at me?” Dean asked.

Cas grinned at him as he put the cat back down on the floor. “Well, you’d have to leave, of course,” he said. “Faithful is an excellent judge of character, and the most important male in my life. If he didn’t like you, there would be no chance for us.”

The scary thing was, Dean wasn’t totally sure that Cas was joking. 

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Cas offered, changing the subject completely. Okay then.

“Nah, I’m good,” Dean said.

“A tour, then?” Cas suggested, his voice going even lower than normal, sending a shudder through Dean’s body. That voice did things to him, christ. 

Dean stepped closer, until he could feel the heat from Cas’ body so near to his. “That seems like it might take too much time,” he said.

Cas smiled at him, stretching out a hand and guiding him through the house. They entered a comfortable-looking living room just to the right of the entranceway, and Cas paused to flick on a lamp before settling onto the sofa. He patted the seat beside him, and Dean was across the room in an instant, crowding in so close that Cas’ leg was pressed up against his own.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Cas said. This seemed to fulfill the requirement for social niceties, because the next thing Dean knew, Cas was pressing him back against the cushions and kissing him like his life depended on it.

Now, Dean had kissed a lot of his people in his twenty-two years on this planet. He wasn’t the type to rank things, because he appreciated all the different ways that kisses could be good. 

Cas kissed in every possible good way. 

Soft, sweet kisses that made Dean’s insides melt. Slow, deep kisses that made Dean’s whole body tingle with anticipation. Quick, biting kisses that made Dean’s lips feel wonderfully bruised. 

He just held on tight and did his best to match Cas’ intensity. Judging by the quiet noises the other man was letting out between kisses, he was doing pretty well.

Cas pulled away for a second, and seemed to be trying to catch his breath. Dean took advantage of the moment to do the same. Then Cas gently ran his hand down the side of Dean’s face, trailing over his neck before pulling away again.

“Dean,” he said. “I know it’s awkward to ask, but I need to make sure I’m not pressuring you into anything you don’t want to do.”

Dean did his best to look reassuring. “You’re not,” he stated simply. “I want to be here with you, Cas, and I really want to keep kissing you like that because damn, that was hot.”

Cas managed to look both pleased and surprised at that. “That’s good to know,” he murmured. “But is that...all you want?”

Oh. Fair enough. Cas was checking in to see how much further Dean wanted to take things. Dean appreciated that. And to be honest, he wasn’t sure how much further he did want to go tonight. He never had a problem having sex on the first date, didn’t believe in stupid three-date rules or whatever the newest arbitrary timeframe was. As long as both parties wanted it, everything was good, in Dean’s opinion. But part of him wanted to do things differently with Cas, and he couldn’t even pinpoint why.

Cas obviously sensed his hesitation, because he started to draw back, placing some distance between the two of them, before Dean realized what he was doing and stopped him by grabbing his shoulder, keeping him in place.

“No, Cas, it’s okay,” he said. “I, uh, want to keep going. Just not all the way, you know? Not tonight.”

Cas looked at him solemnly, his blue eyes dark in the dimly lit room. “Shall I let you take the lead, then?” he suggested, and something in Dean’s face must have shown just how much he liked that idea, because Cas grinned and swiftly pulled Dean on top of him.

This was a nice place to be, Dean thought, straddling Cas with his legs on either side of him, hands braced on the back of the couch behind them. Cas’ hands were resting on Dean’s waist, just gently, maintaining contact without any force behind it. But it wasn’t enough. He brought his own hands down to cradle Cas’ face and kissed him as deeply as he could, attempting to communicate all of his gratitude and his desire in that one action. 

It must have worked, because Cas’ hands tightened on his hips, and Dean instinctively rocked himself forward, pushing his lower body into contact with Cas’. Cas let out a surprised gasp, but he mimicked Dean’s motion almost immediately, and the press of their bodies against one another was an incredible sensation. Dean could feel Cas’ erection, hard against his inner thigh, and he shifted himself over slightly before rolling his hips again, so that their cocks rubbed together through their jeans. Cas’ head fell back against the couch cushions, and Dean couldn’t resist the lovely line of his neck being exposed like that. He leaned forward, kissing his way down Cas’ neck, applying just enough pressure to make it ache in the most delightful way.

“Dean,” Cas gasped out, his hands moving under Dean’s shirt, greedily seeking skin-on-skin contact, “can I take this off?”

Dean grinned and pulled away from Cas long enough to tug his own shirt over his head and throw it across the room somewhere. “You too,” he said, helping Cas unbutton his shirt and pull it off his shoulders. 

And yep, Cas shirtless was definitely one of the best things Dean had ever seen. His skin was lightly tanned, and he had pleasingly broad shoulders and incredibly distracting hips. Judging by the way Cas was staring at him, Dean must have been looking pretty good himself. Cas trailed a hand down Dean’s stomach, leaving goosebumps in his wake, then grabbed hold of Dean’s waist once more and got right back to kissing him. Dean shifted himself even further into Cas’ lap so that they were touching as much as possible, loving the way their bare skin intensified the pleasure of their movements.

They were grinding together almost mindlessly now, lost in the natural rhythm of their bodies, and Dean could feel himself getting close already. It was fantastic, and while part of him liked the idea of getting off from this alone, he also really, really wanted to get Cas’ hands on his dick, and vice versa. 

“Cas,” he said. “Cas, I want to touch you.”

Cas’ hips stuttered against his, then stopped. “Please, Dean,” he whispered. ‘Yes, god, yes.”

Dean sat back slightly, giving them more room to manoeuvre. Keeping his eyes on Cas’ face, he undid the other man’s jeans, pulling them down just enough to make room for his hand. Cas eyes closed in pleasure as Dean ran his finger down his hard length, then wrapped his whole hand around him, gently drawing him out of his boxers. 

“Open your eyes, Cas,” Dean said. “Want to see you looking at me, touching you like this.”

Cas did as instructed, his eyes huge as he looked down at where Dean was holding him. Of course Cas had a nice dick, to match the rest of him. He was just above average length, probably, but nice and thick, and Dean really liked the way he looked in his hands. He started stroking him, using just a bit of pressure, loving the way Cas’ breathing sped up as his speed increased. Cas was frantically bucking his hips, trying to get more, so Dean stopped for a second to lick his hand, the increased wetness allowing him to jack Cas off more quickly.

“Dean,” Cas panted. “Dean, I’m so close.”

Dean was getting there himself, getting himself worked up by grinding against Cas’ leg as he continued to touch him. He stopped for a second, ignoring Cas’ whine of protest, to unbutton his own pants and draw out his own cock. He licked his hand again and gathered them both together, moving his hand rapidly up and down as they both fucked into his fist. 

“Cas,” he said, barely able to form words, “Fuck, Cas, I’m gonna come.”

“Yes, come for me, please Dean,” Cas said. “Come on, baby.”

Maybe it was the pet name that did it, because Dean groaned and tipped over the edge, coming all over his hand and Cas’ dick. Cas made a similar noise at the sight, and Dean continued to work at him until Cas stiffened beneath him and came, his mouth falling open in pleasure.

Dean leaned in and dropped gentle kisses over Cas’ face, from his forehead to his cheek to his lips, until Cas recovered his breath and returned the kiss. 

“That was fun,” Cas said. “Shall we do it again sometime?”

“I sure hope so,” Dean said. “We’re both kind of a mess now, though.”

Cas laughed and grabbed a box of tissues from the coffee table, offering one to Dean. “It’s nice to get a little messy sometimes,” he said. 

It wasn’t until they got themselves cleaned up and put their clothes back on that Dean started feeling a little bit awkward. “I guess I should probably get going,” he said.

“If you’d like,” Cas said cautiously. “You’re more than welcome to stay, though.”

That was tempting. But Dean was trying not to rush into things too much here.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said. “I just….”

“Don’t want to, at the same time,” Cas finished for him. “Dean, it’s okay. We don’t have to do things just because they’re what people usually do.”

“I know,” Dean said, “I just didn’t want you to think it’s because of you or anything.”

“I get it,” Cas said. “Sometimes it’s nice to slow down a bit.”

“Not too much, though,” Dean said, stepping in closer to kiss Cas again. “I’d like to see you again, and soon.”

Cas’ smile was brilliant even in the dimly lit room. “I hoped you would say that,” he said. “I like texting. We can chat, and find a good time to get together again.”

“Sounds perfect,” Dean said, heading for the door. Cas kissed him one more time before he left, a sweet, fond sort of kiss that almost made Dean change his mind about spending the night. He tore himself away with more than a little bit of regret, and made his way to his car, still wrestling with his decision. He liked Cas a lot, and it kind of scared him. He knew he couldn’t control his feelings, but somehow it felt like staying the night would only have encouraged this free fall into emotional territory he usually left unexplored. 

His bed did feel awfully lonely that night, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing smut is hard, guys. I have a much deeper appreciation for my fave naughty writers after struggling with this. 
> 
> Anyways, early update, hoping to get another chapter out by Wednesday or so because I'm going away for the long weekend after that, so the schedule has gone completely out the window, hooray!


	7. Chapter 7

Cas woke up the next morning to the sound of his phone ringing. For a brief minute, he thought it might be Dean calling him, missing him already… but then Cas rolled over and looked at the number displayed on his screen. Not Dean, work. That was disappointing. He debated just ignoring the call, because the only reason they would be calling him at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning was that they wanted him to cover a shift that day. Then he sighed and picked up anyways. Damn his conscience.

“I hope I didn’t wake you,” his manager Naomi said over the line.

“I was awake,” Cas lied. 

“Can you come in today? Maybe ten o’clock? We’ve already gotten several sick calls,” Naomi said.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Cas replied, though every inch of him wanted to pull the covers back up over his head and stay in bed all day.

“Thank you, Castiel,” Naomi said. “See you at ten.”

Cas ended the call, put his phone back on the bedside table, and stretched himself out in a starfish position on the bed. He gave himself five minutes to relax, then rolled to a standing position and headed for the shower. He knew it was in his best interest to continue to be a reliable employee, and his good rapport with the managers meant he could often ask favours in return. And he didn't have anything in particular planned for his day off. And, perhaps most importantly, the extra money never hurt. Especially now that he was dating someone. You saved a lot of money by being single, Cas reflected as he washed his hair. 

Once he was showered, dressed, and caffeinated, Cas grabbed his iPod and headed out. It was a lovely morning, and he was glad that the walk to work gave him a chance to enjoy some fresh air before being stuck inside all day. He arrived at the store, dropped off his bag in the staff room, put on his vest, and went out to sell some books.

Two hours later, Cas was exhausted. He hadn’t worked a Saturday in awhile, and not only was it incredibly busy, it was incredibly loud. Rather than the usual weekday shoppers, who came by themselves or maybe with one friend, the store was filled with families, taking up entire aisles with their strollers. He was very relieved to be sent on his break just after noon, mostly so that he could get a few minutes of quiet. 

Cas sat down at the table in the staff room with his yogurt and granola bar, then dug his phone out of this bag, ready to waste some time on the internet. To his surprise, he saw a text from Dean waiting for him.

‘Hey Cas, just wanted to say I had a great time last night. Hope we can do it again soon. Have a good rest of the weekend :)’

The message had been sent at about 10:30 that morning. Cas hoped Dean wouldn’t take his late reply as an insult.

‘Hey Dean,’ he texted back. ‘I had a great time last night too. Sorry for the late reply, got called in to work and I just saw your message now.’

‘That sucks,’ Dean sent back nearly instantaneously. Was he keeping his phone close by, waiting for Cas’ message?

‘I didn’t have plans anyways, so it’s not too bad, but it is a bit busy here today,’ Cas wrote.

‘How long are you stuck there for?’

‘Until five.’

‘ :( maybe you’ll get some awesome customers like me and Charlie and it’ll make your day’

‘Maybe. But I doubt it. There’s no one quite like you.’

‘Aww, you’re making me blush.’

Cas laughed. ‘I bet you’re cute when you blush,’ he wrote.

‘I think I’m adorable.’

‘The feeling’s mutual.’

Cas’ break was nearly over by this point, so he regretfully put his phone away. He knew Dean would understand why the conversation had ended so abruptly. 

Once he was back out on the floor, Cas found it difficult to concentrate. He was still thinking about Dean. He suspected that if he allowed it, this would become a recurring problem for him. Fortunately for him, it had gotten even busier while he was on break, and he was kept so busy locating, recommending, and ordering books for people that he simply had to push away his thoughts of Dean.

At least until the end of his shift.

When he saw the clock hit 4:59, Cas made an immediate dash for the break room, knowing from experience that walking too slowly would lead to people assuming he was free and stopping him to ask for help. He didn’t mind that on some days, but today he just wanted to go home. Maybe stop by the grocery store, pick up a few things for dinner. If he brought home fresh ingredients, Gabriel could usually be persuaded to turn them into something delicious. There were definite advantages to living with his brother, who loved regular food almost as much as he loved baked goods. Almost.

Waving goodbye to the few unfortunate staff members who were stuck working until close, Cas left and made for the grocery store a few doors down. He wandered through the produce section, picking things up at random- some fresh tomatoes, basil, a bunch of asparagus. Once he had been down all the major food aisles, he started to head for the checkouts, but a sudden thought popped into his head: the expression on Dean’s face when Cas told him about his eyeliner phase. The memory made him smile, so he made a quick stop in the small makeup section at the front of the store before paying for his selections and starting the walk home. 

Happily, Gabriel was already there when Cas arrived. His Saturday schedule could be a bit erratic, depending on how busy the bakery was and how many special orders he had to fill. Cas found his brother stretched out on the couch with the cat snoozing on his lap. He considered telling Gabriel exactly what had happened on that couch the night before just to see his reaction, but decided against it. It wasn’t the first time the couch had seen some action, and it hopefully wouldn’t be the last.

“Gabriel,” Cas said softly, unsure if his brother was asleep. 

“Present,” Gabriel said, opening his eyes.

“I brought groceries,” Cas said. “Want to work some magic with them?”

“Gimme fifteen minutes to recharge, and then yes, absolutely.”

Cas shoved his brother’s legs to the side and made space for himself on the couch. He had been on his feet all day as well, and it was nice to get a rest. Faithful woke up and came to sit in Cas’ lap instead, living up to his name. 

“So, did you have fun last night?” Gabriel asked suddenly.

“Yes, it was very nice,” Cas replied. “We went out for burgers, then for a walk in the park. Then we came back here.”

“You little minx,” Gabriel said approvingly. “I knew I left the house empty for a reason. So, how were his moves? He looked like the 10/10, would bang again type.”

Cas debated how much to reveal to his brother, since it was really Dean’s personal matters he was discussing, but for all his jokes, Gabriel could be serious and thoughtful when required.

“We didn’t go that far,” he stated simply. “Last night was actually the first time Dean had been on a date with another man, and I didn’t want to pressure him.”

Gabriel whistled. “You sure you want to deal with kind of baggage?” he asked.

“He has surprisingly little baggage in that regard,” Cas said. “He was a bit nervous about the actual date, which I can understand. So much of what is expected of people on first dates is rooted in outdated, sexist traditions that we now find hard to define against general manners and courtesy. He didn’t seem to be having any big gay panic, though, which was good.”

“You gonna see him again?”

“Yes, we’ve both expressed a desire to do so, though no firm plans have been made. We did text a bit earlier today while I was on break.”

“And everything seemed chill?”

“Yes, we had a perfectly civil and mildly flirtatious conversation. No melodramatics of any kind.”

“Okay, so he’s not freaking out about whatever you did get up to last night. Sounds like you hit the jackpot, Cas.”

“That’s pretty much exactly how I feel about him,” Cas said. “I know it’s early, but I think I could really fall for him.”

“Well, if you’ve got plans for lots of the sex in the future, you’re going to have to be well-fed,” Gabriel said, standing up and heading for the kitchen. “Come on, kiddo, let’s see what you brought home for me to work with.”

Cas shook his head as he gently moved the cat off his lap so he could stand up and follow his brother to the kitchen. Crass he might be, but Gabriel never failed to bring a smile to his face. 

\------------

That same Saturday morning, Dean woke up later than usual. He didn’t have anything planned for the day, so he could have stayed in bed, but he was feeling oddly energized. Maybe it was the extra bit of sleep. Or maybe it was lingering good feelings from the night before. Just thinking about it made him smile like a goofy kid. Since it was a reasonable time of the morning, he figured he could get away with texting Cas without seeming overly eager, so he did just that. He was slightly disappointed when he didn’t get a reply within a few minutes, but he knew there were plenty of reasons why the other man might not have his phone with him. He was pretty sure he wasn’t being ignored.

Dean didn’t bother getting changed out of pyjama pants and thin t-shirt when he went out to the kitchen to make breakfast. Charlie was nowhere to be seen, so he only cooked for one, and then settled onto the couch with his coffee and breakfast and his newest Cas-approved book. 

It was at least an hour later when his phone alerted him to a new text, but he had barely noticed the time passing, he was so absorbed in his book. When he saw Cas’ name on the screen, though, he dropped the book none-too-gently and scrambled to reply. Cas’ messages explained why he hadn’t responded until then, and Dean felt his tiny bubble of worry fade away. They were okay. No one was freaking out. Good. When the messages stopped, Dean knew Cas had finished his break. He could have just picked his book back up, but all of a sudden he was feeling oddly chatty. So instead, he texted Sam to see if he was free to chat. 

Rather than getting a reply, Dean heard his laptop make a noise from his bedroom, and when he went to investigate, he saw that Sam was calling him via skype. Dean had installed the program right after Sam left for California, but he hadn’t used it until now. Fortunately, it was pretty simple to figure out.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean said, not bothering to hide how happy he was to see his brother. “How is it that your hair is already that much longer? You haven’t even been gone a month.”

“Shut up, Dean,” his brother laughed. “Hair grows. That’s what it does.”

“So other than the lovely locks, what’s new?” Dean asked. “Tell me everything.”

“Where to start,” Sam said. “It’s awesome here, man. Classes are already tough, but I’m learning so much. It’s nice to be around other people who actually give a shit rather than just trying to get through. There are some of those, but most of the time they don’t bother coming to class anyways, so you can pretend they don’t exist.”

“How’s your roomie? Is there enough space in there for the two of you?”

“Yeah, Andy’s great. He wants to major in Philosophy, so he’s usually reading and spouting off all this deep stuff, except he’s also a huge stoner, so he’s really chill about all of it. It’s hilarious.”

“Don’t let him stink the place up too much, you don’t want to get kicked out,” Dean advised.

“Nah, he smokes outside a lot. That’s the nice thing about California, the weather makes that kind of lifestyle possible.”

“Also means there’s a lot of bare skin on display, I bet,” Dean joked. “Met any nice girls yet?”

Even over the webcam, Dean could see a faint flush on his brother’s cheeks. Looks like he had been right. He knew Sam would be a hit among the college crowd. 

“Only one who matters,” Sam mumbled.

“Oh yeah? What’s her name?”

“Jess. She’s in a couple of my required classes.”

“And are you pining over her from afar, or have moves been made?”

“We’ve gone out a few times,” Sam said. “She’s really great. Super smart. Kinda sarcastic. You’d like her a lot, actually.”

“Not too much, hopefully,” Dean teased. “Wouldn’t want to accidentally steal your girl.”

“Yeah right. Having trouble finding your own?”

Dean paused. This would be the perfect time to tell Sam about Cas, to have the long put-off conversation about his sexuality that Dean had been dreading. Or he could just laugh it off and change the subject, keep the focus on Sam.

“I know that face,” Sam said. “You’re trying to decide whether to lie to me or not. I can’t always tell when you’re lying, Dean, but I know when to suspect that you might be. So what don’t you want to tell me? Are you hooking up with someone you shouldn’t be? Oh my god, it’s Jo, isn’t it?”

“Jesus, no,” Dean said. “I am not hooking up with Jo. She’s like my sister. Gross, Sam.”

“Okay, then what?”

Dean took a deep breath. “His name is Cas,” he said. 

Sam’s face registered surprise, but less than Dean had expected. And it was slowly morphing into delight. “You’re dating a guy?” he asked. “Dude, you know I don’t care, right?”

“I know, why do you think I told you?” Dean said. 

“I am surprised that you didn’t look more constipated while trying to find some way to tell me with weird metaphors, though,” Sam said. “Like something about cake and pie or whatever.”

“You know, that’s not actually a bad way of looking at it,” Dean said thoughtfully. “I might have to use that one if anyone has trouble grasping the concept.”

“So, who is this guy? Did you meet him online or something?”

“Hey, I can still meet people in real life,” Dean protested. 

“Uh-huh. So, tell me the story. I bet it’s a good one.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Dean muttered. “I met him at the bookstore where he works. But I wasn’t going to ask him out there, it’s rude to hit on people when they’re working. Then I ran into him at The Roadhouse, but one of his friends was being really overly affectionate, so I thought they were together. Then Jo told me that they told her that they were just friends, but I still didn’t have his number or anything.”

Sam’s face was growing more and more confused the longer Dean went on. “This is the weirdest, most convoluted meet-cute I’ve ever heard,” he said. 

“Not even done yet,” Dean grinned. “So finally Charlie convinced me that it wasn’t creepy if I went back to the store as long as my main mission was to get a new book, and just hope that maybe he would be there. And he was, but then, like pretty much everyone else on the planet, he thought Charlie and I were together. So I cleared that up real quick for him, and then I was like fuck it, and I asked him out. And he said yes.”

Sam stared at the screen for a few seconds, then burst into laughter. “If I didn’t know you so well, I would think that you were making that up,” he said. “That is ridiculous, Dean. I mean, it’s great, but it’s ridiculous.”

“Oh, I know,” Dean said. “I lived it, I know exactly how ridiculous it is.”

“So have you gone on this date yet?”

“Last night, actually.”

“...and?”

“What, you want all the gory details?”

“Ew, no, I just want to know if it went well! I assume you’re going to see him again since you bothered to mention him to me at all.”

“I would have told you anyways,” Dean said, not looking at the camera. “I, uh, wanted to tell you for awhile. About the liking-guys too thing. I just never knew how to say it.”

And yep, there it was, Sam’s Supportive Face. “I hope I never made you feel like you couldn’t trust me with that,” he said.

“No, not at all,” Dean replied. “It just never came up, so I never brought it up. But this seemed like the right time, and besides, I’m trying to be better at the whole emotional honesty thing, you know?”

“I think you’re doing really well so far,” Sam said earnestly. “Have you told Bobby, or Ellen or anyone?”

“No, Charlie and Jo know about him, and now you, but that’s about it.”

“You should tell Bobby. When you feel ready, of course. You know he won’t care either, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Maybe I’ll just drop a casual line one day at work about how my boyfriend is picking me up, then run out of there to avoid actually talking about it.”

“That sounds like exactly the kind of thing you’re trying not to do, Dean.”

“Yep. So obviously I’ve still got a ways to go.”

“Just think though. Maybe I can get Jess to come home for Thanksgiving, and then you can bring Cas, and Bobby and Ellen will be so happy and so awful at showing it, it’ll be great!”

“Sam, Thanksgiving is like two months away, who knows what’ll happen in that time?” Dean said, shaking his head at his brother’s enthusiasm.

“You’re right, you never know what’s going to happen, but that doesn’t mean you should be totally passive about everything either, Dean. Until you don’t want to be with Cas, you should assume that you’re with him, and hope that you will continue to be. I mean, I’m not going to buy Jess a plane ticket to Kansas for the holidays at this point, but can I imagine spending them with her and my family? Absolutely.”

“Yeah, well, the last time I tried to plan for a future with someone, it turned around and bit me in the ass,” Dean said. “I’m not going through that again, Sam.”

“I know what happened with Lisa sucked. I know. But you can’t live with that fear for the rest of your life. Sometimes, the high is worth the pain.”

“Did you just quote Taylor Swift at me?”

“You recognized it. And don’t change the subject.”

“I hear you, man, I do. It’s just hard,” Dean admitted. “I’m just trying not to get my hopes up, that’s all.”

“Hope’s not a bad thing, Dean. I think you’ll come to realize that in time.”

“Wow, California really is getting to you. You’ve got the long hair, the stoner friend, and the peace-loving words of wisdom down already.”

“You’re the worst, Dean,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “Listen, I gotta go, I’m meeting some people for a picnic slash study session.”

“Nerd,” Dean said. “Is Jess gonna be there?”

“Maybe…”

“Wear something nice, brush that damn hair, and make sure to tell her how smart she is.”

“Wow, that’s surprisingly PG-advice from you, Dean.”

“Hey, not all my lines are best-suited to dive bars.”

“Yeah, whatever. Talk again soon, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, Sammy.”

“Bye, Dean.”

Dean closed the conversation window, then stretched out on his bed, mulling over what Sam had said. He knew his brother was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. Dean liked to pretend he was carefree in matters of the heart, but the truth was, he was really a romantic. He wanted someone to settle down with, someone to come home to, someone to be by his side through all the good and bad life would throw at him. And he had been so convinced that Lisa was going to be that person for him. He wasn’t angry at her anymore, but he could definitely trace his current hesitation over this new relationship with Cas right back to her. As excited as he was about it, that little doubting voice in the back of his mind kept telling him to pull back, not to get too invested, to slow down. 

It would also have been easier if he had any red flags from Cas, anything that could convince him that this was going to end badly. But it was the exact opposite. Cas had been so great the night before, charming and supportive and freaking talented with his hands and lips and pretty much everything else. Dean knew he was falling for him. It wasn’t just a physical thing, the way it had been when he first saw Cas at the bookstore. There were definitely feelings involved, even this early, and as Dean knew all too well, feelings were what complicated things.

So no matter what Sam said, Dean wasn’t going to make any plans for the future. He wouldn’t let himself imagine Thanksgiving dinner with Cas sitting with his family, or imagine himself meeting Cas’ family someday. He was only going to plan as far as the next date, because that was all he could handle. He would channel all of his excitement and his desire into the time he spent with Cas without thinking about how many more times there would be for the two of them, because that was what got him into trouble in the past. He just had to play it cool, to stop himself from getting too far ahead in his daydreams. 

Dean wished that his head and his heart could agree on something for once in his damn life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to put Sam in here somehow. Skype seemed like the best option. 
> 
> The next chapter is written, but I don't know when it will be posted, it'll depend on when I get time to write the next next chapter. In other news, this is probably going to be eleven chapters plus an epilogue now. Yay?


	8. Chapter 8

Cas and Dean had been texting on and off ever since their date, but as of Wednesday morning, they still hadn’t been able to schedule the next one. Cas went into work feeling a little bit gloomy. He had another long day ahead of him, and no plans with Dean to look forward to and help him get through the day. By four thirty, all he wanted to do was go home and cuddle with his cat. 

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice said from behind him. “Can you help me find the Erotica section?”

Cas spun around to see Dean grinning at him, looking incredibly pleased with himself.

“Dean!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing here? Wait, are you actually looking for the Erotica section?”

“Nah,” Dean laughed. “I just wanted to surprise you. And I kinda hoped that I might make you blush. It’s a good look on you.”

“It would take more than asking where Erotica is located to make me blush,” Cas replied. “I’ve gotten very good at not reacting to people’s questions, no matter how delicate they might seem.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“My favourite was the lady who came right up to me, and without even saying hello, told me she needed a sex book for her gay brother. I didn’t even bat an eye, just asked if she was looking for fiction or non-fiction.”  
“Did you find something for her?” Dean looked intrigued.

“Yes, we had a nice discussion about how distressingly heteronormative the Sexuality section is, and I left her debating between something along the lines of a beginner’s guide to the prostate and my choice, based on title alone, Master Your Man From Head to Head.”

“That’s a book that exists?” Dean asked. “Wow.”

“I know,” Cas said. “As much as I’m pleased to see that people still consult books for important matters rather than just trusting what they read on the Internet, I also can’t help feeling that those sex advice books would be a lot less necessary if people simply talked to their partners about what was good for them”

Dean blinked at him. “I get the feeling this is something you’re pretty passionate about,” he said. “It’s cool, though.”

“So really, did you need something to read, or are you just dropping by?” Cas asked.

“Got off a bit early today, though I’d swing by and see if I could take you out after you finish up here,” Dean said. “I know we’ve had a hard time making plans, so when Bobby sent me home and you said you were working until five, figured it was worth a shot.”

“That would be lovely, though I’m not sure I’m date ready in this outfit,” Cas said, looking down at his boring black polo and work pants.

“We can stop by your place for you to shower and change if you want,” Dean said. 

“That sounds perfect,” Cas said. “Why don’t you browse for a bit, then I’ll come find you when I’m done and we can head out.”

“Cool,” Dean said. He made a slight move forward as though he was about to kiss Cas on the cheek, but then caught himself and drew back. “Right, probably shouldn’t be getting affectionate while you’re at work,” he said.

“It’s the thought that counts,” Cas said, and left Dean to browse in Fantasy, not in Erotica. 

Cas helped a few more customers, and soon enough it was five o’clock. He gathered his things in a hurry and located Dean not far from where had left him. 

“Ready when you are,” Cas said. 

“Let’s roll,” Dean said. 

As soon as they were outside the store, Dean stopped Cas with a hand on his shoulder, then leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. “Hi,” he said. “I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“Hi,” Cas said, and kissed him back, a little deeper this time.

“Okay, well now that we’ve gotten that out of our systems, at least for the time being,” Dean said. “Wanna make a stop at your place?”

“Yes please,” Cas said, getting into the passenger side of the Impala. “I’ll feel much better after I shower.”

They chatted easily on the short drive back to Cas’ house, swapping stories from their weeks so far. Cas was pleased to note that the easy intimacy between them hadn’t faded. It was easy to talk to Dean, and easy to listen to him as well.

When they arrived at the house, they found Gabriel in the kitchen, working on something that smelled delicious. 

“Hello, Gabriel,” Cas said. “What are you making?”

“Tomato and sausage risotto,” Gabriel replied, then turned around and registered Dean’s presence. ‘You didn’t tell me you were bringing a friend home after school, young man!”

“Ignore him, please,” Cas said to Dean. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

He was actually pleased that Gabriel was there to entertain Dean while he showered and got ready to go out. It would be a good chance for the two of them to get to know each other, which mattered to Cas. If he and Dean were going to be together for any length of time, he wanted him to be on good terms with his brother, the same way he hoped to someday meet Sam and make a good impression on him.

Once he was refreshed and groomed, Cas headed back to the kitchen, relieved to note that Dean and Gabriel hadn’t murdered each other in his absence. In fact, they were chatting quite amiably, Dean sitting at the kitchen table while Gabriel leaned against the stove, occasionally stirring his risotto. 

“All better now,” Cas said as he entered the kitchen.

Dean turned to grin at him. “You might not have needed to put in the effort,” he said. “Gabriel’s offered to leave us the risotto and head out for the evening. We can have a quiet night in, if you want. Or we can still go out.”

Cas turned to look suspiciously at his brother. “And what is the price of this unexpected offer?” he asked.

“What, a guy can’t do something nice for his brother now and then?” Gabe asked, trying to look innocent. 

“That’s not your usual style, no,” Cas said. 

Gabriel sighed. “Okay, fine, you caught me. This was going to be a bribe dinner for you and me anyways, so now I’ve just taken the opportunity to sweeten the pot. I need your help on Saturday. We’ve got a huge order to fill for this company picnic, and a few of my team had already booked the day off, so I need extra hands, even if it’s just sticking toppers into cupcakes and putting them in boxes.”

“So you finish cooking, then leave the house for the evening, and I help you out on Saturday?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Cas stuck out his hand. “Deal,” he said, and his brother shook it. 

“I feel like I should come help out on Saturday as well,” Dean chimed in. “Since I’m benefitting from this situation here tonight as well.”

“I wouldn’t say no that,” Gabriel said. “You look like you could lift some bags of flour, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m a half-decent baker too,” Dean said. “If I’m being modest.”

“Okay, you’re hired,” Gabriel said. “Now go hold hands in the living room or whatever, I’ll call you guys when this is done and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Dean grinned and stood up, offering his hand to Castiel. “He said to hold hands.”

Cas laughed and accompanied Dean into the other room, where they settled onto the couch, Cas sitting with his legs across Dean’s lap and his face buried in his shoulder. 

“You’re cuddly today,” Dean said, running his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Long day at work?”

“Not more so than usual,” Cas replied. “I’m just happy to see you, I guess. You’re very comfortable.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“It’s a good thing. I’m used to snuggling with my cat, so I’m his pillow. It’s nice to have someone else to lean on for once.”

“Where is the little monster?” Dean asked. 

“Good question. Probably hiding somewhere, but don’t be too surprised if he joins us eventually. He couldn’t pass up this much stationary body heat.”

“This is pretty nice,” Dean said, tightening his arms around Cas. “I might fall asleep, though.”

“Gabe’ll wake us,” Cas said.

Dean made a noise of agreement, and the conversation trailed off. The next thing Cas knew, Gabriel was standing over them with a look on his face that was half amusement, half disdain. 

“Hey, Sleeping Beauties,” he said. “Thought you might want to know, your dinner’s ready. I’m heading out. I’ll be back around 11, but I’ll text you when I’m on my way so you don’t get caught in any compromising positions.”

“Thanks, Gabriel,” Cas said softly. His brother saluted him and left, closing the door gently behind him. 

“Dean,” Cas said, smoothing the other man’s hair back from his forehead, “dinner’s ready, if you want to get up.”

Dean opened his eyes and smiled at Cas. He looked breathtakingly beautiful in that moment, softened by sleep, and the green of his eyes took Cas by surprise with its intensity. “Not many things would be worth getting up for,” he said, “but that risotto is definitely one of them.”

Cas dropped a kiss onto Dean’s cheek. “Let’s go enjoy it, then,” he said. 

Entering the kitchen, Cas let out a small gasp of surprise. Gabriel had taken advantage of their nap to set the table with the good dishes, and a pair of candles were flickering in the centre of the table. A bottle of wine rested beside them. The small kitchen was transformed into something more cozy and romantic than any restaurant in town. 

Dean whistled. “This is nice,” he said. “Gabe should start a side-business, setting up dates in people’s homes for them. He’s got the cooking and the presentation down.”

“I’m quite touched,” Cas said. “Though part of me wishes this was something I had done for you myself.”

Dean rubbed his arm comfortingly. “I’m just happy to be sharing this with you,” he said. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Cas served them both a generous helping of the risotto, and they sat down to enjoy it, their chairs close enough that their legs could touch as they ate. 

“This is delicious,” Dean said after a few bites. “I’m gonna have to get the recipe.”

“You like to cook?” Cas asked.

“Yeah. I don’t do it all the time, cause sometimes I’m too tired after work, but on weekends especially, I love to mess around in the kitchen.”

“I’m not a very good cook,” Cas admitted. “Possibly because Gabe’s always been around to do it, and he enjoys it so much more than I do.”

“What’s your favourite food?”

“I know it sounds boring, but cheeseburgers. There’s so many different ways to make them, and I like them all.”

“Hey, I love me a good cheeseburger,” Dean said. “Guess I picked a good place for our first date, then, huh?”

“Yes, I was very happy with it,” Cas said. “Though tonight makes a compelling argument for staying in as well.”

“Yeah, I like going out to eat, trying different places sometimes, but I’m a bit of a homebody unless it’s for a big event,” Dean said. “Someone’s birthday, or a promotion, or an engagement party, I’m there with bells on. But most of the time I’d rather just hang out at home, with people or without.”

“I’m pretty much the same way, which is funny, considering how we ran into each other at The Roadhouse,” Cas said. 

“It’s not that I won’t go out, just that I don’t feel like I have to in order to have a good time.”

“I think we’re proving that right now,” Cas said, deliberately bumping Dean’s foot with his own under the table. 

“I get the feeling we’re going to have a different kind of good time in just a little while,” Dean said slyly.

Cas leaned over and ran one finger down the side of Dean’s neck. “You can count on it,” he said. 

\-----------

The tension between them had been building all through their (delicious) dinner, and by the time their plates were clear and the wine bottle was empty, Dean was definitely ready to move on to more intimate activities. Judging by the way Cas was looking at him across the table, he wasn’t the only one. 

‘We should probably clean up in here before we get too distracted,” Cas said. “It would be pushing the limits of our agreement to make Gabe do it when he gets home.”

“You’re probably right,” Dean said. 

They worked quickly, loading up the dishwasher, wiping down the table and counters, and taking the empty wine bottle out to be recycled. When everything was tidy and clean, there was a slightly awkward moment where they just stood there staring at each other. Then Cas smiled and backed Dean up against the counter, crowding in close to him.

“This might be a little bit forward of me,” he said. “But if you’re not opposed to the idea, I would suggest we retire to my bedroom. Much more comfortable than the couch.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Dean replied. “I have pretty good memories of that couch. But I also like the idea of a nice big bed to stretch out in.”

“Right this way, then,” Cas said, leading Dean up the stairs to his bedroom. It was a nice room, the walls painted medium grey, but Dean was mostly interested in the queen-sized bed with its dark blue comforter and wide assortment of throw pillows.

“That is a very nice bed,” Dean said. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

“Good,” Cas said. “I hope you two have a long and happy friendship.”

Dean was pretty sure he wasn’t just talking about the bed, and there was the slightest hint of uncertainty in Cas’ voice. Dean did his best to reassure Cas by kissing him, trying to put all of his affection for the man into that one gesture. It seemed to work, because Cas relaxed against him, kissing back with equal intensity. 

As their kisses grew more heated, Cas backed them up until they were level with the bed, then pulled Dean with him so that they were stretched out together, Dean above Cas. Dean’s hands were occupied keeping himself balanced over Cas, but Cas’ hands were everywhere, roaming over Dean’s body. They found the edge of Dean’s shirt, then paused, clearly waiting for Dean’s permission to remove it. Dean nodded against Cas’ lips, and then his shirt was gone, and Cas’ hands were on his bare back, lighting it up with pleasure. 

“You too, Cas,” Dean said, rolling off him for a brief minute so that Cas could lose his shirt as well. As soon as it was out of the way, Dean was back on him, and the skin-on-skin contact was even more incredible. Dean trailed his lips along Cas’ jawline, loving the feel of his stubble, and down his neck, which made Cas shiver in a very distracting way. He sat back slightly so that he could kiss his way across Cas’ collarbone and then lower, just barely brushing his lips across Cas’ nipple. Cas moaned and clutched at Dean’s side, so he repeated the action, then applied slightly more pressure, loving the noises it drew from Cas. 

“Dean,” Cas panted.

“Yeah, babe?” Dean said.

“I would really like to be naked with you,” Cas said bluntly.

Dean grinned down at him. “I think I would like that very much as well,” he said. He sat up and removed his own jeans, then helped Cas do the same, leaving them both in their underwear. “I wanna draw this out a little more though first, okay?” he said. 

“Of course,” Cas said. Their boxers were thin enough that Dean could feel the hard line of Cas’ erection against his hip, so he thrust forward slightly, relishing the friction. Cas copied his movement, and they rutted against each other slowly for a few minutes, kissing almost lazily, enjoying the anticipation. After a few minutes, Cas stopped Dean with a hand to his chest. Dean stilled immediately, wondering what he had done wrong. 

“It’s okay,” Cas said, correctly interpreting the look on his face. “Just give a few minutes, okay?” he said, sliding out from under Dean and getting off the bed. “I promise, it’s fine.” He smiled down at Dean, then left the room, and Dean heard a door close down the hall. 

Dean leaned back against the pillows and tried not to worry too much. Maybe Cas just had to pee and didn’t want to say so outright. Dean was pretty sure that if Cas did have concerns about what they were doing, he would bring them up. The guy had been pretty direct about what he wanted so far. 

After five minutes passed, Dean debated going in search of Cas, just to check on him. He wanted to respect his need for privacy, but he didn’t want to be insensitive either. Just as he sat up, he heard the door open down the hall, and then Cas was walking back into the bedroom. 

With the way the light was coming in from the hallway, Dean couldn’t read his expression clearly. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

Cas smiled, and that much Dean could see. “I’m sorry if I worried you,” he said, coming to stand in front of Dean. “I just had a sudden thought, and, well,” he gestured to himself, “decided to act on it.”

Now that the light was better, Dean could see exactly what Cas had excused himself for. His eyes were ringed in black eyeliner, emphasizing their colour and highlighting the angles of his face. Dean felt himself harden even further at the sight. Noticing Dean’s awestruck expression, Cas smirked, then held out his hands, showing Dean the black polish on his nails.

“How the hell did you have time to do that?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“Quick dry nail polish is a miracle of modern science,” Cas said. “You like?”

“That’s an understatement,” Dean muttered. Dean had had a healthy appreciation of guys wearing eyeliner ever since Johnny Depp swaggered onto the screen in Pirates of the Caribbean, and the nail polish was a delightful bonus. 

Still standing in front of Dean, Cas stroked his hands down his own chest, the dark polish on his nails standing out against his skin. He toyed with the edge of his boxers, then asked Dean, “Mind if I take these off?”

“Please,” Dean said. “Please do.”

Cas slowly pulled his boxers down, revealing his hard length, and when he ran one black-tipped finger across it, Dean thought he might spontaneously combust. This was one of the hottest things he had ever seen in his life, and he had seen a lot. 

“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Cas said, stroking himself slowly. “I find I enjoy the image.”

“Yeah, it’s good,” Dean said, his mouth dry.

Cas suddenly stopped stroking himself and dropped to his knees in front of Dean, placing those perfect hands on his hips. “Can I take yours off too?”

Dean nodded frantically. Cas grinned at him, then peeled Dean’s boxers off, leaving them both naked. Then Cas’ hand was on Dean’s dick, and the physical sensation combined with the image of his dark nails was enough to make Dean almost come right then and there. Cas stroked him a few more times, and Dean closed his eyes for a second, willing himself to hold out. 

Of course, that was the exact moment that Cas leaned forward and took Dean into his mouth. Dean’s eyes flew open in shocked pleasured, and he let out a noise that could best be described as a whimper. Cas still had one hand on Dean’s cock, gripping him near the base as he used his lips and tongue on the rest of it. The black eyeliner made Cas’ eyes look huge as he stared directly at Dean while going down on him with enthusiasm. Dean raised one hand and rested it on Cas’ head, and when he nodded, Dean tightened his grip on that dark hair, desperate for something to ground himself. Christ. This was definitely the hottest thing Dean had ever seen. 

“Cas,” he said, struggling to find words. “Touch yourself for me. Want you to.”

Cas brought his other hand down to his cock and started jacking himself. Dean didn’t know where to look, at Cas’ hands on himself or at his own dick sliding slowly in and out of Cas’ mouth. He felt like he was going to explode. 

“Gonna come,” he warned, but Cas only redoubled his efforts. He drew back and sucked gently on the head of Dean’s cock, and that was it. Dean stiffened, his hand still clutching at Cas’ hair, and emptied himself down his throat. Cas made an appreciative noise and swallowed it all, his hand moving even faster on his cock. Barely thirty seconds later, while Dean was still catching his breath, Cas groaned and came all over his hand. Dean caught a glimpse of his black nails spattered with the evidence of Cas’ orgasm and thought he might pass out. Surely, this was heaven. 

Cas seemed similarly winded, though he was able to at least perform basic clean-up, wiping his hands with a tissue then pushing Dean back on the bed and lying down beside him.

“Was that okay?” he asked almost shyly.

Dean turned to face him, looking at him in surprise. “Cas,” he said, “that was one of the most incredibly hot things I have ever experienced. Possibly the most incredibly hot thing.”

Cas blushed, but he snuggled in closer, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I certainly enjoyed it. I just got worried for a second that it was a bit early to be bringing out the kinky stuff.”

“Maybe for some people,” Dean said. “But I dunno. I’m comfortable with you.”

“I feel the same,” Cas said. “When I did this look more consistently, I got a lot of narrow-minded commentary. Make-up is for girls, blah blah blah. But you responded positively when I mentioned it, and I just ran with it. I didn’t worry about you reacting badly. Somehow I knew you wouldn’t.”

“Trust me, I am well aware that you are not a girl, even with that stuff on. It’s not some sort of feminization thing. It just makes you look really, really good.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean lightly. “I bet you would look good in it too,” he said mischievously. 

“Maybe someday,” Dean laughed. 

They rested together for a little while longer, enjoying the closeness. Dean hadn’t been exaggerating when he said he felt comfortable with Cas. As much fun as the sex had been, this was equally nice. Dean glanced over at the clock on the bedside table, sighing when he saw that it was just after ten.

“I really don’t want to,” Dean said, “but I should probably head out.”

Cas raised his head to look at him. “You’re welcome to stay,” he said.

It was very tempting. Cas’ bed was really comfortable, and it would be nice to fall asleep next to someone again. But Dean had to be at work the next morning, and he hadn’t planned to stay over, so he would have to stop him in the morning before going in to the shop, which would mean getting up very early.

“I have to work tomorrow,” he said, stroking Cas’ back. “Otherwise, I would.”

“I understand,” Cas said. He stood up and put his boxers back on, then helped Dean locate his clothing, which had ended up in various corners of the room. Once Dean was dressed, they went back downstairs, and kissed for a few minutes in the entranceway. Finally, Dean tore himself away.

“Goodnight, Cas,” he said. “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay? And let’s get together again soon.”

“I look forward to it,” Cas said. “Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean drove back to his apartment, replaying the evening in his mind. It had been pretty much perfect. God, Dean would be jerking off to memories of Cas in eyeliner and nail polish for years. Once home, he showered quickly, put on his pyjamas, and threw himself into bed. He felt reasonably confident that he would have good dreams that night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that happened. Like Dean, I have a long-standing fondness for Captain Jack Sparrow, and also Davey Havok of AFI, who both look very fetching in eyeliner. I hope that wasn't too much for anyone? 
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you thought! I'm going away for the weekend sans computer but the next chapter is written so it should be posted when I get back, probably Monday or Tuesday!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief warning, this chapter contains discussion of a fire (no serious injuries result) and briefly touches on Dean having fire-related nightmares, mostly in the past.

The next two weeks passed extremely pleasantly for Cas. He and Dean saw each two or three times a week, depending on their schedules, and with each date, Cas felt himself falling even further. They honoured their agreement to help Gabriel on his busy day, and Cas still smiled at the memory of Dean wearing an apron that he brought from his own kitchen (plaid, of course). They went to movies, tried a few new restaurants, and went for a particularly memorable ride in the Impala that started out with innocent stargazing and turned into not-so-innocent activities in the backseat. 

It wasn’t just the physical chemistry that kept Cas coming back for more, though. He genuinely liked Dean. He liked his humour, his sense of playfulness, his obvious devotion to his family, both biological and chosen. He liked the way Dean complimented him so easily without it feeling like false flattery, his eyes and his hands being particularly admired. He liked the way Dean was comfortable with Gabriel, and the way he started taking allergy medicine on a regular basis to allow him to bond with Faithful. 

Yes, Cas often thought, this was one of the good guys. The kind people referred to as a keeper. 

It was a Friday night, and Cas was supposed to be going over to Dean’s for a cozy night in. Dean had promised to cook for them, but the menu was a surprise. He had requested that Cas bring something of Gabriel’s for dessert, though, so that he could focus on the main course. Gabriel had presented Cas with a number of options, but he opted for a maple pecan pie, figuring that it was simple enough to work with anything. 

Dean had offered to pick him up, but Cas got Gabriel to drive him instead so that Dean could focus on dinner. It was only about a ten-minute drive to Dean’s apartment, so Cas only had to sit through a few dozen of Gabriel’s jokes about bartering pie for sexual favours. He loved his brother, really, but only about half of his attempts at humour were actually funny.

Once inside the building, Cas pressed the buzzer for the apartment listed under D. Winchester/C. Bradbury, and after a second, the door unlocked to let him through. He took the elevator up to the sixth floor, and located the correct unit at the end of the hall. He was about to lift his hand to knock when the door suddenly opened, revealing Charlie on the other side, clearly dressed to go out.

“Hello, Charlie,” Cas said politely. 

“Hey, Cas!” Charlie said. “Come on in, Dean’s in the kitchen, and I’m just on my way out.”

“I hope you don’t think we’re kicking you out,” Cas said, bending down to remove his shoes.

“Nah, I’m going to my girlfriend’s house anyways,” Charlie said with a wink. “She lives alone, so it works out well for everyone.”

“Have fun, then,” Cas said.

“You too!” Charlie replied, and then she was out the door. 

Cas followed his nose to the kitchen, where Dean was assembling something in a large casserole dish. “That smells good,” he said.

Dean turned around and grinned at him. “Hey, handsome,” he said. “Grab a seat, I’m just gonna pop this in the oven. Should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

“Am I allowed to know what it is yet?” Cas asked, sitting down at the table, which was already set. 

“Butter chicken poutine,” Dean announced proudly. “Don’t worry, I made a salad too.”

“I’m confused,” Cas said. “I understand butter chicken, and I sort of understand poutine, but together?”

“Don’t knock it until you try it,” Dean said. 

“I trust you,” Cas said. 

Dean laughed and came to stand beside him, leaning down to hug him briefly. “How was your week?” he asked.

“Boring,” Cas replied. “It’s a dull time of year until things pick up for the holiday season. A few high school students needing things for independent study projects, or one of those simplified Shakespeare books, but that’s about it.”

“No nasty customers lately?”

“Fortunately, no.”

“Me neither, actually. Huh. People must be in a good mood all around.”

“Long may it last,” Cas said solemnly. 

Dean checked his watch. “Alright, that should be about done,” he said, pulling out a pair of oven mitts and taking the poutine out of the oven. “Pass me your plate and I’ll serve this up.”

Once both their plates were filled, they sat back down at the table. Cas took a tentative bite of the poutine, then made an appreciative noise.

“Good, right?” Dean said around a mouthful of his own. “I told you to trust me.”

“This is delicious,” Cas replied. “I will never doubt you in matters of food again.”

“Hey, speaking of, what’d you bring for dessert?” Dean asked.

“After much deliberation, a maple pecan pie,” Cas said, and Dean’s eyes lit up in excitement.

“Guess I’d better save room, then,” he said. “Love me some pie.”

“Yes, I know,” Cas said, looking at him fondly. “That was mostly why I chose it.”

“Wise man.”

Once they had finished eating, they moved to the living room for a bit of a rest before having coffee and dessert. Cas took a seat on one side of the couch, and Dean stretched out along it with his head in Cas’ lap. Cas idly ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“You do that a lot,” Dean commented.

Cas paused. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Do you not like it?”

“Nah, it’s nice,” Dean said. “I sometimes wonder if you’re getting me mixed up with your cat, though.”

“I haven’t heard you purring yet, though you have come close,” Cas teased. “You’re probably right, though. I’m more used to being around my cat than I am most other people.”

“Could be worse,” Dean mused. “You could have a pet snake or something. Urgh. I don’t like snakes.”

“Nor do I,” Cas said. “If I didn’t have a cat, I would like a guinea pig, I think.”

Dean laughed. “I can picture it,” he said. ‘No dogs?”

“I don’t mind dogs, but my work schedule is too erratic to care for one properly, I think. And Gabriel’s not fond of them.”

“Sam loves dogs,” Dean said. “I bet you the minute he moves out the dorms and into his own place he’ll be down at the local shelter finding some mutt to adopt.”

“I got Faithful from the shelter. Nobody wanted him because he’s all black. Black cats have the hardest time getting adopted.”

“Really? People still believe that bad luck thing?”

“Apparently so. It worked out well for me though.”

“Yeah, even I can admit he’s a pretty cool little furball.”

Something inside Cas melted at the affection in Dean’s tone when he talked about the cat, and he leaned down to kiss him gently. 

“What was that for?” Dean asked.

“Just for being you,” Cas replied. 

“Well, don’t start something you don’t plan on finishing,” Dean said, rotating himself on the couch so that he was more or less straddling Cas. In that position, it was much easier for the two of them to kiss. It started out casual, but as it always did with the two of them, quickly turned intense. 

All of a sudden, Dean pulled back and cocked his head to the side. “Do you hear that?” he asked.

Cas listened intently for a second. “Is that your phone?” he asked.

“Damnit,” Dean said. He reluctantly climbed off Cas and walked off down the hall, presumably to his bedroom, which Cas had not yet seen. Cas didn’t hear anything for a few minutes, and he had just stood up to go check on him when Dean stepped back into the living room, his face pale.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Cas asked. 

“It’s Sam,” Dean said, his voice thick with emotion.

Oh no. Cas imagined all the things that could possibly go wrong for a college freshman on a Friday night, and the list was incredibly long.

“Is he...okay?” Cas asked tentatively. Dean looked like he was about to keel over, so Cas stepped forward to lead him back to the couch, but Dean stopped him with a raised hand.

“You should go,” Dean said quietly.

“Please, Dean, whatever it is, let me help,” Cas pleaded. 

Dean shook his head. “I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. We always are, me and Sam. Just the two of us.”

“I care about you, Dean, and Sam by extension,” Cas said. “Isn’t there any way I can help? Let me be here for you.”

“You should go,” Dean repeated. “I’m sorry, Cas, I am, but I can’t handle this right now. Please, just leave.”

Cas hesitated for a moment longer, but Dean had already turned and retreated to his bedroom. Obviously, Cas had been dismissed. He still didn’t even know exactly what the situation was. If Sam was hurt or in some sort of serious trouble, Dean probably would have been getting ready to get on a place to California, and that didn’t seem to be the case. He waited a few minutes, but Dean didn’t emerge from the other room. Cas wished he had Charlie’s number so that he could let her know what was going on. Maybe she would be able to get through to Dean. He hoped she would be home soon, because he didn’t want Dean to be alone, but he knew he had to leave. He couldn’t intrude when Dean had repeatedly told him to leave.

Figuring that it was worth one more try, he knocked softly on Dean’s closed door. He could hear the other man speaking softly inside, but he didn’t open the door. Cas sighed and gathered his things. He shut the apartment door behind him, then sent a text to Gabriel, asking him to come pick him up. He had been hoping that he wouldn’t need a ride home that night, that this would be the first time he and Dean would spend the whole night together, but that wasn’t going to be the case now. 

Cas only had to wait outside the building for a few minutes before he saw his brother’s car pull up. “What’s up?” Gabe asked as he got in. “Somebody get food poisoning? Wasn’t expecting you to be coming home tonight.”

“Neither was I,” Cas said. “I hoped not to be, anyways.”

Gabriel turned the car around and headed back towards their house. “Wanna talk about it?” he offered, uncharacteristically sincere. 

“Everything was fine, and then Dean got an upsetting phone call. Something about his younger brother, who’s at school in California. But he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and I tried to be supportive, but he just told me to leave, then shut himself in his bedroom.”

“That’s harsh,” Gabriel commented. “But people get protective of family. You can’t really blame him for not thinking clearly.”

“It’s not that, exactly,” Cas said. “I just wish he would let me help him in some way, even if it was just staying with him while he made necessary calls. It felt like I was being forced out of his life, when that’s the exact opposite of what I wanted.”

“Cas,” Gabriel said gently, “you guys have only been seeing each other for a few weeks, right? Not quite a month? He probably doesn’t want to dump his problems on you, or he’s scared that he’ll chase you away.”

“But I offered!” Cas protested.

“I know, bro,” Gabe said as they pulled into their driveway. “But if he didn’t want you there, you did the right thing in leaving. Maybe you can send him a text, let him know you’re available if he wants to talk, but you can’t force him to lean on you.”

Cas knew that his brother was right, but it didn’t make things any easier. He just wanted to be there for Dean, to show him that he cared, to prove to him that he wasn’t alone. If only Dean would let him. 

\-----------

When he first heard his phone ringing, Dean had been tempted to ignore it. He was really enjoying the make-out session he and Cas were currently involved in, and he didn’t want to interrupt it. But he also knew that very few people bothered to call him anymore, especially after work hours. Usually they just sent a text. Which pretty much guaranteed that the phone call was important.

And it was. When he heard the unfamiliar female voice on the other end of the line, Dean assumed it was a wrong number. But then she said her name was Jessica Moore, and that she was Sam’s girlfriend. And suddenly Dean’s heart sank. There was no good reason for Jess to be calling him all the way from California. And he could tell by her tone that something was wrong. 

As it turned out, there had been a fire in Sam’s dorm. He was okay, Jess was quick to assure him. Just a little bit of smoke inhalation from staying inside too long, trying to help others out of the building. Since he needed to rest his voice, he had asked Jess to call Dean on his behalf. He thanked her, and hung up the phone.

Why did it have to be a fire, Dean thought to himself. He knew Sam was too young to remember anything about the fire that killed their mother, but Dean had had nightmares for months after it happened. On very rare occasions, he still did. He was so damn grateful that Sam was okay, but he still felt shaken by the knowledge, the inescapable fact that you might never be safe from that kind of accident. 

He returned to the living room, and Cas was trying his hardest to be supportive, but Dean couldn’t summon the energy to be a good host. He was too rattled. He told Cas to leave. He just wanted to be alone. Without even checking to see if Cas had listened to him or not, he went back to his bedroom and shut the door. Some distant part of his brain knew that he was being cruel, that there were better ways to handle this situation, but the rest of him was still thinking about fires, and how much he could have lost. “I can’t lose Sam too,” Dean said to himself. He thought he heard a light knock on his door, but he didn’t answer it, and a few minutes later, he heard the apartment door close behind Cas.

Dean curled up on his bed, pulling a blanket over himself. Suddenly, he heard his phone ringing again, and he leaped up to grab it, fearing that something else had gone wrong. It was Sam’s number displayed on the screen.

“Sam?” he said into the phone. He could hear the panic in his own voice.

“Hi, Dean,” his brother’s voice came over the line, weak and scratchy, but unmistakably Sam. 

“You’re supposed to be resting your voice,” Dean said. “Jess told me. Did something else happen? Is Jess okay?”

Sam laughed, but it turned into a cough. “We’re fine” he said. “Doc gave me the all clear. I knew you would be freaking out, so I wanted to talk to you myself.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Dean said. “I’m just worried about you.”

“We worry about each other. It’s what we do.”

“So what happened, anyways?” Dean asked. 

“Some idiots left the stove on in one of the communal kitchens,” Sam said. “A lot of people were out for the night, so no one noticed it for awhile. It started a fire, a pretty big one. Nobody’s seriously hurt though. Mostly just like me, breathed in a little bit of smoke.”

Dean was glad to hear that there had been no serious injuries, but he was still feeling a bit rattled by the whole story.

“Jess said you were helping other people get out,” he commented.

“A lot of ‘em had been drinking,” Sam said. “Started freaking out, you know. Somebody had to get things organized.”

“Isn’t that what firefighters are there for?”

“The more the merrier,” Sam said. “But really, how are you doing? I know you still have a tough time with fires.”

There was no point trying to lie to Sam about it. He knew about the nightmares from when they were kids. That was why he was calling in the first place, to make sure Dean was okay, or that he would be, at least.

“Freaked out a bit,” he said. “Better now, though. Thanks for calling, Sammy, really. It does help knowing you’re okay, and that everyone else is.”

“You probably shouldn’t be alone,” Sam said. “Jess hasn’t left my side, and it’s nice having her here, even when I couldn’t talk much. You should ask Cas to come over.”

Dean winced. “He was here when Jess called, actually,” he admitted. “I told him to leave.”

“What the hell, Dean,” Sam said, sounding angry. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Dean sighed. “We were having a nice night, then this happened, and I just freaked out. I didn’t want to burden him, I guess.”

“That’s not how relationships work,” Sam said. “I’m willing to bet that he would have been happy to be there for you.”

“Yeah, he said as much,” Dean said. “But I wouldn’t let him.”

“Again, why not?”

Dean tried to think of the best way to explain himself. “We haven’t talked about it being a relationship, or put a label on it or anything,” he said. “And like I said last time we talked, I have a hard time with any kind of future-planning. It’s not that I’m treating Cas as a booty call or anything…”

“Except that you kind of are,” Sam interrupted him. “Dean, it doesn’t matter if you’ve put a label on it or not. Relationships happen whether you call them that or not. You can’t keep pretending this isn’t going anywhere with Cas if you keep seeing him, because that means that it is. If he wanted to stay with you tonight, he’s obviously invested. Why won’t you let yourself be too?”

“Because I’m scared!” Dean burst out. “I said it, okay, I’m scared. Scared that if I start to depend on him, I’ll get so wrapped up in the idea of us that I’ll lose everything else. I was supposed to be figuring out who I am without you, Sam, and the first thing I do is go and fall for this weird, dorky guy, who makes me want all the stuff I told myself I can’t have again.”

“You know you just said you fell for him, right?”

“Shit. I did, didn’t I?”

“You need to tell him, Dean. He’s probably really upset right now, wondering if he did something wrong, or if he’s been seeing this thing the wrong way.”

“Maybe we both need some space,” Dean said.

“I don’t think that’s what you need. I’m all for taking time to to figure out what you want, but that’s not what I think is going on here. I think you refuse to admit it, but deep down, you know you need this guy. And that’s okay, Dean. It doesn’t make you weak, or make you less of a complete person. Finding the person you want to be with is an extension of your own self-awareness.”

“Wow, Dr. Phil, that’s really deep.”

“Shut up. Seriously. Call him. Apologize. Maybe tell him what you just told me.”

“The part about being afraid of losing myself, or the part about falling for him?”

“Preferably both, if you can manage it.”

“I’ll do my best,” Dean said. “Just for you.”

“I want you to be happy, Dean,” Sam said. 

“Thanks, Sam,” Dean said. “You sure you’re gonna be okay? You just walked out of a fire and now here you are, playing therapist to me again.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. And so will you, if you follow my advice.”

“Okay. Get some rest. Love you, little brother.”

“You too, Dean.”

Dean ended the call, but he didn’t let go of the phone. While he had been talking to Sam, a text from Castiel had come through.

‘I understand if you don’t want to talk,’ it said. ‘But please let me know that you and Sam are okay.’

Dean immediately felt twice as guilty as before. Cas was clearly doing his best to be non-intrusive but also make it clear to Dean that he cared. Sam was right. He had been treating this more casually than it really was. As much as he showed Cas how much he liked him, how much he desired him, it was always within the timeframe of their dates. Dean enjoyed every minute that they shared, but he still saw each date as its own event. They hadn’t even spent a whole night together yet, because Dean kept establishing firm boundaries around their shared time. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t want more, just that he had convinced himself that he was safer playing it cool. He hoped it wasn’t too late to salvage the relationship that he and Cas had been building. It was time to take a risk, to lay out all his cards, and hope that Cas would forgive him.

First things first: he needed to reply to Cas’ message.

‘I’m sorry,’ he sent first. He wanted the apology to stand alone, to give it more impact.

‘I can explain first, but if you’re willing, I’d rather tell you in person,’ he wrote.

It didn’t take long for Cas to reply. ‘Thank you for getting back to me,’ he wrote.

Ouch. That was what people sent in business e-mails. Dean’s heart sank. He really had screwed this up. He started to type a longer reply, but another message from Cas came through first.

‘If you promise me that we are actually going to talk about this, you can come over,’ it said.

‘I promise,’ Dean sent back. ‘I’ll be there soon.’

‘Bring the pie,’ was Cas’ reply. Dean laughed despite himself. That was probably a good idea. Pie always helped, no matter the situation. 

Dean took a few minutes to tidy up the kitchen, but he knew he was stalling. You can do this, he told himself. Cas was worth it. He was worth the awkward conversation about feelings, and he was worth the potential heartbreak if things didn’t work out between them. 

Dean grabbed his jacket and the pie and left the apartment, locking up behind him. On the short drive to Cas’ house, he tried to practice what he would say, but it was hard to predict how the conversation would go without knowing how Cas was going to react. On the one hand, he had invited Dean to come over, but on the other, his tone hadn’t been overly warm. Sam must have been right, he was probably pretty hurt by Dean kicking him out like that. Dean resolved to apologize for that specifically, along with a blanket apology for his skittishness about their relationship. 

He arrived at Cas’ house, and pulled into the driveway beside Gabriel’s car. He hoped he wouldn’t encounter Cas’ brother, at least not right away. As an older brother himself, he was pretty sure Gabriel would be righteously pissed at him right now. Dean swallowed nervously and knocked lightly on the door.

Fortunately, it was Cas, not Gabriel, who opened it. 

“Hi,” Dean said, feeling like an idiot. “I uh, brought the pie.”

Was that the faintest trace of a smile on Cas’ lips?

“Come in,” Cas said, stepping back to allow Dean into the house. He led him into the living room, but instead of sitting on the couch beside him, Cas took a seat in one of the armchairs. That deliberate action felt like a slap in the face to Dean, but he understood why Cas did it. He was just trying to protect himself by putting some literal distance between them, the same thing Dean had been doing in a more abstract way. Once Cas was settled, he looked directly at Dean.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate conflict so much, you guys. I almost didn't include any at all, but I thought that might be boring. Don't worry, this is a happy story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of fire and resulting nightmare again. Also, uh, more E-rated stuff and things. Check the tags.

At the sight of Dean standing on his front porch, holding their uneaten pie, looking like a kicked puppy, most of Cas’ worry and anger melted away. Dean could easily have left his text unanswered, but here he was, putting in the effort even in a difficult situation. Cas had no intention of completely letting him off the hook, though. Instead, he invited Dean inside, and when they sat down in the living room, he deliberately put some physical distance between them. He knew that if he sat too close to Dean, he might get distracted from the conversation they desperately needed to have. 

“We’ve got a lot to talk about,” Cas said.

“Before anything else, I just want to say that I’m sorry,” Dean said, uncharacteristically quiet. “I shouldn’t have kicked you out like that, especially without any information. It would have been rude to any guest, but it was also unfair to you as my...whatever we are to each other.”

“I accept your apology,” Cas said, hating how stiff and formal he sounded. “But please, will you tell me what happened, before we continue to talk about us? Is Sam okay?”

“There was a fire at his dorm,” Dean explained. “Nobody was seriously hurt, just some kids who left the stove on, you know? Anyways, Sam was being the hero like he always is, helping people out of the building, so he was inside longer than he should have been, and his throat was pretty messed up from the smoke. When my phone rang, it was his girlfriend Jess calling, and you know it’s always bad news when you got a call from your little brother’s girlfriend who you’ve never even met.”

“I can imagine,” Cas said. He knew exactly how panicked he would be to receive such a phone call about Gabriel. “I don’t mean to be rude, but once you knew that Sam was alright, weren’t you relieved?”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Of course I was. But Cas, do you remember me telling you how my mom died in a fire?”

Cas felt like an idiot. An insensitive, self-centered, jackass of an idiot. It wasn’t just this fire. It was a fire almost twenty years ago that had prompted this reaction from Dean.

“Oh, Dean,” he said, “I’m so stupid. God, I’m so stupid. And sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Dean said. “But I don’t have a good track record with fires. Used to have nightmares about ‘em as a kid, sometimes I still do. So even though I knew Sam was okay, it was still tough for me to hear that he had been involved in one again, you know?”

“Of course.”

“So, then Sam calls me, even though he’s supposed to be resting his voice, cause he’s too smart for his own good and he knew that I would be freaking out. And we talked for a bit and it was good, really helped to hear his voice even though he was coughing every five seconds. We had a good talk. About you, actually.”

“Me?” Cas asked. “After all that he went through, why on earth would you and Sam be talking about me?”

“Because he’s the best person I know, and he is also an annoyingly nosy little brother,” Dean said fondly. “He was trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be alone, and when I told him that I basically kicked you out, he tore me a new one.”

“Oh,” was all Cas could manage. “So, what, you brother knocked some sense into you via telephone and now you’re here?”

“Pretty much.”

So was Dean here because he wanted to be, or because Sam had made him feel guilty?

“Dean,” Cas said carefully, “I do believe that your apology was sincere, and I’m glad you told me exactly what happened tonight, because it certainly helps explain your behaviour. I’m just not sure that it excuses it.”

“I know,” Dean started to say, but Cas held up a hand to stop him.

“Please, just let me finish,” Cas said, and Dean fell silent. “I know we haven’t been seeing each other for very long in the grand scheme of things. I know I’m probably moving too fast. But Dean, seeing that look on your face tonight, after you first talked to Jess, all I knew was that I needed to do whatever I could to help you. And that I hoped you would do the same for me if the situation was reversed. But you wouldn’t let me. And that hurt, terribly.”

“God, I’m such a dick,” Dean said. “I know, Cas. I am sorry. I will keep saying it as long as I need to.”

Cas took a deep breath. He had known for some time now that he was deeply invested in this budding relationship. He also knew that he had a tendency to fall hard and fast for people, and that they didn’t always respond in kind. To put it simply, Cas was a romantic, and he was very fond of grand gestures and big speeches, both making them and receiving them. This was the moment he had been waiting for. The opportune moment. The chance to lay it all on the line. It was scary as hell.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, Dean, not anymore,” he said. “I just need you to either be in or be out.”

Dean looked at him for a moment, as though debating what to say. Cas felt something brush against his foot and he jumped in alarm, but it was just Faithful twining around his ankles. He picked the cat up, glad to have something to hold onto in this moment, to help keep him grounded.

“I’m in,” Dean said. “How could I not be?”

Cas could feel his heart beating incredibly fast. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I need you to be sure. I’m not naive, I know that nothing is perfect, I know that we’ll fight and be grumpy with each other sometimes. I just need to know that if we do this, if we’re together, that you won’t shut me out like that again. When you’re hurt, I need you to let me in.”

Dean made a small movement, as though he was about to rise from his seat, but then stopped himself. “I’m sure,” he said. “You’re right, it won’t be perfect, because nothing ever is, and I sure as hell ain’t perfect. I can’t promise you that I won’t fuck up again, because that’s kind of my thing, but I can promise you that I will try.”

Dean stopped, looking like he was gathering his thoughts. Cas didn’t want to interrupt him, so he stayed silent, petting Faithful gently.

“That’s what Sam and I talked about, actually,” Dean said. “I haven’t been treating you very well, Cas, and how I acted tonight was part of that.”

Cas was confused by this statement. Other than earlier tonight, he’d had no complaints about the way Dean acted around him. All of their dates had been fun, Dean always texted back within a reasonable time frame, he didn’t cancel plans unexpectedly or stare at his phone while spending time with Cas. 

“He said I was treating this like a booty-call and not a relationship,” Dean explained. “I’ve got issues with long-term planning, after the way Lisa ended things with me. So even though I really like you, and I want to be with you, I kept telling myself not to count on it, not to plan for anything, because it felt like the future was outside of my control and I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

“And that’s different now?” Cas asked tentatively. He was a bit afraid of the answer. He knew the kind of scars that a bad break-up could leave on a person, particularly when it affected your sense of self the way it clearly had with Dean. 

“Yes,” Dean said firmly. “Like I said, I will still probably mess up. But I’m letting you in, Cas, and not just for today, but for as long as you’ll have me. I got so scared, thinking that I was running into this thing with you with my eyes closed, so I kept trying to pull back, to keep things to one date at a time, even though my feelings were way ahead of that. It scares me, Cas, but I’m gonna try anyways, because I don’t want to lose you.”

Cas willed himself not to cry. Dean looked so earnest, so absolutely desperate, the expression on his face a perfect encapsulation of exactly how Cas felt. He felt as though he should say something equally profound.

“Okay,” he said instead.

“Okay what?” Dean asked. Hesitant. But hopeful.

“I’m in, too,” Cas said. 

Dean’s mouth twisted into that familiar, beautiful smile. “You jump, I jump?” he quoted. 

“Preferably with fewer icebergs and sinking ships,” Cas said. 

“I love Titanic,” Dean said, voice lowered like he was telling a secret. “It makes me cry every time.”

“Me too,” Cas said.

They looked at each other for a minute.

“Fuck, am I gonna have to say it?” Dean asked. “Would you come over here and hug me now, please?” He spread his arms out invitingly.

Cas was out of his seat in a flash, sending Faithful toppling off his lap, much to the cat’s displeasure. He crossed the room and practically fell into Dean’s arms like one of the scantily-clad women on the covers of those paperback romance novels. And yes, he probably swooned a little bit when Dean wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Who could blame him?

Cas tipped his head back to get a better look at Dean’s face, trying to think of something to say. Instead, Dean leaned in and kissed him. Cas surrendered to it happily. They had talked enough for now, he thought to himself. Kissing was a much better use of their time at the moment.

There was something different about the way Dean kissed him now. He certainly had no complaints about the way they kissed before, but it was deeper now, more emotionally charged. They had both allowed themselves to be vulnerable tonight, and this was their reward for it. It was fantastic. Before, their kisses had been affectionate, desiring, curious, exploring- all the things kisses between two people who had only recently started kissing each other should be. But this was different, because now they were two people who had chosen to keep kissing each other, and who intended to continue to do so for a long time. 

They pulled away from each other briefly, and the expression on Dean’s face was something Cas had never seen before. He looked both completely happy and completely shocked about it. Cas laughed softly and kissed him again.

“I’m so glad Sam talked some sense into you,” he whispered into Dean’s ear.

“Hey,” Dean grumbled. “I would have figured it out on my own. Eventually.”

“See my point?”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up and kiss me again,” Dean said.

“Yes, sir,” Cas replied, and proceeded to do exactly that.

\-------------

Dean was really going to have to send Sam a fruit basket or something. As he had said to Cas, he would have figured it out on his own, but he knew that that it would have taken him a lot longer to get over himself and admit that this was exactly what he wanted. What he had wanted for a long time, actually. Almost as long as he had known Cas, which wasn’t actually that long at all. Dean willed himself to stop overthinking it and just enjoy the sensation of Cas in his arms again. 

During a brief pause that Dean only permitted because he knew they both needed to breathe, Cas smiled at him and said, “We’ve still got that pie to eat.”

“Celebratory pie?” Dean said. “I’m always up for that. But I had been thinking, if you wanted...maybe we could have it for breakfast instead?”

Cas blinked at him in confusion, and then slowly started to smile as he understood what Dean was trying to ask. 

“Dean, do you want to spend the night?” he said softly.

Dean was a little bit embarrassed that he couldn’t just say the words outright, but it was okay. Cas figured it out anyways. He always seemed to know what Dean was thinking. 

“Yeah, Cas, I do,” he said. 

The way Cas looked at him made Dean go all gooey inside. There was so much fondness in his eyes, but behind it, there was a look Dean was very familiar with: desire. Oh yeah, Cas was thinking about all the ways they could spend the night together. 

“I know I’ve already asked you to be more forthright with me than you usually are, ever,” Cas teased, “but I would like to push that a little farther here. When you say spend the night, do you mean we both go fall asleep cuddled together in my nice bed, or do you mean we go do things that might make that nice bed blush if it could? I’m fine with either, really, and I don’t want you to feel like we have to prove anything to each other physically.”

Dean smirked. “Cas, I always want you,” he said. “And I’m pretty sure you feel the same way about me.”

“So modest.”

“You’re not denying it,” Dean pointed out. “Let me be as blunt as I can possibly be: I would really like it if you took me upstairs and fucked me. You know, if you want to.”

The look on Cas’ face was priceless. It was the perfect combination of shock, lust, and mild disdain for Dean’s crude language. Dean couldn’t help but laugh. 

“So, what do you say?”

Instead of answering, Cas disentangled himself from Dean’s embrace and stood up, offering a hand to Dean to help him off the couch. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Less talking, more stair-climbing,” Cas said as they headed upstairs to the bedroom. They passed a closed door, and Dean was struck by a sudden thought. “Hey, wait, is Gabe home?”

Cas turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “He is. Are you really going to let that stop us?”

“Hell no,” Dean said. “Just kinda feel bad for the guy. I have a feeling we might get a bit loud.”

Cas considered this, then knocked on Gabe’s door. It opened a few seconds later, revealing his brother, wearing sleep pants and a disgruntled expression.

“What,” Gabriel said. “Oh, hey, the boy toy is here? You guys made up?”

“Yes,” Cas said simply. “And we’re going to have celebratory sex now, so you should probably put your headphones on.”

Gabriel saluted them. “Carry on,” he said, and closed the door.

Dean was slightly unnerved by the exchange. “Is that a normal interaction between you two?”

“Fairly standard procedure, yes,” Cas said. “It goes both ways, and it’s worked out well for us so far. Neither of us is ashamed about having sex, or about enjoying it.”

“Good to know,” Dean said, walking into Cas’ bedroom and tugging Cas in by the hand, then closing the door behind them. “Now we can be as loud as we want, huh.”

Cas had a wicked grin on his face that made Dean’s knees go weak. “Indeed,” he drawled. He sat down on the bed, and beckoned Dean over to him. Dean went immediately, standing in front of him and leaning down to kiss him.

As they kissed, Dean gradually lowered himself onto the bed and on top of Cas, who scooted backwards, moving further up the bed to give them more room. Cas’ hands lingered on Dean’s sides, stroking the skin over his hips, so Dean sat up and pulled his shirt off, allowing Cas more freedom to explore. Cas made an approving noise and wiggled out of his own shirt as well. Dean took a moment to admire the view. Cas’ torso was long and lean, and Dean had an overwhelming urge to explore it not just with his hands. He leaned down again, but instead of kissing Cas on the mouth, he trailed soft kisses across his chest and stomach, then sucked a mark right above one of those perfect hips. Cas moaned out loud as Dean repeated the action on the other hip. For symmetry’s sake. 

Cas’ hands were tugging at his pants now, trying to get them off, so Dean took pity on him and helped him pull them down, then tossed them into a corner of the room without looking. A few seconds later, his own joined them. He and Cas were both hard, and as much as Dean loved the image of Cas’ cock straining against his boxers, he wanted them both naked as quickly as possible. Cas seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he pulled his boxers off, prompting Dean to do the same. Then they were both naked, and they were kissing again, and Dean could feel Cas’ erection rubbing against his hip as they ground against each other. 

Dean wondered if this was the appropriate time to mention to Cas that technically speaking, he had never done this before. He’d had women finger him while sucking him off, and he was unashamed to admit that he owned several toys and used them fairly regularly, but he’d never had the opportunity to be with another guy in the way this was going. Part of him wanted not to say anything at all, but he knew communication was important, so he pulled off Cas for a second.

“Dean?” Cas said. “Is everything okay?” Even in the dim room, lit only by the lamp on the bedside table, Dean could see how blue his eyes were.

“It’s fine,” Dean said. “I uh, just figured this might be a good time to let you know. I’ve never done this before.”

“I sort of guessed,” Cas admitted. “Based on what you said about your limited experience with other men. But you seemed so sure that it was what you wanted. It’s okay if you’ve changed your mind.”

“No, no,” Dean said hurriedly. “Look, I’ve got a few toys at home that I am very well acquainted with. I know it’s not the same, but I’m pretty sure it will be even better. I just figured I should probably tell you.”

“We’ll go slow,” Cas said. “You're right, it's not the same as it with your toys, though I admit I find that image absolutely delightful. I plan to take you apart, slowly, Dean, but you need to know that you can tell me to stop at any time.”

“I know, Cas. I trust you.”

With a quick movement, Cas flipped them over so that Dean was underneath him. He leaned down and kissed him again, almost lazily, as his hands travelled down the length of Dean’s body, pausing to play with his nipples. Then Cas reached down and made a loose fist around Dean’s cock, stroking him slowly. Dean felt like he was going to lose his mind. This slowness was almost unbearable. He made a noise that would be best described as a whine, and Cas chuckled against his lips. 

“I know, sweetheart,” Cas said. “I know. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

Keeping that hand on Dean’s cock, Cas used the other to gently nudge Dean’s legs further apart, then he brought his hand lower and brushed just the tip of one finger over Dean’s hole. Dean groaned and widened his legs as far as possible, practically begging Cas to touch him like that again. Cas obliged, keeping his movements slow and gentle, just brushing over Dean’s rim without easing inside.

“Please, Cas,” Dean said, having difficulty forming the words. “More, please.”

Cas removed his hands, and Dean missed the contact immediately. He was pleased to see Cas leaning over to rummage in the bedside table, and even more pleased when he saw the lube and condoms he took out. Cas smiled down at him, squeezing the lube out over his fingers. He kissed Dean again, then gently eased a single finger into him. Dean’s eyes closed, overwhelmed by the sensation. 

“Good?” Cas asked.

“So good,” Dean replied. “Fuck yes, so good.”

Cas thrust his finger in and out slowly, then added another. There was a bit more of a stretch this time, but Dean loved the way it felt. Cas was watching with a rapt expression on his face as he crooked his fingers inside of Dean. Suddenly he found Dean’s sweet spot, and Dean’s whole body lit up with the pleasure of it. Cas repeated the movement, and Dean was reduced to a shuddering mess. He looked away from the spot where Cas’ fingers were moving inside of him to see that Cas had his other hand on his cock, jacking himself steadily. Dean whined again, reaching out to touch him, but Cas shook his head and pressed a third finger into him. That distracted Dean. His head fell back against the pillows and he clutched at Cas’ hips, needing something to hold onto so he wouldn’t be completely lost in the feeling. 

“I’m ready,” he said. “Cas, please, I’m ready. I need you inside me.”

“You’re sure?” Cas said, halting the movement of his fingers. 

“If you don’t fuck me, Cas, I swear to God,” Dean threatened. 

Cas withdrew his fingers as gently as possible. “Okay,” he said. Dean missed having them inside of him immediately, but he knew something even better would be next. Cas turned away for a moment, and Dean heard the sound of the condom packet ripping open, and then Cas was back on top of him.

“It might be easier on your stomach,” he said.

Dean shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said. “Like this. I want to see you.”

Cas reached down and kissed him deeply, then lined himself up and slowly pushed into Dean. There was a slight ache as Dean’s body opened to accommodate him, but mostly Dean felt the incredible rightness of it. It was a million times better than the feeling of any of his toys. Once Cas was fully sheathed inside him, he looked at Dean, silently asking his permission to move. Dean nodded enthusiastically, but couldn’t find the words. He was too lost in the way Cas felt inside him, filling him up. 

Almost torturously slowly, Cas began to move. He rolled his hips forward, thrusting in and out, his breathing getting rougher. Dean grabbed him by the hips to help him out, loving the way Cas’ face looked above him, completely unguarded and lost to pleasure. Cas sped up, finding a rhythm that made them both moan. Dean spread his legs even further, allowing Cas to slip deeper inside of him. On the next thrust, Cas brushed against his prostate, and Dean made an even louder noise. He could hardly believe how good it felt, and he knew part of that was thanks to the conversation they had had earlier. Dean had no problem with no-strings-attached sex, but he could admit that he always enjoyed it more when there were feelings involved. It just made everything more intense.

Dean could feel himself getting close, but he couldn’t quite tip over the edge. Frustrated, he reached down to stroke himself in time with Cas’ thrusts. Cas caught sight of what he was doing and sped up his movements even more.

“Yeah, that’s it, touch yourself for me,” Cas said. “You look incredible right now, Dean. I want to see you come for me.”

“Won’t be long now,” Dean managed to say. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“Me too,” Cas said. “Dean, please. Come for me, sweetheart.”

That was it. The sound of his name and the pet name in Cas’ gravelly, sex-roughened voice sent Dean spiralling into orgasm, his head falling back against the pillows as he came messily onto his hand and stomach. Cas groaned and thrust into Dean a few more times before he stiffened and came as well, his mouth falling open in pleasure. He then collapsed unceremoniously on top of Dean, heedless of the mess on his stomach.

“You okay there, champ?” Dean said, smoothing Cas’ sweaty hair off his forehead, running his other hand down his back.

Cas raised himself up on one elbow, looking down at Dean fondly. “That was amazing,” he said.

“Yes it was,” Dean agreed, leaning up to kiss him. They kissed softly for a few minutes before Cas pulled away, sliding out of Dean at the same time.

“I should clean us up,” he said, removing the condom and tossing it into the trash. He offered Dean a tissue to wipe the come from his stomach, then left the room briefly, returning with a damp cloth from the bathroom. Dean was content to let Cas take care of him, lounging on the bed, feeling relaxed and sated.

Once they were both cleaned up and had changed into pyjamas, Dean having borrowed a pair, Cas turned off the lamp and they snuggled into bed together. Cas immediately pulled Dean back against his chest, and Dean didn’t even complain about being little-spooned. He actually quite liked the way it felt to be held by Cas. It was safe, and comfortable. Dean sighed happily, and Cas’ arms tightened around him.

“We’re still going to have pie for breakfast in the morning, right?” he asked.

He could feel Cas laugh from behind him. “Yes, Dean, we can have pie for breakfast.”

“Good.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, and just when Dean thought he might drift off to sleep, he heard Cas murmur something.

“What did you say?”

“I just said I’m happy to be here with you,” Cas said, closer to his ear this time. “I hope to be for a long time.”

Dean rolled over and kissed him. How could he not? “Me too, Cas,” he said. “To all of that.”

Cas smiled at him, and kissed him on the forehead. “Goodnight, Dean,” he said.

“Goodnight, Cas,” Dean replied, then turned back around, readjusting himself in Cas’ embrace. Not long after, they were both asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many feelings. So much smut. 
> 
> We're starting to wrap things up, folks. But there's one full chapter and an epilogue left!


	11. Chapter 11

Cas woke up the next morning to the sound of something scratching at his door. It sounded like a cat, but that made no sense, because Faithful always slept with Cas. Except that he hadn’t last night, because there was someone else in Cas’ bed instead.

It was only then that Cas registered Dean still snuggled up beside him. At some point in the night they had shifted positions, so now Cas was on his back, with Dean curled in towards him, his head pillowed on Cas’ chest. Looking down at the other man’s sleeping face, Cas felt an overwhelming sense of rightness. He considered waking Dean up with slow kisses and wandering hands, but he could tell that it was still quite early, and Dean looked so peaceful like this. Last night had been a bit of a rollercoaster for them both, but particularly Dean, so instead Cas eased himself out of the other man’s embrace and out of the bed, leaving Dean to his well-deserved rest. 

He left the bedroom, closing the door gently behind him, and reached down to pick up Faithful, who was making disgruntled noises but soon settled once he was in Cas’ arms. He brought the cat down to the kitchen with him, getting out a special tin of food for him as an apology for locking him out of the bedroom all night. Checking the clock over the stove, he saw that it was just coming up on eight-thirty, meaning that Gabriel was long gone. Dean hadn’t mentioned having any important plans today, and Cas’ schedule was clear, so once Faithful had finished eating, Cas played with him for a few minutes to reassure him that he was still loved, then snuck out of the room while the cat was distracted by his stuffed mouse. Shaking his head at himself, Cas went back upstairs and into his room, making sure to close the door again. Dean seemed to be growing fond of the cat, but that didn’t mean he would want Faithful around all the time.

Cas slid back into bed, and this action was what finally woke Dean. He yawned, and then opened his eyes slowly. Cas was fascinated just watching him. He looked younger and softer in the early morning light, breathtakingly beautiful. 

“Hey,” Dean said. 

“Hi,” Cas replied, reaching out and taking Dean’s hand. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Dean said. “This is even nicer, though.”

“I agree. May I just say that you look absolutely wonderful in my bed?”

“You may,” Dean said, fluttering his eyelashes. “And may I say that as great as this bed is, it’s you that makes it perfect?”

Cas tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t help giggling. He was just so happy. Dean was in his bed, trading exaggerated compliments with him, and now he was laughing too, making the muscles of his stomach twitch in interesting and distracting ways. Dean must have noticed how Cas’ eyes had wandered, because he moved their clasped hands onto his chest, then dragged them lower.

“Wanna make it a really good morning?” he said huskily. 

“Yes,” Cas replied, leaning in to kiss him, too enchanted to care about trivial things like morning breath. 

There were a lot of words Cas could use to describe what it was like kissing Dean. Currently, he couldn’t think of anything fancier than ‘good.’ It was always so good. Deepening the kiss, Cas rolled on top of Dean, bringing their bare chests into contact. The sunlight streamed through the windows, and a light breeze whispered across their exposed skin, adding to the pleasurable sensations they were experiencing. 

Cas kissed his way down Dean’s neck, then moved his mouth lower, taking one of Dean’s nipples between his teeth and tugging lightly. Dean gasped and tossed his head, prompting Cas to repeat the action on the other side. After a minute or so of this back and forth, Cas took pity on Dean and kissed his mouth again, though he missed the lovely noises Dean had been making. 

Cas must have gotten distracted in the feel of Dean’s mouth on his, because he was not expecting it when Dean sneakily disentangled their hands and brought both of his up to squeeze Cas’ ass through the thin fabric of his pyjama pants. Cas inhaled sharply and automatically rolled his hips forward, causing his erection to brush right against Dean’s. Dean grinned beneath him and squeezed again, using his hands to help Cas rock forward over and over, picking up a rhythm. 

Suddenly Dean used their momentum to flip them over so that Cas was beneath him. Surprised, but not displeased, Cas smiled up at him.

“You seem like a man on a mission,” he said. 

“Yep,” Dean said cheerfully. “I’m gonna suck your cock.”

Christ. Cas felt himself harden just at the thought. Though he had gone down on Dean several times, Dean had only returned the favour once, shyly admitting that while he had done it before, he wasn’t very practiced and didn’t want Cas to be disappointed. And yet here he was, announcing a morning blowjob like it was no big deal. Cas was a very lucky man.

“I’m going to need you to say something,” Dean teased.

“Yes,” Cas said, forcing himself to concentrate. “Dean, please.”

Dean smiled again, using one hand to pinch lightly at Cas’ nipple while teasing the edge of his sleep pants with the other. He tugged them down, and Cas scrambled to help him take them off completely. Then he was naked, and Dean was looking at him like he was the best thing he had ever seen. It was quite thrilling for Cas. 

“You are so goddamn gorgeous, Cas,” Dean said, stroking the back of his hand across Cas’ stomach. “You look amazing like this.”

Cas could feel himself blushing, but he tried to maintain his composure. It didn’t last long, however, because Dean smoothly reached down and took hold of his cock, rubbing his thumb over the head. Cas moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Can you keep your eyes open for me, Cas?” Dean asked.

Cas did as he was asked, but as Dean started to move his hand, it became more and more difficult. 

“That’s it,” Dean murmured. “Want you to watch me, babe.”

Without any further warning, Dean lowered his head and took Cas’ cock into his mouth. Cas made an unholy noise and brought both hands up to rest lightly on Dean’s head. Dean looked up and nodded, so Cas tightened his grip slightly. With that point of contact established, Dean began to work at Cas with his lips and tongue. The last time they had done this, Cas had been so overwhelmed he had only lasted a few minutes. As much as he would have liked to draw it out, he didn’t think this time would be any different, not with Dean sucking him off so enthusiastically. 

Dean drew back slightly so that just the tip of Cas’ cock remained in his mouth, then took him back in slowly. Cas could feel himself getting close. His hips thrust forward instinctively, and Dean made a muffled sound of surprise. 

“Sorry,” Cas said, trying to keep still. 

Dean withdrew enough to talk. “S’okay,” he said. “Just keep it slow, and we’ll be okay.” Then he reapplied himself to his task.

This was unbelievable. Dean had just given Cas permission to fuck his mouth. He moved one hand lower, wrapping it around Dean’s jaw for stability, and gently rocked his hips upwards, watching as his dick slid in and out of Dean’s mouth. The sight was incredible. He wanted to draw the moment out, but he didn’t think he would be able to last much longer. The feeling of Dean’s mouth on and around his cock was too intense. 

“Dean, I’m close,” he said. Fighting to keep his eyes open, he looked down to see Dean nod at him again. It was all too much. 

“Dean,” he said again, but Dean didn’t pull away. Helplessly, Cas came, spilling himself into Dean’s mouth. Only then did Dean draw back and swallow. Cas groaned again at the sight. This man was obviously trying to kill him. 

Dean propped himself up beside Cas. “I’m getting better at that, huh,” he said cheekily.

“You certainly are,” Cas said, still struggling to catch his breath. “Give me a few minutes to recover and let me return the favour.”

“Nah,” Dean said. “I’m too close already. You got me all hot and bothered just laying there. It’s not like me to turn down a blow job, but what can I say, I’m a changed man.”

Before Cas could protest further, Dean sat back and removed his pyjamas, wrapping one hand around his hard cock. He seemed quite content to jack himself off while staring at Cas, and while the idea certainly had merit, Cas wanted to be a bit more participatory today. He reached up and batted Dean’s hand away, replacing it with his own. Dean just smiled at him as though that had been his plan all along. Cheeky.

Cas was determined to make Dean come, and quickly, so he moved his hand rapidly over Dean’s cock, precome helping to ease his movements. Dean’s confident smile faded as his breathing became less steady. Cas fought the urge to smirk up at him. 

“God, I love your hands,” Dean said. “Just like that, Cas, yeah.”

With just a few more strokes, Dean was coming, spilling hot and white over Cas’ hands, moaning out something that might have been a curse or might have been Castiel’s full name. Or some combination of the two. Cas stroked him slowly through the aftershocks until Dean shuddered and gently pulled his hand away. 

Cas reached for a tissue and cleaned them both up. Tossing it into the trash, he flopped back onto the bed and pulled Dean down beside him. They lay there quietly for a few minutes before Dean’s stomach rumbled noisily.

“Sorry,” Dean said. “Guess I worked up an appetite.”

Cas laughed. “I believe something was said about having pie for breakfast?”

Dean’s eyes lit up. “Oh yeah,” he said triumphantly. “Come on Cas, we’ve got a whole pie to eat, time’s a-wastin’!”

Cas chuckled as Dean pulled his borrowed pyjamas back on, but he followed suit. Dean’s enthusiasm was highly contagious. He followed Dean out of the bedroom and down the stairs into the kitchen. The pie was still sitting on the counter, so he urged Dean to take a seat while he made them a pot of coffee to accompany their pie.

When he turned back to face Dean, he was touched to see that Faithful that come back out of hiding and clambered into a spot on Dean’s lap. Dean didn’t even seem bothered by it, petting the cat absent-mindedly.

“He was mad at me this morning because I locked him out of the bedroom all night,” Cas commented. “I don’t know why he’s not upset with you too, seeing as you’re the reason he was denied his usual place in my bed.”

Dean grinned at him. “Hard to stay mad at a face like this,” he said. 

“True,” Cas agreed, reaching up to grab two mugs for their coffee. “I certainly have difficulty doing so.”

“Hey,” Dean said, suddenly serious. “You don’t think we rushed back into things too quickly, do you?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Cas said. “I assure you, Dean, I’m strong-willed enough to resist even your immense charm if I’m truly upset. I was just commenting on how much I like your face. I’ve put yesterday behind us, I swear.”

“Except for all the racy parts, right?”

Cas sighed, bringing their coffee and pie over to the table. “Yes, Dean. The racy parts I”ll keep.”

“Good,” Dean said, shifting his chair closer so he could hook his ankle around Cas’ under the table. “Cause this is one of the best mornings I’ve ever had, coming on the heels of one of the best nights.”

“Here’s to many more,” Cas said, raising his mug in a toast.

\---------------------

Dean couldn’t stop smiling. His cheeks were starting to hurt from it. Sitting in Cas’ kitchen, eating this incredible pie, looking at the amazing guy sitting beside him, Dean felt uncharacteristically happy. Even the cat wasn’t so bad after all. He was in a benevolent mood. He looked up from his pie and caught Cas’ eye. The other man blushed. It was cute. He was cute. Dean was so gone on him. 

“You keep staring at me,” he said to Cas. “Worried I’m going to disappear or something?”

“You’re very attractive,” Cas said. “I enjoy looking at you.”

“Right back atcha,” Dean replied. “I mean, I thought you were smokin’ hot the first time we met at the store, but I would never have guessed this is where we would end up.”

“Eating pie for breakfast after a night of emotionally vulnerable confessions and then some really, really good sex?” Cas said drily. “I wouldn’t have guessed it either, but dreamed it, certainly.”

Dean laughed. “This is so weird,” he said. “Good weird, of course. But still weird.”

“What, because people don’t just meet while one of them is at work and feel an instant attraction before going through a ridiculous number of misunderstandings and meddling friends before finally going on a date?”

“Exactly. Can’t we just tell people we met online or something?”

“Absolutely not,” Cas said, looking affronted. “We have a fantastic story. I know how stories work, Dean, it’s kind of in my job description.”

“Fine,” Dean sighed. “I guess it’s okay, since it has a happy ending.”

“You big softie,” Cas said. “You’re a sucker for a happy ending?”

“Totally,” Dean admitted. “I mean, sometimes it needs a bit of tension, or certain things to not work out perfectly for everyone, but there are other times when I just want everyone to get their happily ever after.”

“I have a very serious question for you, then,” Cas said. “What’s your favourite love story?”

Dean stopped himself before he could blurt out something completely incriminating like, “ours.” It was too early for that. But he made a mental note of it. It would make a really nice line to use in a wedding speech, someday.

“I don’t think I have one favourite,” he said instead. “I kinda like the variety. What about you?”

Cas smiled. “The Blue Castle, by L.M Montgomery. She’s best known for writing Anne of Green Gables, but this was a stand-alone novel intended for adult readers rather than children.”

Dean loved listening to Cas talk about books, even ones he had never heard of, so he prompted him for more details. “What’s so good about it?” he asked. 

“Everything,” Cas said dreamily. “The main character has only a year to live, so she decides to break free from her traditional family and live out her last days to the fullest, with the help of a mysterious man with a troubled past.”

“And I’m guessing it’s a happy ending?”

“The happiest.”

“Cool,” Dean said. “I will add it to my list of Cas-approved reads. I have a feeling that list will be getting a lot longer.”

“Probably,” Cas agreed. “My solution to pretty much everything is to read a book and have a cup of tea. So I tend to bring my work home with me, and am always throwing recommendations at people.”

“If I brought my work home with me, I’d be throwing car parts at people.”

“Let’s try to avoid that.”

“Just think of it though. We’re fighting about something stupid, then you get mad and throw some fucking hardcover at me, which I dodge, of course, and then I throw, I dunno, starter cables or something back at you. It would solve any argument, we’d both be laughing too hard to keep fighting.”

“You should have a relationship talk show. You give really great advice,” Cas said, trying to contain his laughter.

“I’m also fond of ‘I feel’ statements,” Dean joked. 

“No you’re not.”

“No I am not,” Dean agreed. “But they can be useful.”

“More useful than some generic inspirational book from the Self-Help section?” Cas teased.

Dean smiled at the memory of their first encounter. “Yeah, thanks for helping me avoid that disaster,” he said.

“Just trying to anticipate the customer’s needs,” Cas said with faux modesty. 

Dean raised his eyebrows. “And what would you say that I need right now?”

Cas looked at him in confusion. “You’re not the customer right now.”

“Come on, play along.”

“Okay,” Cas said. “Is it...more pie?”

“Nope,” Dean said. “Delicious as it was, that’s not what I had in mind.”

A slow grin crept over Cas’ face. “Is it something only I can give you?”

“Not exactly,” Dean said. “But yeah, you’re the only one I want it from.”

“Oh, I see,” Cas said, nodding his head. “You’re regretting turning down that blow job earlier.”

Dean burst out laughing. “Not quite. But good to know that’s immediately where your mind went.”

Cas scooted his chair closer so that there was almost no space between the two of them. “I think I know what it is,” he said.

“Prove it,” Dean said. 

Cas reached out and tenderly cupped Dean’s face in one hand, then he leaned in and kissed him. Their lips pressed against each other sweetly, and Dean brought up his hand to bury it in Cas’ hair, still tousled from sleep, messing it up even further. This was exactly what Dean wanted. He wanted to be able to kiss Cas just because he felt like it. He wanted Cas to kiss him to shut him up, so that he could pretend to protest about the interruption and have Cas kiss him again to make him stop talking completely. It didn’t need to be a prelude to any sexual activity. Dean just liked kissing Cas. Really, really liked it.

Cas pulled away to smile at Dean. “Was that what you needed?”

“Yep,” Dean said happily. “Good work.”

“Always happy to oblige.”

They continued to sit there, just looking at each other. Dean was enjoying the comfortable silence, but he wanted to make sure he wasn’t intruding. Everything between them was still so new.

“Did you have plans today?” he asked. “I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“No,” Cas said. “I’m pretty boring on my days off. I like to go for a run if the weather’s nice, then I usually just read or watch TV. Maybe meet up with Anna or one of my friends from college, but only on occasion.”

“Good to know,” Dean said. “Part of me feels like going out somewhere, showing you off to the world, but the rest of me just wants to stay all cozy in this house with you.”

“That is a difficult decision,” Cas said. “It is a rather lovely day, though.”

“Wanna go for a drive?”

“Always,” Cas said. “We should probably put some real clothes on, though.”

Dean sighed. “You’re no fun,” he said.

“Oh, I think I’m plenty of fun,” Cas said with a wicked look in his eyes. “But if that’s what you’re after, maybe we should stay home.”

It was a tempting offer. Dean weighed his options carefully. It was still pretty early in the day. They could go for a drive, maybe stop somewhere for some food, have a picnic in some overgrown field off the side of the highway….yeah. Then they could come home and Cas could show him just how much fun he could be. Maybe Dean could do the same.

“Let’s go for a drive,” he said, standing up and pulling Cas up with him. “As much as I like the thought of you and me in bed together all day, you’re right. It’s a gorgeous day. And you look really hot sitting in my passenger seat with those sexy sunglasses on.”

“Perfect, because I think you look really hot driving your car. Or standing near it. Or even just when you talk about it, really.”

They went back upstairs to get dressed. Cas loaned Dean a t-shirt to wear, and Dean was not-so-secretly pleased about wearing the other man’s clothes. It was another symbol of closeness, another indication that this thing between them was real. Dean loved it.

Dean noticed Cas staring at him again. “Now what?” he asked.

“I like the way you look in my clothes,” Cas said. 

“I was just thinking about how much I liked wearing them,” Dean said. 

“I’m wondering if we made the wrong decision in getting dressed,” Cas said.

Dean grinned. He wasn’t unfamiliar with people finding him attractive, but the way Cas seemed to relish the thought of getting physical with him was absurdly flattering. 

“Just think how great I’ll look driving my car in your clothes, though,” he said.

“That’s true,” Cas said. Then he bent over and rummaged in the bedside table, coming up with a bottle of lube and a few condoms. “I think it’s best that we drive prepared.”

Dean was one hundred percent on board with this plan. “Cas, you dirty thing,” he said admiringly. “You gonna fuck me in the back of my car, pulled over in some field somewhere?”

Cas hummed thoughtfully. “I could. But really, I was hoping that you would fuck me in the back of your car, pulled over in some field somewhere.”

Dean just stared at him for a second. Jesus. 

“The first time I saw your car, I knew I wanted to get naked in that backseat,” Cas continued. “And I’m a big believer in equal opportunities in the bedroom. Or out of it, in this case.”

“Okay,” was all Dean could manage to say.

Cas laughed and kissed Dean on the cheek as he headed out of the bedroom. “Come on, Dean. We’ve got a very big day ahead of us.”

“Yes we do,” Dean muttered to himself as he followed Cas out of the room and down the stairs. 

Once they had packed up a few snacks and some bottled water, Cas locked the house behind them, and they got in the Impala. “Where to?” Dean asked.

“I have no idea,” Cas laughed. “I don’t even care.”

“My kind of road trip,” Dean grinned. “We’ve got plenty of gas, cell phones are charged, we’ve got all the provisions we could need, and we’ve got the best possible company. Let’s just see where we end up, huh?”

“I like the sound of that,” Cas said, reaching over to place a hand on Dean’s thigh as he drove. “Let’s just see where we end up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this was my favourite chapter to write because they're finally able to just be gross and happy and full of banter. 
> 
> If you want to imagine what they get up to in the car at some point during their drive, you should listen to Diamond Rings' Put Me On for mood music. Seriously. Do it. 
> 
> Also, there was a sneaky preview of my next project in here- the book Cas tells Dean is his favourite love story? Yup, it's gonna be the inspiration for my next story!


	12. Epilogue

Cas couldn’t remember the last time he was this nervous. Maybe before his first date with Dean? Not even then, he thought to himself, pressing the buzzer for Dean and Charlie’s apartment and shifting his grip on the bouquet in his hands so he wouldn’t crush the flowers. He was buzzed in, and smiled awkwardly at the elderly woman sharing the elevator with him. She gave him an approving look when she saw the flowers in his hands. That was reassuring, at least.

He reached Dean’s floor and got off with a nod to the woman, then walked the short distance down the hallway. He took a deep breath and knocked on Dean’s door.

“Hey!” Dean said excitedly as he swung the door open. “You’re here!”

“I am indeed,” Cas said, stepping into the apartment. There were a few extra pairs of shoes on the small mat in the doorway.

From behind Dean, a very tall young man appeared. “Cas!” the man exclaimed. “So glad you’re here. Now maybe Dean will shut up about how great you are.”

“No chance of that,” Dean said with a grin. “Cas, this is Sam. Sam, Cas.”

Cas stepped forward and shook Sam’s (huge) outstretched hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Sam,” he said, hoping the other man didn’t notice how clammy his hand was. 

“You too!” Sam said enthusiastically. “Jess, come meet Cas!”

A tall blonde popped up from the living room and came over to join them. “Hey, Cas,” Jess said. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” Cas said. “Oh, these are for you.” He offered her the bouquet.

“Where are my flowers?” Dean complained. 

“Shut up, Dean,” Jess said. “Thank you, Cas, that’s so sweet of you. You should teach these two some manners, lord knows they could use them.”

“I bring you flowers,” Sam protested. Jess laughed and patted his cheek. “Yes,” she said, “but you didn’t bring my sister flowers the first time you met her, did you?”

“Was I supposed to? Is that a rule? Blame Dean, he was the one who taught me everything I know about girls and dates and relationships,” Sam said, not hesitating to throw his older brother under the bus. Dean replied by lightly cuffing his brother on the arm.

Cas was charmed by their antics, and felt himself start to relax. He knew how important Sam was to Dean, and had wanted to make a good impression. Fortunately, it seemed like Dean hadn’t been exaggerating when he talked about how great his brother was. There was an easy atmosphere between all of them that boded well for both couples.

“Is Charlie not here?” Cas asked, looking around the apartment.

“Nah,” Dean replied, rummaging around in the fridge and coming up with four beers, which he handed out. “She’s at her girlfriend Gilda’s tonight, spending time with her family, but they’re coming to dinner tomorrow.”

“Awesome,” Sam said, sounding just like his brother. “It’ll be great to see her. And everyone else.”

“Is your family upset that you’re not spending Thanksgiving with them?” Cas asked Jess. 

“Nah,” she replied. “My parents only live about an hour away from school, and it’s usually just them, my sister and I, and one set of aunts who do dinner with us, so we had it last weekend instead. It made more sense, since Sam’s family is so much further away.”

“That must be nice, having them nearby,” Cas commented, taking a sip of his beer.

Jess laughed. “It’s pretty good, yeah,” she said. “They’re far enough away that I get some space, but not so far that I can’t go home when I need some family time.”

Sam joined them. “I wish home was a little bit closer to school sometimes,” he said. “I miss you, Dean. It’s so great to be back here.”

Cas looked over and saw the pleased expression on Dean’s face. Cas smiled. His boyfriend was adorable.

“Good to have you back, Sammy,” Dean said gruffly. 

“I propose a toast,” Jess said, raising her beer. “To family, new and old.”

“To family,” the three men echoed her, and clinked their bottles together. 

“So, Cas,” Jess said mischievously. “I don’t think Sam has told me how you and Dean met.”

Dean groaned and took a long swig of his beer. “I don’t think we’re drunk enough for that story,” he said. 

“I didn’t ask you,” Jess said, taking a seat on the couch and patting the space beside her. Cas went willingly. He liked Jess already, and it was always fun to wind Dean up a little. 

“So,” she said, leaning forward, “tell me the story.”

Sam and Dean sat down in the armchairs across from them. Dean was still pretending to complain, but Cas could tell that he was enjoying himself. Dean just liked to be dramatic.

“Dean and I first met when I was working,” Cas began. 

As he detailed the strange set of circumstances that led to their eventual relationship, Jess’s laughter became more pronounced. Cas glanced over to see that Sam was laughing as well, shooting gleeful looks at his brother as Cas explained how he had mistakenly believed Charlie and Dean to be dating.

“And then finally, Dean asked me out, and the rest is history,” Cas finished, draining the last of his beer.

“Great, storytime’s over,” Dean said, rising from his seat to get Cas a refill, passing an affectionate hand over his hair as he took his empty bottle. “Unless you and Sam wanna share with class, Miss Moore?”

“It’s not nearly that interesting,” Jess said sadly. “We met in class, there was a connection, he asked me out.”

“You’re right, that isn’t very interesting,” Cas commented. 

Jess pointed a finger at him threateningly. “Watch it,” she warned.

“Doesn’t matter,” Sam said. “I’m sure Bobby and Ellen will find plenty of other ways to embarrass us tomorrow. You guys won’t be alone in that.”

“Good to know,” Cas said. “I’ve met most of your large family already, but this will be the first time we’ll all be together.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” Jess said.

“I appreciate it,” Cas said. 

“Nah, it’ll be fine,” Dean said, handing Cas a second beer and placing a few extras on the table. “There’s always so much going on and people coming in and out all the time, nobody will be focused enough to interrogate either of you two.”

“If you say so,” Cas muttered. “I’ll hold you to that.”

They passed a few hours in pleasant conversation, eventually trading places so that Sam and Jess were curled up on the couch with their legs tangled together and Cas was sitting in front of Dean’s chair, resting against his legs. Cas looked over and noticed Jess trying to discreetly cover up a yawn. 

“We should head out,” he said, tipping his head back to look up at Dean. “Let these kids get their sleep.”

“I thought you college types stayed up all night, either partying or studying,” Dean commented. “Falling asleep so soon?”

Sam yawned as well. “Yeah, well, we’ve found that a regular sleep schedule really helps with the whole learning thing,” he said. “You guys don’t have to go, though, we’re fine on the couch and the floor.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cas said. “You two stay here, and Dean and I will go back to my place. I need to feed my cat, anyways.”

“You have a cat?” Jess asked, sounding about ten times more awake than she had been a few minutes before. 

Cas was amused. “Yes,” he said. “His name is Faithful. Perhaps you can come over and meet him at some point while you’re here. He’s quite friendly.”

“Sam, can we go meet Cas’ cat?” Jess asked excitedly.

Fortunately, Sam seemed equally excited at the prospect. “I hope so,” he said.

“The little furball is pretty cute,” Dean said, standing up and stretching a hand out to help Cas to his feet. “We’ll tell him hello from you both.”

They said their goodnights and left the apartment, making their way down to the car to head back to Cas’ house.

“I like them both a lot,” Cas commented as they got in the Impala. “They seem well-suited to one another.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, getting behind the wheel. “It’s rare for me to think anyone’s good enough for Sam, but she seems to be. Not that he really needs my approval, but still.”

“I hope Sam approves of me,” Cas said.

Dean twisted in his seat to look at him. “Were you nervous?” he asked.

“Very,” Cas admitted. “He’s so important to you, and I knew that his opinion would mean a lot to you. So yes, I was nervous. But I think we’ll be okay.”

Dean smiled. “We’ll be just fine,” he said.

\---------------

The following afternoon, Dean looked around The Roadhouse and wondered how exactly he’d gotten so lucky. Sam and Jess were chatting with Bobby at one of the booths along the back wall. Jo was mixing drinks behind the bar, having an animated conversation with Gabriel, who was drinking something with a pink cocktail umbrella stuck in it. He could hear Ellen swearing from the kitchen, where she and Ash were putting the finishing touches on the meal. And Cas was playing pool with Charlie and Gilda, though it seemed like they might have given up on the game in favour of an animated discussion of some comic series. 

Dean loved these Thanksgiving dinners. Ellen and Jo were a small family unit, so they invited everyone with nowhere else to go to join them every year. The food was always excellent, and you couldn’t beat the company. 

“Dean,” Ellen yelled from the kitchen, “come give us a hand bringing this food out.”

Dean did as he was told. Sam must have heard Ellen as well, because he excused himself from his conversation and came to help out. Several smaller tables had been pushed together in the middle of the bar, creating one long space for everyone to eat. Dean, Sam, Ellen and Ash brought out plates of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans, and a variety of other dishes. There was a bit of confusion over seating arrangements, but eventually everyone settled into a seat.

“We don’t really say grace,” Ellen explained from the head of the table. “But as usual, I’d like to offer my thanks that we’re all here together, and to take a moment to remember those who aren’t.” She bowed her head, and Dean knew she was thinking about her husband, who had passed away when Jo was just a kid. He followed suit, thinking of both of his parents. He felt Cas take hold of his hand under the table and give it a comforting squeeze. 

“Alright, let’s eat!” Ellen said, looking up, and everyone cheered. 

Dean piled his plate high with all his favourites, but he was careful not to overindulge now. There would be pie later, both Ellen’s apple and Gabriel’s pecan. Cas looked over at him and smiled. “Saving room?” he asked.

“Yup,” Dean replied. “Gotta make sure I give those pies the respect they deserve after this.”

“I believe in you,” Jo said from across the table. “I’ve seen you eat one of Mom’s pies by yourself, Dean, I know what you’re capable of.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t after Thanksgiving dinner,” Dean argued. “That was just on my birthday.”

“An entire pie?” Cas said, looking shocked. “That is impressive.”

“You should see Sam at the all-you-can-eat sushi places,” Jess chimed in. “It’s fascinating and horrifying at the same time.”

“I take big appetites as a compliment,” Ellen said. “And there’s plenty of food, so don’t you go limiting yourself, Castiel.”

“Yes ma’am,” Cas said, and took another helping of mashed potatoes and gravy.

“See, you don’t have to worry about anything,” Dean said. “Just keep eating and complimenting her food and Ellen will be on your team for life.”

“That’s no hardship,” Cas replied. 

Dean was glad to see that Cas had relaxed a bit since the day before. Personally, he didn’t find any of his extended family intimidating, but then again, he had known them for most of his life. They were a pretty rowdy bunch, and their affection was often shown in unconventional ways, so maybe that was what Cas had been worried about. He seemed totally fine, now though, chatting away to Jo as he ate. 

It was really great, having Cas here with him. In the two months since they’d made things official between them, Dean had come to appreciate all sorts of little things about the other man. How he was always on time for things, but never got mad if Dean was late, as long as he kept him updated. How he knew exactly how to make Dean smile after a hard day at work. How cute he looked when he was playing with his cat. How hot he looked naked and writhing in Dean’s bed. Dean was stupidly gone on this guy, and he hoped Castiel knew it. 

Maybe today was a good day to make sure that he did.

After everyone had finished eating, they all pitched in to clear the table, then most of them retreated to the more comfortable booths to stretch out and digest a bit before dessert. Cas volunteered to make the coffee and tea, which was greeted with enthusiastic support. Dean waited a few minutes after Cas went into the kitchen, then stood up and followed him. He ignored knowing looks from Sam, Gabriel, and Jo along the way. Damn siblings and almost-siblings. They knew too much.

Dean snuck into the kitchen as quietly as he could, sliding up behind Cas where he was pouring water into the coffeemaker and wrapping an arm around his waist from behind.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said calmly.

“You were supposed to be surprised,” Dean said, pretending to be upset. 

“Yes, well, when you live with a cat, you get used to being pounced upon unexpectedly,” Cas said. “I’m pretty hard to startle.”

Dean sighed. Oh well. The moment wasn’t entirely lost.

“Having a good time?” he asked.

Cas put down the coffee pot and turned around so that he was facing Dean with his back to the counter. “Very much so,” he said with a smile.

“Good,” Dean said. He was getting a bit nervous. Best to say it before he chickened out. “It’s really nice, having you here with everyone,” he said.

Cas nodded, but he must have sensed that Dean had more to say, because he kept silent. 

“It’s been really nice, being with you in general,” Dean continued. “These past two months have been awesome, Cas.”

“I think so too.”

“And I know it hasn’t been all that long, but we said it ourselves, we’ve got a great story, and I’ve been thinking this for a long time anyways, but I’ve been too scared to say it, but you make me feel brave, Cas….”

Cas cupped Dean’s face in both his hands. “Dean,” he said, “what is it?”

“I love you,” Dean blurted out. “I love you so much, Cas, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and you make me so goddamn happy and I kept looking around today and thinking how cheesy it was but how thankful I am that you’re in my life. I love you.”

Cas ran his thumb tenderly across Dean’s cheek. “Oh, Dean,” he said, “I love you too. I have for a long time, I think.”

As much as Dean had been hoping to hear Cas say that he returned his feelings, it was always a risk, being vulnerable like that. Dean let out a sigh of relief, and he would have dropped his head onto Cas’ shoulder, but Cas kept his hold on Dean’s face and brought their lips together in a tender kiss. 

Dean kissed him back enthusiastically, stepping forward so that he was standing between Cas’ legs, pressed up against him. As their kiss deepened, he brought his hands to Cas’s sides and tugged him up slightly so that he was sitting on the counter, Dean standing in front of him. He knew someone could walk in at any moment, but Dean couldn’t find it in himself to care about that right now, not with the way Cas was moving his tongue and the feeling of his body so close to Dean’s own. He could feel them both getting hard in their pants, and he wondered if they had time to sneak out to the car for a quickie.

Faintly, Dean heard someone cough behind them. He disentangled himself from Cas and turned around to see Bobby standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. Cas hid his face in Dean’s shoulder, but Dean could feel him shaking, and he was pretty sure it was from laughter.

“Hey,” Dean said awkwardly. “Coffee won’t be long.”

“Better not be,” Bobby said. “Though I might need something stronger after what I just saw.”

“Sorry, Bobby,” Cas said, lifting his head from Dean’s chest. “We got a bit carried away.”

“I can see that,” Bobby muttered, turning on his heel and exiting the kitchen. “Idjits,” he said.

Dean helped Cas steady himself as he slid down from the counter. “Well, we should have known that was going to happen,” he said.

“We’re in love,” Cas said with a shrug. “I’m fairly certain that we’re contractually obligated to be caught making out by at least one family member.”

“Gotta keep up with those love story cliches, huh,” Dean said. 

“Indeed,” Cas replied. “But don’t worry, I didn’t put a ring in the pie. I’m far too young to be married.”

Dean just stared at him, and Cas laughed. “Someday, maybe, if you’re very, very good,” he promised.

“What if I’m very, very bad?” Dean asked, his voice dropping lower.

“Still maybe someday,” Cas said. 

Dean laughed and pressed a quick kiss to Cas’ cheek, then offered him his hand. “Ready to go back out there?” he asked.

Cas took hold of his hand. “Ready for anything,” he said.

Dean was happy. He had his family around him, both blood and not, and he had Cas. He hadn’t needed to reinvent himself much at all. He’d just needed to take a step back and appreciate the good things he had in his life, and allow himself the chance to let new ones in. It had turned out pretty well in the end. 

Maybe it would even be happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) The part near the end about being very, very good or very, very bad is pretty much directly lifted from Tamora Pierce's Realms of the Gods. There were way more Tortall book references in this story than I planned.
> 
> 2) THIS IS THE END!!!!!! Thank you so much to everyone who has read, kudo'ed, commented, etc. It means ever so much to me. This story is marked complete, but I won't rule out of the possibility of timestamps if the mood strikes me. 
> 
> 3) I wanna make more fandom friends, so if you're nice and friendly, you can find me at http://pomegranatedaffodil.tumblr.com/ It's gonna be a long summer without the show, my dears, so let's make the most of it together!


End file.
